when you hate then your bound to get irrate
hi guys.
boy do i have an earful for you! *deep sigh*
so friday i went to the beach and went shopping. that was such a blast. i spent over $200 just on stuff for me. it was great! i got four new pairs of shoes...five new shirts..a new face plate for my phone..a couple bandanas ((one funshine bear one and a british flag one))...my very own hair straightener...and..a few other random things. good times.
mom and katie dropped me off at lisa's and that was all fine and dandy right. well then i go to the bathroom and i guess while i was in there james came to the door and said he had a message for me from brittany but he wouldn't tell anyone else what it was. so he left..and when i came out of the bathroom i was in utter confusion. i tried to call mary but brittany wasn't there. so i just kinda blew it off right?
...james came over and wanted to talk to me so i went outside with him and he just straight up asked me if i liked brittany. i was just like..what do you mean?? and he's all..well coz she likes you. and i was just like...whoa. total shock. i guess she wrote up a note for me and everything but he didn't have it with him. still haven't gotten to read that mother fucker yet! lol
neways i asked if i could get back to him because i really didn't know what to say at the time. i mean..i knew i liked her..but there's all this confusion and i didn't want to spit it out just yet. *sigh*
so later that day i went for a walk with her and i was all is it true brittany? and she's all..is what true?? and i asked her if what james had said was true..and she was all nervous like and i asked about the note and she said yeah but he left it at his house coz he took it from her and wouldn't give it back or something to that effect. finally i was just like..okay i'm not good with these kinds of conversations..i've never really had to have them before..but i've heard that..you...like me. and she was like yeah and i had to ask if she was sure..and she said yeah. and i asked why and she said she hadn't figured that one out yet.
and that was that for the time being. i told her about my confusion with anthony and what-not and how i didn't know what was happening with him and she was all understanding like.
then today...she asked me out. she asked ME out! brittany wants to be my girlfriend. huhwhat?! wasn't i the one that said that that would never happen??
and she did it so quickly. she asked me a question..i responded and then she was just like will you go out with me all fast like and i had to ask what she said and she repeated it and i told her i had to think about it. and that had she asked me two months ago there would be no issue right now.
...is anthony. what am i doing here?! who do i want?! i mean..coz anthony doesn't want the relationship thing. well as far as he's told me anyways. and it's not fair to me to base his feelings on what i hear from other people. i don't want to do that. i need to hear it from him. and right now he's all stressed to hell because of his hearing tomorrow that i don't even want to bring it up.
and what do i say? do i ask him where i stand with him? and what if he tells me that he wants to be with him? then what?? do i go with him or do i go with her?
if i go with him then brittany will be all weird-like around me. if i go with her..lisa would be disapointed and it would be weird hanging out there with anthony around.
but..no wait. why would it be weird? just coz we wouldn't kiss and fuck anymore? i mean hello we've only had sex once thanx. but if he does have real feelings for me i don't want to hurt him. but do i have feelings for him?
yes i do like him. i feel safe in his arms. but there's just something about brittany that i can't let go. she intriges me a lot. and i can't believe that she wants to date me. i can't fucking believe that shit.
but what do i do? i feel like i've stepped into someone else's life. these things don't happen to me. they just don't. how do i figure this out? how do i make the right choice? is there a right choice??
god damn it! i'm so fucking confused. and you wanna know the most fucked up part about it? all i want to do is talk to my dad.
*deep sigh*
neways..on another note..i got my computer all set up and everything. *beams* i'm so happy! now i just have to get the internet back there and life will be good.
okay..maybe not..but it'll be better anyways!
right well this is long enough so i shall shut it now.
boy do i have an earful for you! *deep sigh*
so friday i went to the beach and went shopping. that was such a blast. i spent over $200 just on stuff for me. it was great! i got four new pairs of shoes...five new shirts..a new face plate for my phone..a couple bandanas ((one funshine bear one and a british flag one))...my very own hair straightener...and..a few other random things. good times.
mom and katie dropped me off at lisa's and that was all fine and dandy right. well then i go to the bathroom and i guess while i was in there james came to the door and said he had a message for me from brittany but he wouldn't tell anyone else what it was. so he left..and when i came out of the bathroom i was in utter confusion. i tried to call mary but brittany wasn't there. so i just kinda blew it off right?
...james came over and wanted to talk to me so i went outside with him and he just straight up asked me if i liked brittany. i was just like..what do you mean?? and he's all..well coz she likes you. and i was just like...whoa. total shock. i guess she wrote up a note for me and everything but he didn't have it with him. still haven't gotten to read that mother fucker yet! lol
neways i asked if i could get back to him because i really didn't know what to say at the time. i mean..i knew i liked her..but there's all this confusion and i didn't want to spit it out just yet. *sigh*
so later that day i went for a walk with her and i was all is it true brittany? and she's all..is what true?? and i asked her if what james had said was true..and she was all nervous like and i asked about the note and she said yeah but he left it at his house coz he took it from her and wouldn't give it back or something to that effect. finally i was just like..okay i'm not good with these kinds of conversations..i've never really had to have them before..but i've heard that..you...like me. and she was like yeah and i had to ask if she was sure..and she said yeah. and i asked why and she said she hadn't figured that one out yet.
and that was that for the time being. i told her about my confusion with anthony and what-not and how i didn't know what was happening with him and she was all understanding like.
then today...she asked me out. she asked ME out! brittany wants to be my girlfriend. huhwhat?! wasn't i the one that said that that would never happen??
and she did it so quickly. she asked me a question..i responded and then she was just like will you go out with me all fast like and i had to ask what she said and she repeated it and i told her i had to think about it. and that had she asked me two months ago there would be no issue right now.
...is anthony. what am i doing here?! who do i want?! i mean..coz anthony doesn't want the relationship thing. well as far as he's told me anyways. and it's not fair to me to base his feelings on what i hear from other people. i don't want to do that. i need to hear it from him. and right now he's all stressed to hell because of his hearing tomorrow that i don't even want to bring it up.
and what do i say? do i ask him where i stand with him? and what if he tells me that he wants to be with him? then what?? do i go with him or do i go with her?
if i go with him then brittany will be all weird-like around me. if i go with her..lisa would be disapointed and it would be weird hanging out there with anthony around.
but..no wait. why would it be weird? just coz we wouldn't kiss and fuck anymore? i mean hello we've only had sex once thanx. but if he does have real feelings for me i don't want to hurt him. but do i have feelings for him?
yes i do like him. i feel safe in his arms. but there's just something about brittany that i can't let go. she intriges me a lot. and i can't believe that she wants to date me. i can't fucking believe that shit.
but what do i do? i feel like i've stepped into someone else's life. these things don't happen to me. they just don't. how do i figure this out? how do i make the right choice? is there a right choice??
god damn it! i'm so fucking confused. and you wanna know the most fucked up part about it? all i want to do is talk to my dad.
*deep sigh*
neways..on another note..i got my computer all set up and everything. *beams* i'm so happy! now i just have to get the internet back there and life will be good.
okay..maybe not..but it'll be better anyways!
right well this is long enough so i shall shut it now.