And the panic attacks ensue
I've been having them again - panic attacks, irrational bouts of crying at school. I've been sick, I'm still sick, I'm overwhelmed with classes and meetings and everything in between. The apartment is a mess, has been for a week now, and my mind is so full and jumbled that I can't even string sentences in the right order. Bad luck, bad things happening, over and over, everything fucking day. My Smart Grant is being taken away, the jig is up on that one. It's either take a geology class that I don't want and don't need next quarter, or I'm out of a $1000 for spring quarter. I've got to contact the the man in charge of the horticulture department's scholarship stuff and see if I can get funding for next quarter if I change my major. My sister is in the hospital, my mom still hasn't gotten a job, and between doing crappy on midterms and worrying about up coming ones, and, losing my lab partner in plant propagation.... I'm just about ready to scream, and scream very loudly. And there are other things, to be sure, but I can't think of them right now because I'm freaking out and not thinking properly. I have to go. I have to file out time sheets for the OPGC, the Learning Gardens and if I have time work at the Bio Sci. I didn't get to work but one day this week at the Learning Gardens and only two days so far at the BIO SCI. I'm picking up my hours there by going in today and coming in this weekend to wash pots and doing the watering. I'll probably do watering at OPGC. Almost all of my plans are ruined for this weekend because I have twice as much home work as what I thought that I would have. Because I forgot my phone at home, and my medicine that I spent a ridiculous about of money on...I've been running late for everything today and look/sound/feel like shit.
Okay, I'm done with my pity party, I just had to vent. Sorry to fill your friends list with my shit.
Okay, I'm done with my pity party, I just had to vent. Sorry to fill your friends list with my shit.