Discworld: Going Postal
Fun Quotes
"I'm Mad Al, he's Sane Alex, and that's Adrian, who says he's not mad but can't prove it."
They'd cursed and, worse, used logarithms. They'd waded through rivers and dabbled in trigonometry. They hadn't dreamed, in the way people usually used the word, but they'd imagined a different world, and bent metal around it. And out of all the sweat and swearing and mathematics had come this . . . thing, dropping words across the world as softly as starlight.
Sane Alex and Mad Al were old men in the clacks [telegraphing] business; they'd been in it for almost four years.
It was a little like stealing. It was exactly like stealing. It was, in fact, stealing. But there was no law against it, because no one knew the crime existed, so is it really stealing if what's stolen isn't missed? And is it stealing if you're stealing from thieves? Anyway, all property is theft, except mine.
"It's a totally mad idea," said Mad Al, grinning.
"Why the helmet?" said Moist.
"It's a disguise," said Alex.
"A big horned helmet?"
"Yes. It makes me so noticeable that no one will suspect I'm trying not to be noticed, so they won't bother to notice me."
He paid them no attention, but ran up the spiral stair so fast that when he reached the top he spun.
"This man," said Sane Alex, pointing an accusing wrench, "this man is mad!"
"Not as mad as someone who keeps his screws neatly by size in jam jars," said Mad Al.
"That counts as sane!" said Alex hotly.
"But everyone knows rummaging is half the fun! Besides -- "
"It's done," said Undecided Adrian.