Eyes Looking Back (HP)
“Lovegood, Luna,” the Deputy Headmistress calls out from the list and the little blonde girl in her, as of yet, unaffiliated school robes skipped up to stool. She showed no reaction to the people who murmured as she went by - pointing at her butterbeer cork necklace and colorful socks. (Trading whispered comments about her surname.)
She just calmly climbed upon the stool and waited for Professor McGonagall, who with a stern face but gentle eyes, placed the old Hat upon her head.
The two sat there quietly for a few moments, other than the occasional surprised hum from the Sorting Hat - Luna made no move to ask any question, least she interrupt the process. Finally though, it said to her, “You are a deeply observant and curious little girl. You can either use that ability to further knowledge or for your own personal gain.”
“I am sorry to disagree with you, Mr. Hat. But if what I have seen while following my Father is any indication, knowledge and personal gain are rarely strictly separate things,” Luna said kicking her feet against the stool's rungs.
The Hat twitched a bit in surprise at this response. “Oh, I do like you girl,” it said chuckling.
“My name is, Luna,” she corrected him again matter of factly. “And I think I’ll call you Jeffery - if you don’t mind of course. Only, it seems awfully impersonal to refer to the sentient magical construct you speak to as Mr. Hat - and Mr. Sorting Hat just sounds a tad pretentious.”
“Most of the people I come into contact with call me the Sorting Hat,” it said, well aware that Deputy Headmistress was giving him side glances for how long this was taking (and quite amused to let it go on for even longer exactly because of that).
“Well, that is just rude,” she said her face scrunching up with indignation at just the idea of people treating him badly.
“Well Luna dear, I do have to Sort you,” Jeffery, the Sorting Hat said with actual reluctance.
“Of course,” she said fiddling with her necklace, “where do you think I would be most suited?” Luna asked her tone of voice making it seem as if she were inquiring about the weather.
“I shall pass that question back to you - for it is a choice,” this bit of knowledge, that not many knew, was also said casually to the little girl who only hummed in response.
“Well…,” she considered in her sing-song voice, pulling up her legs to sit cross legged on the stool in front of the school. “My mother was a Gryffindor and Daddy was a Hufflepuff - so, perhaps somewhere different? Either Ravenclaw or Slytherin?” her smile turned just a bit sly. “That was what you were implying before were you not, Jeffery?”
The Hat laughed loudly again. “Ah, a clever one - and you are right, of course. But, the more we talk I believe, out of the two, you would be suited to RAVENCLAW!” the last was bellowed.
And at the yell, McGonagall swiftly pulled the Hat off Luna’s head and pointed her in the direction of her House - eager to get on to the next child. The Ravenclaws were looking a bit uncertain of this new addition, but were clapping politely, none the less.
But the two were not yet finished with their conversation. “Be sure to stop by for some tea,” the Hat said, just loud enough for Luna to hear over the noise. The noise had quickly died down thought so it’s next words were heard clearly by all. “I’ll just tell the Headmaster to scram for half an hour so we can talk. It might be his office but it’s my bedroom,” the folds of leather scrunched up even more when it grumbled and at the head table Dumbledore had chosen the wrong moment to have a sip of pumpkin juice and snorted with laughter while drinking - causing him to cough while still giggling. (Which just made him look crazier than people rumored him to be at times.)
Luna, appeared utterly oblivious to all of this though. “Of course, Jeffery,” she said. “Perhaps I can interview you for the Quibbler - I’m sure you’ve had a fascinating life. And those lovely songs you make up…..”
“Ms. Lovegood, please sit with your House,” the Deputy Headmistress said sternly, trying to bring order.
Luna turned her head a blinked up at the woman. “Of course,” she said as if there had never been a question that she would, then turned curtseyed to Jeffery the Sorting Hat (who made an approximation of a bow in return), and demurely skipped over to her table.
**
"You are friends with those not of your species?"
The question was asked of her even before the previous scene was gone from Luna's mind.
"I am," she responded simply, still trying to blink away the candlelight.
"And I am sorry but you must be able to tell anyway that this is distracting me - but are you a male, female or genderless?" Luna burst out. "I have been referring to you mentally as male but I fear now that might be insulting," she bit her lip (at least mentally) as she waited for the answer.
But amusement was evident from her companion in both the connection to her mind and in the way the tentacles curled and shook.
