Spider-Pitch
Title: Spider-Pitch
Series: Rise of the Guardians
Characters/Pairings: Jack Frost/Pitch Black
Genre: Crack
Rating: PG13
Comments/Warnings: Pitch is delighted and that means something bad, probably.
Inspired by Schokobiskuit and all the insanity that came after.
Jack stretched languidly on the mattress, happy to wake slow and softly from his slumber. He still felt so relaxed and loose from last night and it was incredible. He’d never been so thoroughly touched and explored and had honestly never thought he would-
“Holy shit!” Jack screamed, rolling onto his knees and grabbing his staff as if that might help defend him against… Pitch. Or… part of Pitch. Pitch with spider legs. Spider legs and no body, “What the fuck are you doing?!”
Pleased as fucking punch, the Nightmare King shuffled along, not quite approaching the bed, but doing a happy lap around the room that happened to keep him within Jack’s sight, “Oh, just my morning rounds.”
“Your morning what?”
“Rounds, Jack. No less than two hundred and forty five children woke up to the excruciatingly creepy sound of scuttling this morning,” the Boogeyman’s smile shone with delight when he added, “Almost fifty of them might have even seen me!”
Jack just sort of flopped back onto the bed, now that he didn’t need to kill anything with fire. Or frost lightning, as the case may be.
“I don’t know why I’m surprised.”
“You should have been there, Jack!” Pitch exclaimed, doing an excited little loop that took him under the bed and back out again, “Oh, how they screamed…”
Jack winced and made a face, trying hard to ignore the urge to grab a broom and sweep Pitch out the door. Or grab a cup and trap him. Or any number of things a person usually did to remove a spider from their presence. This was his new boyfriend, and he really just wanted to swat him.
But he looked so damn happy…
After about the third trip under the bed, the Nightmare King emerged at his usual looming height and Jack sighed in relief. He liked Pitch much better with only two legs.
And of course the Boogeyman noticed, turning toward Jack with a malicious smirk, “What’s wrong, Jack? Don’t like spiders?”
“It’s not the spiders,” Jack tried to explain, “It’s…”
“Yes?”
Jack sighed and just said it, “There is no part of this that makes getting down with an arachnid okay.”
Pitch’s expression froze on his face, and Jack winced again.
“Besides, I’ve never really been into Spiderman all that much.”
There came the dawning horror.
“More of a Deadpool kinda guy.”
…
Well, Pitch asked.