I would like mail and I want to play!firebirdgrrlSeptember 13 2007, 22:45:05 UTC
I miss...
1. New Orleans. I only got to go twice and I've missed it ever since. I think about it every day and wish I could be there to help, to listen, to have cocktails at The Columns to have a home that might only exist in my mind--but I still love. And sandwiches and cocktails are nowhere as good anywhere else.
(Austin too. And Chicago and New York City and London. Everywhere else feels like home.)
2. School-- supplies--pencils, notebooks, big bags of books, learning things and being good at it.
3. Feeling like I was part of a community, kinky, queer, what have you instead of feeling like I'm on an island.
4.Adventures. Sometimes I'm afraid I've run out, that everyone else has gone past their Adventure Time into quiet, normal time and I still want to run to the woods and fall in love with beautiful girls and finally get to smoke and spin stories by a creek on a summer afternoon where I've just been swimming where a witch told me was the perfect time. I miss that spot though I've never been there.
5.Feeling things. Skin. Pleasure. The sense that everything was like Anais Nin's playground--that you wore stockings because anything could happen and I could just dash off to Europe too. Can that happen to me now that I'm wearing yoga pants and Earth shoes?
I cherish...
1. Priestessing and learning, being part of something bigger than myself.
2.My Lodge, who gives me solace and comfort and lots of the good kind of laughter.
3. All of those I have on LJ whom I have met and have yet to meet--it's a galaxy of stars.
4. Surprises
5. Resilience--changing and growing and becoming more.
I am more than...
1. an office drone.
2. the dud of an oldest daughter.
3. That Crazy One
4. a failure as a grad student
5. I can dream of. I have to remind myself
I would like to...
1. Have a tribe of family/lovers/whatever even if it takes a long time.
2. Become ordained in the EGC
3. Understand that I will still be special even if I'm not sick.
4. Hold hands and dance.
5. Fly.
I actually...
1.sometimes think about Willow when I'm having a hard time or Kaylee when I need to smile or Buffy or River when I need to be strong.
2. Cry at the end of the Buffy episode "Family" because I still see it with the same "I don't believe this is on, that this just happened" eyes I did for the first time
3. believe in love.
4. talk to my Mother when I need to, my real Mother.
5. am on fire with love and visions and I'm still afraid that someone might see.
Re: I would like mail and I want to play!witchbabyblueSeptember 14 2007, 00:54:21 UTC
i'm not fully responding to people yet, just swooping by, but - um. i can't even tell you how much heart-overlap i saw & how many rushes of warmth i felt, just reading this. yes in the broader dreamy themes, but also in the almost weirdly & recent specifics. and i just... just...
Re: I would like mail and I want to play!witchbabyblueSeptember 14 2007, 01:18:58 UTC
hhmmmmmm...: Ocean. safe. soft. would you like to pick the specifics, pretty? (unless you, too, might just happen to have a hankering for Greece!) ((but really, my dreams run wild enough with what they're given, with my heart - that running away to a nearby Ocean with the right person could be just as magic.))
Re: I would like mail and I want to play!firebirdgrrlSeptember 14 2007, 01:29:21 UTC
Greece sounds divine-we can have yoghurt and honey and fresh peaches and go swimming and if we need a break Offerings and Archeological Expeditions!
(of course, I need to show you the full moon over the river in NOLA too---not an ocean, but still beautiful, like you--or read you poems by the fountains at Versailles...)
I miss...
1. New Orleans. I only got to go twice and I've missed it ever since. I think about it every day and wish I could be there to help, to listen, to have cocktails at The Columns to have a home that might only exist in my mind--but I still love. And sandwiches and cocktails are nowhere as good anywhere else.
(Austin too. And Chicago and New York City and London. Everywhere else feels like home.)
2. School-- supplies--pencils, notebooks, big bags of books, learning things and being good at it.
3. Feeling like I was part of a community, kinky, queer, what have you instead of feeling like I'm on an island.
4.Adventures. Sometimes I'm afraid I've run out, that everyone else has gone past their Adventure Time into quiet, normal time and I still want to run to the woods and fall in love with beautiful girls and finally get to smoke and spin stories by a creek on a summer afternoon where I've just been swimming where a witch told me was the perfect time. I miss that spot though I've never been there.
5.Feeling things. Skin. Pleasure. The sense that everything was like Anais Nin's playground--that you wore stockings because anything could happen and I could just dash off to Europe too. Can that happen to me now that I'm wearing yoga pants and Earth shoes?
I cherish...
1. Priestessing and learning, being part of something bigger than myself.
2.My Lodge, who gives me solace and comfort and lots of the good kind of laughter.
3. All of those I have on LJ whom I have met and have yet to meet--it's a galaxy of stars.
4. Surprises
5. Resilience--changing and growing and becoming more.
I am more than...
1. an office drone.
2. the dud of an oldest daughter.
3. That Crazy One
4. a failure as a grad student
5. I can dream of. I have to remind myself
I would like to...
1. Have a tribe of family/lovers/whatever even if it takes a long time.
2. Become ordained in the EGC
3. Understand that I will still be special even if I'm not sick.
4. Hold hands and dance.
5. Fly.
I actually...
1.sometimes think about Willow when I'm having a hard time or Kaylee when I need to smile or Buffy or River when I need to be strong.
2. Cry at the end of the Buffy episode "Family" because I still see it with the same "I don't believe this is on, that this just happened" eyes I did for the first time
3. believe in love.
4. talk to my Mother when I need to, my real Mother.
5. am on fire with love and visions and I'm still afraid that someone might see.
Reply
um. i can't even tell you how much heart-overlap i saw & how many rushes of warmth i felt, just reading this. yes in the broader dreamy themes, but also in the almost weirdly & recent specifics. and i just... just...
can we run away together?!
Reply
Where do you want to go, O Beauteous One?:)
Reply
would you like to pick the specifics, pretty?
(unless you, too, might just happen to have a hankering for Greece!)
((but really, my dreams run wild enough with what they're given, with my heart - that running away to a nearby Ocean with the right person could be just as magic.))
Reply
(of course, I need to show you the full moon over the river in NOLA too---not an ocean, but still beautiful, like you--or read you poems by the fountains at Versailles...)
Reply
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