i'll keep a part of you with me...then everywhere i am there you'll be
hi guys.
i'm having a down time right now. i just stopped bawling. and here i am. typing.
i was so close to just walking out of work today. i just wanted to go. i wanted to just say fuck you all i ain't doin it anymore! and leave. but i didn't. i was fine most of the day. but it's funny how the brain works and how the littlest thing can trigger something in your head and *BAM* bastards.
what triggered in my head today? well..leah was talking about her brother going to vegas or something and for some reason i thought vegas..there ya go..i should just go there and elope when i get married. what's the point in throwing that elaborate wedding that i've dreamed of for years when my dad won't even be there to walk me down the aisle?!
yeah..and that set me off. and i got incredibly bitter.
and i am so fucking sick of hearing how he's "still with me" or how "he's watching over me". i'm sick of it! don't fucking say that to me anymore okay?! i don't fucking care if he's still with me i can't fucking see him! i can't feel him..i can't hear him..i can't smell him.
so fuck that bullshit. fuck it all to hell.
fuck everything to hell.
i'm having a down time right now. i just stopped bawling. and here i am. typing.
i was so close to just walking out of work today. i just wanted to go. i wanted to just say fuck you all i ain't doin it anymore! and leave. but i didn't. i was fine most of the day. but it's funny how the brain works and how the littlest thing can trigger something in your head and *BAM* bastards.
what triggered in my head today? well..leah was talking about her brother going to vegas or something and for some reason i thought vegas..there ya go..i should just go there and elope when i get married. what's the point in throwing that elaborate wedding that i've dreamed of for years when my dad won't even be there to walk me down the aisle?!
yeah..and that set me off. and i got incredibly bitter.
and i am so fucking sick of hearing how he's "still with me" or how "he's watching over me". i'm sick of it! don't fucking say that to me anymore okay?! i don't fucking care if he's still with me i can't fucking see him! i can't feel him..i can't hear him..i can't smell him.
so fuck that bullshit. fuck it all to hell.
fuck everything to hell.