(no subject)
I don't understand why we all seem to hold on. When something bad happens we search for someone, anyone to blame. It's never our fault, we could have never caused anything bad to happen, It's always someone else. Because we are too perfect to cause ourselves pain. So we hold on to the hatred we form towards the "blamed" one and we become bitter because our hate consumes us. We start to live and thrive off feelings of distain towards a person who we've practically fabricated in our minds. How come we aren't mature enough to realize that the only blame there is, if any, is in ourselves. It's a cause and effect situation. It takes two to tango. We've all heard that expression, but I think I finally realize how truly accurate that statement is. We search for reasons for everything bad in our lives all the time, over and over we search to find an excuse, but where does it end? At the end of the day all we have is ourselves. No more and no less then Yours Truely sitting there. Yet we continue to hold on to things like they have some significiate power over us. But really how can they without us letting them, Once again leading back to the cause and effect theory. We all seem to place ourselves higher then everyone else, when I think we need to realize in the end, that no one is ever any better or worse than anyone else. This is regardless of how we choose to practice our beliefs and our lives. We all grieve, we all feel pain, we all feel anger, yet some how we seem to get by on believeing that we have it worse than everyone else. But how is that possible?
I'm not sure, maybe it's the only way we can finally stand on our own. You know, to hurt each other so much that we have no other choice but to let go, maybe otherwise we never would.
Maybe blame comes from being broken. I don't mean broken in the way a tree branch becomes broken in a tropical storm, or the way an egg becomes broken when it is dropped on a kitchen floor before it can be made into an omlet. I mean broken like a bone, painful and somewhat grotesque to look at. But broken bones, they heal under the right care and circumstances, so that means hope for the rest of us right?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you become the people you hate? The ones who hate the people the go to school with. Who no longer consider this the time of their lives, but the time in between what was real in life. Where you can't blame yourself or anyone else because you've tired and it just can't happen? Those times when your tears outweigh your smiles and you just want to figure out how that is possible and maybe just want to see a little bit of strength come back. Those times when no one is the person you imagined them to be. But that gives you hope because if they aren't what you thought you were, maybe you were wrong about the other stuff, the stuff that wasn't so good.