Am I still writing this?
Hey look I'm still writing it. Since feedback (TWO PEOPLE ZOMG!) seemed to like it, I figured I'd continue... When it's finished, I might post it to some comms.
Comment please! I love getting comments so much and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Title: Walk a Mile
Rating: T, maybe up to M. Not really sure, just be warned.
Warning: Spoilers for up to chapter 72 (or 71-2), Crackish Slash and Femslash, Crack theories, crackpairings, mild sexual situations, genderbending, mild nudity, language, that time of the month... If you were old enough to read the latest chapter then you probably are fine to read this.
Pairings: Soul/Maka, slight crackish Maka/Waffles (both of them), mild Kim/Ox, Harver/Jackie. Possibly more crackpairings.
Summary: AU after chapter 72. Kid's been safely rescued, but the effects of the Lust chapter won't wear off for two weeks, leaving the members of Spartoi to deal with hormone issues, unwanted suitors, and Blair.
Chapter One: Not All It's Cracked Up To Be.
Only Kirikou had to buy full sets of clothes, but none of them got out of shopping, since while regular clothes were well enough to share, undergarments certainly were not. Soul had almost fainted at the thought of wearing Maka's underwear and so with great apprehension and (for the two pairs that had remained behind) great amusement the entirety of Spartoi filtered into a mall.
It was a nightmare. In the end, they had been split up by gender, the former men following after a giggling Kim, Jackie, and Blair into the lingerie store while the former men followed Harver and Ox in search of mens underwear. Soul was bright red the entire walk there and his blush only intensified when they actually arrived.
And then the assistants started to measure them, and while Black Star, Kid, and Kirikou were led to a bigger section, with Blair and Jackie to help out, Soul was bluntly (and with many giggles) told that he didn't need a bra.
It actually kinda hurt. Suddenly Soul felt guilty for his jabs on Maka's chest. Plus, he did laundry half the week and he knew perfectly well that Maka did wear a bra, though he'd never dared look closely enough to determine the size.
'Great, not only am I attracted to Maka but she's not as flat as I thought. Uncool.'
When the giggling assistant had gone away, Kim took pity on him.
"It's not all it's cracked up to be," Kim said. "By the end of the week, Black Star is going to be sorry he ever considered a big chest to be attractive."
Soul blinked at her blankly. Kim just grinned and looked around, "What about those?" she pointed.
"Lace? Like hell!" he turned blue first, nauseated at the thought of wearing the lacy undergarments. The result was that he looked very patriotic, with a blue face red eyes and white hair. Then he pictured Maka in it and his brain died.
'Not cool not cool not cooooool.''
"Just regular white, please," Soul begged. "This is embarrassing enough as it is."
"NO! THAT PATTERN IS NOT SYMMETRICAL BLACK STAR! PICK SOMETHING ELSE!"
Kid's new feminine screech carried over the store. Soul buried 'her' face in 'her' hands. "Someone kill me, please."
"Sorry!" Kim chirped, dragging him off to help Kid. "My weapon's busy right now and you don't want to be killed by Jackie anyway. Burning to death isn't fun."
'Why me?'
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By the time they got back to the apartment, Soul was ready to collapse. They'd just fought their way through an evil book after all, endured shopping with Kim and Jackie, and on top of that his back hurt and he was feeling a little queasy. But his schoolgirl uniform was a wreck, his hair was tangled, and he really wanted to get the grime out of his clothes...
'Relax,' he told himself. 'It's technically my body.'
'But Maka's figure,' logic struck. 'Or at least what you thought her figure was.'
In the end he ended up showering with his eyes shut, fumbling around for the soap and probably missing half his hair. But it was working out well enough until he dropped the bar of soap, slipped on it, and ended up opening his eyes as he caught himself, only to catch sight of a trickle of red mixing with the shower water.
"Damnit!" Soul swore. "Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit Damnit!" He kept going on to that effect until Maka hesitantly knocked on the door.
"You okay Soul?"
"No I'm not okay!" Soul shrieked. "I've been turned into a woman and... And I'm PMSing!" Soul sniffed, wiping his eyes and hoping that he wouldn't look like he was crying when he got out of the shower.
"Wh-what?" Maka sounded surprised and a little awkward. "Uh, well... uh..."
"Damnit Maka what do I do?!" he wailed.
"Under the sink, there are some pads."
"This is so wrong in so many ways." Soul hastened to dry himself, trying desperately not to get any blood on the towel, and opened the cabinet under the sink to find Maka's supply of feminine products. Heat rushed to 'her' face again and Soul grabbed one quickly.
About ten minutes later, a thoroughly embarrassed Soul walked out of the bathroom, relieved that the worst was over, to find Maka standing there, fidgeting and bright red and looking overall embarrassed.
"Maka?"
"Uh... Soul... I uh... I kinda... need to use the bathroom... But..."
The universe seemed hellbent on punishing him today.
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"HOLY SHIT TSUBAKI!"
"Wh-what happened?!" Tsubaki panicked, hurrying towards the sound of the voice. Black Star burst out of the bathroom, wide eyed.
"What do I do?!" Black Star looked almost terrified as he grabbed Tsubaki's hands like they were a lifeline. "Shit, I want chocolate..." He muttered, suddenly distracted, before shaking his head. "B-but what do I do?! I don't know what to do! I've never been a girl before!"
"Oh... OH!" Tsubaki blushed and began to explain.
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When Kirikou showed up at their door, flushed and panicking, Jackie didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Spending so much time together, the female members of Spartoi had ended up synced. They just never imagined it would extend to this.
When phone calls were exchanged later, Liz informed them that Death Gods didn't have a menstrual cycle. That information sent the former men of the group into tears and envious mutterings.
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A/N: So, chapter one is done... Eheh... This didn't quite turn out how I intended, but the next chapter will be better, I promise.
Next Chapter: The new girls of Spartoi have an unintentional meeting over chocolate cake, Waffles 2.0 makes her appearance, and Soul learns in a whole new way why you shouldn't mess with a girl on her period.