Once more, with feeling.
Things that bother me: people who say they are religious who don’t put any feeling behind what they say.
I’ve said it before in personal conversations but this is what I feel is one of the true points of why I don’t agree with most organized religion. Every year I am expected to go to church two times. Once at Christmas and once at Easter. Every year it’s a struggle for me to find peoples passion in this. The people that I see in the church, the congregation, the choir, the pastors, my mom, none of them show in once service the amount of passion I have seen people sing in one song.
If you truly believe that this infant was born from god and women, then rejoice in it. Do no bow your heads and sing to your hymnals, sing to the heavens. We’ve had the same service since as long as I can remember, the same songs, the same reading and in spirit, the same sermon. It’s all about sharing the ultimate love that was supposedly given to us, and yet after the pastor is finished speaking, and actually now that I think about it, during the sermon, they are monotonous. You can say “Glory to God in the heaven and peace on earth” as many times as you want. If you aren’t screaming it, then what is the point?
They talk about spreading the love and this faith and yet these people are afraid to lift their voices. Afraid that someone in the congregation will point them out as “that girl who sings loudly.”
How do I know they are afraid? Because I am afraid.
I am not an active member of any church community and am already singled out at the church my mother attends and she says she doesn’t care what the congregation thinks of her and her family, but I know it matters to her now more than ever. This is her faith family now, after losing her mother, it is all she has for this notion of salvation.
But if you say you believe in something, why not actually rejoice when saying “rejoice!” “Joy to the world” should not be sung at a whisper. If it is something you believe, then scream it out. Who cares what you sound like, it is the message you are sending.
However I am not saying go out and start telling everyone the good word. Because even as I write this I know I can never again be pulled back into that semblance of faith. I will gladly enjoy the tidings and the spirit of the community if that is where I am, but outside that I would rather your beliefs not be pushed upon me. I do not go around telling you that you are blessed and kept by the loving mother, and so I expect that same respect.
But seriously. If you are in a community of other like minded believers, what is wrong with jumping up and proclaiming that which you think you believe.
I think this is why if I have any touch of a faith life it is at camp. Where we always sing at the top of our lungs. Where the lord’s prayer doesn’t sound like a cult’s last rite but an actual plea for help.
One day I would like to turn my church into something fun and creative. But here’s the kicker. I would need help. I cannot stand up front of the congregation and preach about rejoicing and celebration and movement and feeling in the church without some help. I am but one person. Also that small fact I would feel that I were preaching lies.
If I had a host of counselors with me, scattered throughout the pews, I bet I could make a good attempt at riling up the congregation. Most Lutherans are unfortunately stuck in their ways. It is my dream to see all the little old ladies crouched down at the beginning of the “Australian version” of the lord’s prayer and then see them screaming from their lungs at the end.
What need have you to bottle passion inside when around those of liked minds? Did the great revolutionary thinkers gather other brilliant minds around in order to quietly discuss things and never move forwards with anything? No they wanted debate, they wanted argument, they wanted passion. And that’s all I’m asking for.
In my lifetime there are two things that I would like to do.
Both involved the shortest day of the year.
I want to be part of a covens Solstice ritual and dance in the woods around a giant fire and just party the darkness away. Most people say that they would be naked and really, why not? What have you to hide from the earth who created you and the people who are created equal?
I also want to be part of/host a longest night masquerade. Because again all they are celebrating is that the darkness is gone and soon light will be here and things will look up. Plus I really want to have a moment with someone hidden behind a mask, but that’s just all part of the fun.
But also because these two rituals show passion and caring and enthusiasm about what they are celebrating. Playing Lutheran aerobics (stand up sit down stand up kneel sit down….) isn’t enough to spur in people a real enthusiasm.
And I think it is that lack of passion that pushes me away from an organized religion.
Chew on that for a bit.
;-)