Where there is love, there is pain.
Ivy: can a person be "in love" but not happy at all? I mean.. if they were with the person they were in love with.. can they still be 'unhappy' with life? wouldnt being with the person you were in love with, negate the unhappiness you would feel if you were alone and therefore make you happy.. at least to some small degree?
Vorashal Yeah, you can be happy with someone, but not be happy with the circumstances
Ivy: what if there are no circumstances?
Vorashal there are always circumstances, even if you may not notice them
Ivy: how do you know if you are in love with someone if that person doesnt have the power to make you happy at all?
Vorashal then you aren't in love with that person, you are in love with the idea of being in love
Ivy: thats what i thought
Before this conversation, I had a dream of a house burning to the ground. It wasn't like my other dreams, where I can actually see a storyline leading up to it. Or, if it were, nothing about it stuck in my head other then this ending.
Before this conversation, I had to have questions answered. I had to ask them. Had to have them asked. I had to pull aside Ecamer for a 'talk'. One in which neither of us left comfortably from. But, things have been bothering me for awhile. I needed to know...
I haven't fully decided if I want to post the conversation we had so I can remember it. It seems that doing so would 'solidify' it to some extent. It isn't that it is too private, though it probably is. I just don't know if I am ready to fully accept things.
I will say this. Ecamer has admitted to me on more then one occasion that there is absolutely Nothing I could do to ever make him happy. Yet he claims to be 'in love' with me. He asked me if I was 'in-love' with him. I admitted that, no.. I was not. (This was after a LOT of thought on my part. Weeks, Months even... And I am still very unsure if this is a correct answer.) He asked me if I had ever been 'in-love' with anyone. Again, the answer was "No." (I may have thought I was once, but looking back on the situation(s), I'm not so sure anymore.)
Ecamer made me happy. He makes me happy. I do love him and that will not change. But knowing that I never have been able to, nor ever will, be able to do the same for him, breaks my heart.
I want him to find what/who makes him happy if I cannot do it on my own... To do so, I am setting him free. Please do not think this means we are getting a divorce.. Far from it actually. It just means that the truth has finally been spoken and we are going to see where that leads us.. as painful as the path may be.
Vorashal Yeah, you can be happy with someone, but not be happy with the circumstances
Ivy: what if there are no circumstances?
Vorashal there are always circumstances, even if you may not notice them
Ivy: how do you know if you are in love with someone if that person doesnt have the power to make you happy at all?
Vorashal then you aren't in love with that person, you are in love with the idea of being in love
Ivy: thats what i thought
Before this conversation, I had a dream of a house burning to the ground. It wasn't like my other dreams, where I can actually see a storyline leading up to it. Or, if it were, nothing about it stuck in my head other then this ending.
Before this conversation, I had to have questions answered. I had to ask them. Had to have them asked. I had to pull aside Ecamer for a 'talk'. One in which neither of us left comfortably from. But, things have been bothering me for awhile. I needed to know...
I haven't fully decided if I want to post the conversation we had so I can remember it. It seems that doing so would 'solidify' it to some extent. It isn't that it is too private, though it probably is. I just don't know if I am ready to fully accept things.
I will say this. Ecamer has admitted to me on more then one occasion that there is absolutely Nothing I could do to ever make him happy. Yet he claims to be 'in love' with me. He asked me if I was 'in-love' with him. I admitted that, no.. I was not. (This was after a LOT of thought on my part. Weeks, Months even... And I am still very unsure if this is a correct answer.) He asked me if I had ever been 'in-love' with anyone. Again, the answer was "No." (I may have thought I was once, but looking back on the situation(s), I'm not so sure anymore.)
Ecamer made me happy. He makes me happy. I do love him and that will not change. But knowing that I never have been able to, nor ever will, be able to do the same for him, breaks my heart.
I want him to find what/who makes him happy if I cannot do it on my own... To do so, I am setting him free. Please do not think this means we are getting a divorce.. Far from it actually. It just means that the truth has finally been spoken and we are going to see where that leads us.. as painful as the path may be.