A complex relationship.

Apr 20, 2009 12:23

I can't remember the amount of times I've spent over the years berating my sister and putting the woman down. Which is stupid really. She has her flaws, to be sure, and doesn't live life according to my principles, but so what? I have tons of flaws and live my life to few peoples principles or expectations. Who the hell am I to judge her and how she's lived her life...which really hasn't been all that bad, considering. She's a reasonably smart person, though lacking common sense sometimes, who is caring and law abiding. And she's be shit on so many times by life that it's not funny anymore, but she's dealt with it best way that she can, and I have to say that she's pretty resilient for everything that she's had to go through.

- She's served our country.
- She's brought up a well adjusted, bright, loving boy, who will no doubt grow up to be a successful man.
- She's survived ovarian cancer.
- She's dealt with MS without much complaint.
- She's been a supportive sister, daughter, mother, and wife.
- She's been beat, used and put down by ex-husbands, who she was smart enough to leave.

...and now she might have colon cancer to top it all, after she's finally getting the life that she deserves and has always wanted.

Our relationship has evolved countless times over the years. We're around ten years apart... When I was a little girl, I practically idolized her. She was the coolest, and she'd treat me to so many fun experiences. Then she left for the military, and I suffered major separation anxiety from it. We had shared the same room, and then when she's got back, I was about 10. We even shared the same bed for a while, especially when she was pregnant for Caylib... She got married to Caylib's father when I was about 12 and then they moved to Georgia. I can't remember when they came back, but our relationship had changed a lot by then, especially after they moved back to Chillicothe. Her and Clint divorced after he'd cheated on her, among other things, and she moved back in with us for a long time. I was in college when she'd moved back in with Caylib, so she took over my room, leaving me in effect kind of homeless whenever I came home. During that time, our relationship was at it's lowest point, I think. She was irresponsible, but now I realize that she was just looking to find herself. I might not agree with the ways that she went about it, but I understand a lot more now the reasons behind it and why. She's made ridiculous amounts of mistakes that have not only cost her, but my family, and that's what has always been the major source of conflict between us. Her childish, self-centered nature and the consequences of her actions, that she previously had never seemed to ever learn from.

Long story short, we've grown closer over the last few years. She really has made great strides in her life. Partially through her own devices, partly because of the positive influence of her new husband, a man that I can actually saw nothing negative about. She's become a person that I can respect again, and almost trust. She's become a friend. And I've been able to admit my shortcomings as well. And minus the things in life that can't be controlled, she's taken control of her life and is/was happy. She's had a lot of weird health issues over the last year, but now it's culminated in this latest...I don't know what you'd call it really...tragedy, I guess. And it really is. I used to call my sister a hypochondriac, but really, the truth be told, she's always had legitimate health problems, and it was me who was being an unsupportive bitch of a sister. Even though it's something that we've bridged and moved past, I feel like calling her right now and apologizing for being as much of (if not more so) a bitch and idiot as I've always criticized her of being.

They found a tumor in her colon. She's going in soon to get it biopsied. I don't ask this very often, but you all wouldn't mind praying for her, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Come to think of it...maybe I will give her a call. I have a few minutes before my next class anyway.
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