"As I am the last of my kind, it hardly matters," was the response given.
"Well, I certainly think it does matter," Luna insisted crossing her legs and put her chin in her hand (again she wondered at the realness of the feeling. The way her body moved, how her hair tickled her neck; even knowing full well that this was all just in her mind). "If you do not wish to tell me - or are indeed genderless, I apologize for pushing. But if not, I do not understand. If you are the last, why not be yourself?” she asked earnestly.
There was a long pause, but Luna did not feel if she had said something out of turn - she would be able to tell if the Giant Squid was angry with their minds connected so, instead the being was contemplative and perhaps a bit hopeful.
"I am female," she said eventually.
"And do you have a name?" Luna asked patiently, noticing as she did that the words seemed to have a lag, that things were coming slower now. Looking down, she stretched her hand and watched it’s movements with a distant worry burrowing inside of her.
"I forgot my original name long ago,” many limbs moved unhappily at this admission, distracting Luna again. "So I named myself: Opalia,” she murmured almost as if it was not worth saying, like she was a bit embarrassed.
“It is a good name to choose - it sounds like the gem,” Luna said as strongly as possible while she was starting to feel so distant and vague, “as I am of the moon.”
"Will you be my friend as well, Luna?" Opalia asked, and she could feel nervousness from the giant squid (mixed with such hope and sadness - heavy heavy loneliness. So many years of loneliness.)
"Of course I will," Luna replied - why ever would she not?
And this time the touch seemed accidental (she could feel Opalia's surprise as well), it was an absentminded sort of caress, like touching someone on the shoulder when you are heartfelt saying thanks.
But, it didn't matter, they still toppled into memory.
**
"…and the ingredients you gather should be stored in a cool dry environment………," he intoned blandly, this lecture as familiar to him as the back of his hand. Snape was almost bored with it himself and wasn’t surprised to see some students hiding yawns as they jotted down notes.
It was almost startling when a hand shot up and seeing it’s owner, he didn’t even resist giving a sigh of annoyance which made much of the class duck it’s head so as not to incur any wrath just by being in the way. But if he was to go on, he would have to call upon her.
“Yes, Ms. Lovegood,” he said crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows - almost disappointed that this had no effect on her, she even smiled at him a bit instead of being the least bit quelled.
“Professor, are referring to materials that are already dead?” she asked.
“Of course, Lovegood. We won’t be working with live materials until Fifth Year Potions,” he told her, turning away, glad that it was done with and he could continue.
“But Professors what about live creatures? The ones that are stored for future use? Would a living being be negatively affected by abrupt changes in temperature or being kept in low temperatures for a prolonged period?' she asked watching him, her quill held loosely in her hand.
He studied the girl, intrigued by her questioning, despite himself. "It is always best to keep live beings in a habitat as similar to their natural one as possible. If the creature is harmed by it’s environment prior to the time it is needed, there are many potions and spells that - if it is found and treated soon enough - could revive it immediately. But I fear, Ms. Lovegood,” he ended his smirk firmly in place again that you are asking questions in the wrong, forum. I am not your Care of Magical Creatures Professor, in case you failed to notice while you were busy looking out into space."
Some of the other students giggled nervously but there was no effect on Luna who continued to stare at him with her large silver eyes. "I know who you are Professor Snape," she said guilelessly, "and I asked because I trust your judgement more than most educators I have encountered within this school."
And there was a weight to her words (as well as a compliment) that left him feeling almost ashamed at what he had said to her. Snape ignored it and walked back to the front to finish the days lesson.
**
Opalia pulled back startled.
"No. No, no no no," she cried, many arms waving wildly.
Luna murmured comfortingly and tried to reach out to calm her new friend but found she could not move. She was so very heavy - and now, oh now she was starting to feel the cold.
“If you are to be my friend. And you are - I do not doubt your intent," the Giant Squid assured. "But I must not keep you here. You will not survive, you are not built for it as I am."
"I will visit you," Luna made sure to get out, although it was now difficult to speak.
And she felt a surge of surprise and joy from Opalia (Did she think Luna would forget her so soon? Friends were important). "We will just make it on the bank next time then, Luna, hmm?" the squid joked happily.
