i'm alive. and i'm in poverty.
one-sided conversations with her are always the same. third person. describing in every detail my eminent death. suicide. accidental. natural causes. cancer. infection.
always in third person. she, her, hers, all in regards to me.
watching myself. as if i'm outside of my being. but all of this happens on the inside.
the drugs do not silence your mind.
your imagination worsens your fate.
you can't consume enough liquids to overcome the dehydration.
the orgasm never comes.
the flow of bodily fluids is lacking. closing in on frustration.
you are left with nothing more than sore reproductive organs. rubbed raw in desperation.
is it fear that keeps you up at night. keeps you alive. sustains the flow of oxygen through your nostrils. and carbon dioxide coming out.
or does hope for something better, something unknown. maybe something you can handle. you survived the doldrums. boredom. delirium. the storm changed direction.
we are safe.
always in third person. she, her, hers, all in regards to me.
watching myself. as if i'm outside of my being. but all of this happens on the inside.
the drugs do not silence your mind.
your imagination worsens your fate.
you can't consume enough liquids to overcome the dehydration.
the orgasm never comes.
the flow of bodily fluids is lacking. closing in on frustration.
you are left with nothing more than sore reproductive organs. rubbed raw in desperation.
is it fear that keeps you up at night. keeps you alive. sustains the flow of oxygen through your nostrils. and carbon dioxide coming out.
or does hope for something better, something unknown. maybe something you can handle. you survived the doldrums. boredom. delirium. the storm changed direction.
we are safe.