(no subject)

Oct 17, 2003 23:27

I don't know what to think. Part of me is very happy that Oz does not have to go to jail. However, I know he's guilty and it makes me angry that the court can just send a guilty man on the streets, even if he says he did it. Oz just seems out of it, and I really don't know what to say or do. Our relationship has been a struggle, but we both love each other, so I know we can make it work. I try to support him on everything that he does. I can feel when Oz is thinking about the murder... He just gets all quiet and kind of looks at the ground. Then when I try to hug him, he just backs away thinking he doesn't deserve any sympathy.

I feel as though I am drifting from everybody again. Whenever anything happens with Oz, good or bad, I just zone out into my little "Oz-World." My life is always revolving around him, but the thing is, I don't really mind. I chose it to be that way. Is that unhealthy? Maybe so.... but I just want to be wrapped up in him forever.... I think about forever a lot.
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