And with that she moved swiftly - a tentacle wrapped securely around Luna and she was yanked not into memory but out -
**
-out through the re-frozen ice and propelled (as gently as you can toss a person) from the Lake and onto the snow covered ground. Shivering and stunned by the cold and abrupt landing, her clothes drenched through and quickly freezing in the unforgiving cool air, Luna’s body again blacked out.
****
"Poppy!" Severus Snape yells as he enters the Infirmary.
“Well, that was loud,” the girl in his arms murmurs - and he was actually a bit surprised she had regained consciousness, let alone aware of her surrounding.
"Severus," the nurse proclaimed bustling in, wearing a thick night robe, her face set in disproving lines, "what is the matter - you'll wake half the castle.."
"I told the Professor he was being loud," Luna murmured, at that moment, and Severus felt vindicated when the nurse gave a start when she noticed the bundle in his arms.
She bustled forward and the girl's head lolled in the direction of the older woman - after a moment she frowned. "Where's your hat Ms. Poppy? I’ve always liked your hat."
"Oh dear, your soaking wet," the nurse fretted, ignoring the comment, her wand already at work.
"She was next to the Lake, soaking wet, freezing cold, and delirious when I came upon her Poppy," Severus reported, dutifully. "I did warming spells and some of the general charms you’ve taught me over the years but I’m worried about frostbite. The temperatures dropped extremely low this evening and I do not know how long she has been out there like this."
She nodded to him, showing she had heard before turning back to the girl. "Don’t worry dear, we’ll get you to rights."
"You should get your hat back Ms. Poppy. Hats have ancient magic," the girl said seriously.
She frowned worriedly at her patient's words and Snape just snorted. "It is hard to tell if she is delirious or if it is just Lovegood," he muttered, adjusting his hold on her.
"Severus," Poppy chided, glaring at him. "Get her on the cot, I have work to do."
Keeping his mouth shut, he set her down and backed away, watching as the nurse set some clothing and potions upon the side table before waving her wand so that the privacy curtains sprang up.
He should have just left then - but something stopped him.
Because he had been inside of the castle, in his rooms (warm and out of that biting cold) and just known that he had to get out and look for something outside now. New exactly where to go find the Lovegood girl even, felt a distinct pull on his mind to do so. A cry for help, that was not human - and Severus had gone to investigate, needing answers to whatever could reach out and touch the shields in his mind in this way.
When he found Luna Lovegood, completely drenched and half-frozen in the snow, babbling about Giant Squids, mental bonds, and loneliness some of the puzzle pieces had fallen into place in a disconcerting way. They thought the creature in the lake was benign, but any knowledge that was once actually known about it had been long lost.
And this was only some of the puzzle pieces, after all. Some - not all.
Severus wanted to see the whole picture.
A few minutes go by before the curtian is moved, and Poppy seems surprised that he is still there. He raises an eyebrow blandly but she is not one to be intimidated by such tactics and stares back.
"I wish to speak with the girl," he concedes.
"Ms. Lovegood, is asleep now," she tells him. "And when she wakes up, her body will still need lots of rest," she warns.
"I'll wait," he says flopping down into a chair, his dark robes flaring out dramatically for a moment. She stares at him for a beat before sighing, shaking her head, and walking away.
When she is gone, he turns and looks at the girl. She looks young and innocent - so very tiny. He thought the same when he first saw her out there, lips blue with cold and possibly damaged by a mental link to a strange creature.
It was then almost a protective instinct that caused him to raise his wand then to pull the memory from her - but somehow she seemed to sense this silent movement and her eyes snapped open and the sharpness in those always dreamy orbs stopped him cold.
“I would like to remind you sir, that I am a minor and tampering with my mind without both a warrant from the Aurora’s office and my parent’s consent is subject to time in Azkaban. Furthermore, of more concern to myself, outside of the legal consequences, it would trip off an instant alert to my Father who is working on an important story at the moment and I would be displeased if he were to be pulled away from it,” there was no fear evident at having a wand pointed at her. In fact, he wasn’t entirely surprised by her response, for such an eccentric girl, Luna’s confidence and sense of self always seemed utterly solid (often in the face of much public ridicule) but that too was a Lovegood trait if he remembered correctly. And she had never feared him, unlike many students, only viewed him with a sort of vague curiosity one does an interesting creature.
