God loves me (Part 1)
God has been doing some pretty amazing things in my life during the
last two months, showing me that He loves me just because. The story,
though, starts back a couple of years..
Through Jr. High and High School, my relationship with the Lord was very much based on feeling and emotion, with a limited intellectual understanding, based only on Truth spoken at youth group and church; I was never really challenged to read and study the Bible for myself. When I got to college, I realized how limited my understanding was and knew that if I wanted to share what I believe with others I needed to know just what it is I do believe. I needed to be able to explain what I felt and be able to answer questions with more than just "because that's what I've been taught in church."
Over the course of the next four or five years, I really began to focus on my intellectual relationship with the Lord. I became very skeptical of my emotions and feelings. In the midst of that time I also became very skeptical of dating relationships. I was overanalyzing everything and trying to find the basic reasons for everything and ultimately how it glorifies God, and I couldn't justify dating. I also came to realize about two and a half years ago that, even though I hadn't dated since seventh grade, I had let the thought of and pursuit of a dating relationship hinder my relationship with the Lord. With the help of a friend, I also realized that I had been oblivious to the blessing that singlehood is and the opportunity it provides to pursue God without distractions. So I dedicated the next semester to the Lord, promising to pursue Him where I had been pursuing a relationship. That semester was so fulfilling that I told the Lord that I would not seek a girlfriend until He gave me a clear go-ahead.
During that time I focused a lot on what dating is, what is the purpose, what makes a successful dating experience. I learned a lot about how women operate and comunicate and think, and how to effectively intersect the way I operate/communicate/think with that. It took about 18 months for me to feel really, really satisfied with being single and not yearning for more than a close relationship with the Lord. So it was about a year ago that I came to sort of a revelatory realization that I was actually in a place that I could date. I had matured a lot over that time and learned a lot and knew what I was seeking from a relationship and what I needed to rely only on the Lord for. I had also had a chance to observe other people's relationships and contemplate what was good and what to watch out for and what I might try to do differently.
Strangely, when I finally felt ready to date, I looked around and found no one I was interested in dating. I thought, "Wait, isn't God's timing supposed to be perfect? I'm ready, why isn't there a girl at my door?" But I realize now that that was a blessing, because it allowed me to now consider dating relationships without feeling guilty or immature, and because there was no one I was interested in, I could be assured that I wouldn't be reflexively pursuing a girl now just because I could.
(stay tuned for the rest of the story..)
Through Jr. High and High School, my relationship with the Lord was very much based on feeling and emotion, with a limited intellectual understanding, based only on Truth spoken at youth group and church; I was never really challenged to read and study the Bible for myself. When I got to college, I realized how limited my understanding was and knew that if I wanted to share what I believe with others I needed to know just what it is I do believe. I needed to be able to explain what I felt and be able to answer questions with more than just "because that's what I've been taught in church."
Over the course of the next four or five years, I really began to focus on my intellectual relationship with the Lord. I became very skeptical of my emotions and feelings. In the midst of that time I also became very skeptical of dating relationships. I was overanalyzing everything and trying to find the basic reasons for everything and ultimately how it glorifies God, and I couldn't justify dating. I also came to realize about two and a half years ago that, even though I hadn't dated since seventh grade, I had let the thought of and pursuit of a dating relationship hinder my relationship with the Lord. With the help of a friend, I also realized that I had been oblivious to the blessing that singlehood is and the opportunity it provides to pursue God without distractions. So I dedicated the next semester to the Lord, promising to pursue Him where I had been pursuing a relationship. That semester was so fulfilling that I told the Lord that I would not seek a girlfriend until He gave me a clear go-ahead.
During that time I focused a lot on what dating is, what is the purpose, what makes a successful dating experience. I learned a lot about how women operate and comunicate and think, and how to effectively intersect the way I operate/communicate/think with that. It took about 18 months for me to feel really, really satisfied with being single and not yearning for more than a close relationship with the Lord. So it was about a year ago that I came to sort of a revelatory realization that I was actually in a place that I could date. I had matured a lot over that time and learned a lot and knew what I was seeking from a relationship and what I needed to rely only on the Lord for. I had also had a chance to observe other people's relationships and contemplate what was good and what to watch out for and what I might try to do differently.
Strangely, when I finally felt ready to date, I looked around and found no one I was interested in dating. I thought, "Wait, isn't God's timing supposed to be perfect? I'm ready, why isn't there a girl at my door?" But I realize now that that was a blessing, because it allowed me to now consider dating relationships without feeling guilty or immature, and because there was no one I was interested in, I could be assured that I wouldn't be reflexively pursuing a girl now just because I could.
(stay tuned for the rest of the story..)