i think i really need to take some pills for what i have

[wishiwascool]

and that would be depression, or maybe i need to see someone. some more crazy person that i'll have to pay like 100$ an hour just to figure outs whats wrong with me, and then i'll have to start taking like prozac or something, and then the'll tell me that i need to connect with ppl and stop staying at home, to get out, call wendy back, go out on a date. but i cant do thos things. its like what im feeling now. i want to clean my room, i know i need to but im not. im on here. i put in a cd and i just cant do it. i hate being alone. i lock the door when my mom leaves because im to afraid that somethings going to happen, and i cry most of the time. i mean i tell people that i dont like talking about my problems, and i dont. id rather write them, in all of my bad spelling, its just so much easyer then telling someone face to face. i guess sometimes i just need to get it out. have it down somewhere.

why cant i feel comfortable?
why cant i make friends?
why do i care?