severely caffeinated
This is kinda rough. Can't sleep. I would have been fine today. I'm actually pretty okay at keeping my caffeine intake at work to acceptable levels...but then someone didn't get their drink.....they didn't get their quad shot twelve ounce two pump hazelnut soy latte. Why did they order my drink...have me make it...and then not get it? Someone is out to get me.
I'm restless. Not just now with the buzz, but with my life. I want to do more with it. I want more direction. Here's the hard part though, I think that I'm past the stage where anyone else can give or tell me the direction to take....even if someone would I don't believe it would be valid in my eyes or that I would even follow it. I'm worried that I have to decide it for myself. That is so so scary for me. What if I mess up? I'm used to being able to allow the blame to fall back on someone else...not that I have let it...I've usually just taken responsibility, but that was because I had the option.
I'm 20. I have been for over 2 months. That is scary. I know it doesn't seem much, but really. 2 decades. MORE than 2 decades...and I've done nothing actually worthwhile. I can see very little I can do that would ever be considered worthwhile.
I wish I could be like all the other insomniacs and just watch TV and buy workout equipment for 20 bucks. Nope. Alas.
I'm restless. Not just now with the buzz, but with my life. I want to do more with it. I want more direction. Here's the hard part though, I think that I'm past the stage where anyone else can give or tell me the direction to take....even if someone would I don't believe it would be valid in my eyes or that I would even follow it. I'm worried that I have to decide it for myself. That is so so scary for me. What if I mess up? I'm used to being able to allow the blame to fall back on someone else...not that I have let it...I've usually just taken responsibility, but that was because I had the option.
I'm 20. I have been for over 2 months. That is scary. I know it doesn't seem much, but really. 2 decades. MORE than 2 decades...and I've done nothing actually worthwhile. I can see very little I can do that would ever be considered worthwhile.
I wish I could be like all the other insomniacs and just watch TV and buy workout equipment for 20 bucks. Nope. Alas.