[Fanfic] Red West III. - Chapter two

[witchann2]

Title: RED WEST III.
Author: Kasumi
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Western, Drama, Romance, Adventure, Historical fiction
Warning: AKame pairing - AU; vulgarisms, violence, explicit content
Beta-reading:

Comments

[atago4]

I know it´s just my view, mainly because I´m kind of busy lately with a lot of other stuff, but you really got going with start of RWIII, didn’t you? ;-) I fell like it was yesterday when I was proof-reading the prologue, and now we are already at chapter two, with three probably just around the corner :-D

Well, I very much liked Koki in here - even though he started showing some maturity and independence at the end of RWII. What with his decision to accompany the three companions across half the Plains, acceptance of Akame and overall appearance of “growing up” at least partially, it is nice to see he still has miles to go. He had his homecoming all planned out in his mind, but, as they say - “reality ensues”, and it was just a young boy´s dream. Oh well, he´s still a kid. But then he once again gets to thinking, and comes up with more or less mature and considerate decision. So yeah, growing up, not yet there by any chance :-) So far in RWIII (from what we have of it), Koki is my favourite number one.

Liwan was also nice, as I already said, his peaceful beginning in this chapter was a nice break from the otherwise tense last one and later half of this one.

And our two heroes, well… Boy they need to be careful (I want to yell at them, both of them - Jin for provoking Kame, Kame for buying it - I was so worried someone would by accident see them… I know, I know, it was a deserted path and all that, bus still). I still hope this is just a passing problem, and when they leave the area, all will be well, but I know you. And I am afraid.
Very much afraid. :-D
Don’t want to elaborate much, mostly I don’t want to give you ideas :-D

On the plus side, it is nice to see that even Kame know where to stick his doubts. The ending of the first chapter filled me with worry they will get the Official Couple Ordeal Syndrome - I think you know what I mean ;-) Gods only know you put you certain other characters through Hell, Tartarus and Niflheim. But even though they will probably get spades of this from the outside, it´s nice to see their inner relationship is solidly in place now, and if no one gets stupid ideas (looking at you Kame), they will be fine :-)

Good luck writing next chapter ;-)

[witchann2]

Heh, from my point of view, I´m just as slow as ever. XD

Koki… I´m flattered that I made you think about him so much. To be honest, except Jin and Kame, I´m not very focused on characters´ actual development… I just let them react on those obstacles and situations I put in their way according to what (I think) they are like. So, I´m really glad you think Koki is actually so complex. :D

As for some… relaxing parts… I always promise myself to be nicer to my dear heroes and still, mostly thanks to the time period RW is set in, it´s really hard to find some peaceful moments for them. But I´ll keep trying!

Naturally, I won´t comment on persistent or passing problems, as I don´t want to reveal anything in advance. :P But you can speculate whatever you like, you know I will do whatever I want anyway. XD

Official Couple Ordeal Syndrome… I had to look it up. :´D
And I´m not denying nor admitting anything related to something like that. You know my Cruel Author Side already…

Thanks!
It won´t go so smoothly with the next one, but hopefully, I won´t let anyone wait for too long. ^^v