Up and About
So I'm not going to sleep again because I have my last paper due for my Analysis of God class. This one is taking particularly long because I'm to choose one of 7 lectures given and transcribed at Oxford University and do a whole... whatever it is that Philosophy people do to things. However, it is so dry and tedious.... more so than most of what I have read in the recent year. My brain cannot do it as well as it used to. So in the spirit of a break, I looked around for jokes because I know there are a lot of jokes revolving around philosophy as well as plenty of jokes about philosophers. Allow me to share a few below and that will be the entry for the night/day. They're paraphrased since I actually lost the page due to my random clicking at the corner of screens.
What's the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?
-about $50K-
How do you get a philosopher off your porch?
-pay him for the pizza-
A professor of philosophy went to bed and had an amazing dream. In his dream, all the great philosophers of the world came up to him and presented the professor with their most persuasive and strongest arguments and reasonings. First there was Socrates and then Plato followed by Aristotle. Aquinas and Anselm and Descartes and Kant came as well. Berkeley and Hume and Hegel and Nietzche and Russell all came and presented their thoughts as well as countless others. However, after every single one of their presentations, the professor would utter a single line that would leave them so flustered and speechless that they all conceded to the professor. Realizing that in his dream, he had stumbled upon the end all response and answer to philosophical queries, the professor, with iron resolve, roused himself from sleep to drowsily write down what it was that he said before heading back to bed, a smile of contentment on his face. The next day when the professor woke up, he rushed over to his desk to see what it was that he had written. On his notepad, it simply read:
"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!
Here is one that I actually do not understand because it requires an understanding of Sartrian Existentialism... which I have not studied up on sufficiently. It is apparently one of the most obscure philosophy jokes in circulation. All I know is that it has something to do with everything being a positive existence (not positive as in "go get'em tiger" but in a completely different sense that I won't get into). Most, when they hear it, pass it off as a "blonde" joke because of a superficially visible ridiculous statement. However, I assure you that THAT is not the punch line. So yeah... for your amusement:
The French Existentialist-author Jean Paul Sartre walks into a cafe. He is greeted by a waitress who asks him what he wants to drink. He responds "I would like a coffee please with sugar but no cream". The waitress leaves for awhile and returns saying "I am sorry sir but we are out of cream. Would you like it with no milk instead?"
And finally, my favourite that I stumbled upon... and lets hope I get it right since I can't find the page:
Psychologists think that they are Behavioural Psychologists
Behavioural Psychologists think that they are Biologists
Biologists think that they are Biochemists
Biochemists think that they are Chemists
Chemists think that they are Physical Chemists
Physical Chemists think that they are Physicists
Physicists think they are Theoretical Physicists
Theoretical Physicists think that they are Mathematicians
Mathematicians think that they are Metamathematicians
Metamathematicians think they are Philosophers
Philosophers think they are Gods
And... That's all.
Take Care. Be Safe. Enjoy Life.
What's the difference between a philosopher and an engineer?
-about $50K-
How do you get a philosopher off your porch?
-pay him for the pizza-
A professor of philosophy went to bed and had an amazing dream. In his dream, all the great philosophers of the world came up to him and presented the professor with their most persuasive and strongest arguments and reasonings. First there was Socrates and then Plato followed by Aristotle. Aquinas and Anselm and Descartes and Kant came as well. Berkeley and Hume and Hegel and Nietzche and Russell all came and presented their thoughts as well as countless others. However, after every single one of their presentations, the professor would utter a single line that would leave them so flustered and speechless that they all conceded to the professor. Realizing that in his dream, he had stumbled upon the end all response and answer to philosophical queries, the professor, with iron resolve, roused himself from sleep to drowsily write down what it was that he said before heading back to bed, a smile of contentment on his face. The next day when the professor woke up, he rushed over to his desk to see what it was that he had written. On his notepad, it simply read:
"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!
Here is one that I actually do not understand because it requires an understanding of Sartrian Existentialism... which I have not studied up on sufficiently. It is apparently one of the most obscure philosophy jokes in circulation. All I know is that it has something to do with everything being a positive existence (not positive as in "go get'em tiger" but in a completely different sense that I won't get into). Most, when they hear it, pass it off as a "blonde" joke because of a superficially visible ridiculous statement. However, I assure you that THAT is not the punch line. So yeah... for your amusement:
The French Existentialist-author Jean Paul Sartre walks into a cafe. He is greeted by a waitress who asks him what he wants to drink. He responds "I would like a coffee please with sugar but no cream". The waitress leaves for awhile and returns saying "I am sorry sir but we are out of cream. Would you like it with no milk instead?"
And finally, my favourite that I stumbled upon... and lets hope I get it right since I can't find the page:
Psychologists think that they are Behavioural Psychologists
Behavioural Psychologists think that they are Biologists
Biologists think that they are Biochemists
Biochemists think that they are Chemists
Chemists think that they are Physical Chemists
Physical Chemists think that they are Physicists
Physicists think they are Theoretical Physicists
Theoretical Physicists think that they are Mathematicians
Mathematicians think that they are Metamathematicians
Metamathematicians think they are Philosophers
Philosophers think they are Gods
And... That's all.
Take Care. Be Safe. Enjoy Life.