(no subject)
I think I feel guilty. Not quite sure on that one. Whatever it is, boy does it suck like woah. Things around here have been pretty quiet for me since- well since Vanessa and I killed Tamara and Michael. I like saying it that way. It doesn’t sound quite as bad when there’s another person involved. Even though I know for a fucking fact that while I can blame Tamara’s demise on Vansessa, I’m the reason Michael’s dead. And I knew him. He was a friend. Or at least, he used to be, way back when. But a lot has changed since then. At least I know I had. From what I’d seen of Michael so far, he was pretty much the same too, aside from his slayer appendage. I just- I don’t know anymore. I just need to finish sorting things out in my head.
Either way, it looks like I’ve finally done something substantial enough to cement my place in the coven. The change was almost automatic, as if everyone knows. Which I still suspect they might, time will only tell. Even Vanessa’s taken to stalking and menacing the new girl. Which means I’m no longer it. Not that I’m complaining about that, mind you.
But I have changed. This I know for sure. Whether for better or for worse, I still haven’t quite pinpointed. I did seem make a place for myself, somewhere that’s secure for now, but what I had to do to get it…. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not the same old Amy, and no matter how hard I might try to be in the future, I’m not. And I have a feeling that is something that’s not going to change anytime soon. It’s almost like the person I see when I look in the mirror isn’t me anymore. The thing is, I’m not entirely sure I’m unhappy with what I see…
Either way, it looks like I’ve finally done something substantial enough to cement my place in the coven. The change was almost automatic, as if everyone knows. Which I still suspect they might, time will only tell. Even Vanessa’s taken to stalking and menacing the new girl. Which means I’m no longer it. Not that I’m complaining about that, mind you.
But I have changed. This I know for sure. Whether for better or for worse, I still haven’t quite pinpointed. I did seem make a place for myself, somewhere that’s secure for now, but what I had to do to get it…. The only thing I know for sure is that I’m not the same old Amy, and no matter how hard I might try to be in the future, I’m not. And I have a feeling that is something that’s not going to change anytime soon. It’s almost like the person I see when I look in the mirror isn’t me anymore. The thing is, I’m not entirely sure I’m unhappy with what I see…