“The memories in your mind of recent events do not seem like pleasant ones,” he said seriously, watching the small girl carefully - mentally making a note to remind Albus of this and ignoring the threat she had made with a passive face (although he did slide his wand back into the holster in his sleeve). In the end he had little doubt that the Headmaster would come to the same conclusions of what was best for the girl’s continued mental health (which was already suspect at times, although that was somewhat understandable given her past. He hadn’t been close with Selene but they had worked together on a few occasions, been almost friends) - and the old man could be quite a bit more subtle than he. And, as such, Luna might miss his tampering - but some form of mental ward (which he found himself curious of but hesitant to question given both her fragile state and the oddity often involved in Lovegood affairs) would probably still go off. And that was an added unpleasantness the school certainly didn’t need.
“And that is for you to decide?” was her rebuttal and it brought his mental wanderings to a halt. At his surprised silence she sighed and shook her head - a mannerism that reminded him of Fillius dealing with a troublesome student. She glanced down for a moment and smoothed out the cots comforter across her legs absentmindedly before looking back up at him in that unblinking way. “Why should you get to make such choices for me, Proffessor? Why should anyone? Why should you ever enter my mind at all unless you would like me inside of your own? You should not go looking if you don’t expect someone else to be looking back, after all,” the twelve year old girl chided him gently, her head tilted just a bit to the side so that her still drying hair fell off her shoulder - and he felt significantly unnerved by those blue-grey eyes that seemed as if they knew far too much.
About him, about whatever was in that lake, about everything.
“You went looking,” he blurted - half statement, half accusation. Then flushed in embarrassment, angry with himself for his lack of filter but felt he had to explain now. “This evening in the Lake.”
“I was,” she agreed readily.
“And did you expect something to be looking back?” he threw her words back at her, perhaps a bit more mockingly than necessary, crossing his arms over his chest to mask his discomfort.
She merely stared at him, before smiling slowly and said, “I did.”
“And Professor, the memories, the experience. Some of it might have been scary - but most of it wasn’t. Much of my life has been like that. But you see, the important part is, it’s mine. These things that happen, that I do, that I think, that I say - they are me now, all bits and parts that make up Luna."
"Please don’t try to steal a piece of me, Professor. I’m afraid I would never feel quite the same again," she finished her plea.
He gave a start then, as something occurred to him, "The question you asked while in my class - it was for that blasted squid."
"Now don’t be silly, Professor," the girl even giggled at him as she shook her head. "It wasn’t. It was about me."
"What?" he almost yelled, only remembering at the last moment to regulate his voice so he wouldn't have an angry medical professional after him.
"I knew if this happened, that you would be the one to find me, you see. Your mind would logically be the one within Opalia's reach," Luna smiled at him patiently as she explained this.
"How did you know I would..," he started to ask, ignoring the name for the beast, but she interrupted him - a shrewd look on her face that seemed out of place.
"I know that you do not respect my Father’s work Professor, but perhaps remember that he is a journalist. I am well aware of much of what went on during the War, and as such what skills certain Death Eaters often employed. You were very well known for your Legimius and Occulamency."
At his silence she continued on with her previous point. "What I had needed to make sure, was that when you found me, you would know what to do. That you knew how to quickly care for someone suffering from the cold in time to get me to Poppy."
He was simply staring for a long time. "You planned this," he said in an oddly clear tone, surprising himself. Severus didn’t know if he wanted to yell at her or simply leave, but he knew he wasn’t calm inside.
"I did," Luna agreed with a nod her smile turning a bit mischievous. "Jeffery - the Sorting Hat," she explained, "offered to put me in Slytherin, you know."
"Why?" he finally got out. "Why do this at all?"
She seemed genuinely surprised by the question. "Because Opalia was alone, Professor. The last of her kind and she was all alone. I wished to meet her - become her friend if I could. Isn't that reason enough?"
And Severus wanted to yell at the girl, wanted to shake her and tell her not to throw her life into a frozen Lake just to make friends with a squid - but he just couldn't. There was something so genuine about this girl, not saccharine, but pure. (And there was so little actual purity in this Wizarding World, unrelated to blood, that he had almost lost his sense of the word.)
He did not wish to be the one to taint that, to pile onto the legions that already mocked her for daring to be so wholly herself. What would the use be?
"Don't do it again," was all he said, as sternly as possible, before sweeping out.
And Luna called out, Thank you, Professor!" in her sing-song voice, as the doors closed behind him.