In my heart there'll always be a place for you,for all my life
Im warning you first,this might not be the most pleasant entry. so if you dont want to deal with a lot of emotional stuff,stop reading.
its really,really starting to sink in about college,now that im leaving in two weeks. it never felt like it would actually happen but now it does and its a huge reality check. I cant believe that in just two weeks im leaving EVERYTHING behind and pretty much starting my life over,the way i see it. I can't imagine not living at home and not being around my family and friends. i really can't. I met Sarabeth and her bf for lunch today and she gave me my graduation present. I havn't seen her allll summer! that makes me even more sad. i miss when we were little kids and spent the whole summer together back in the old neighborhood and swimming at her grandparents everyday. She gave me a really nice photo album and on the front its engraved "Allison and Sara", underneath that "sisters at heart" then under that " 1986, the year we met. yes and the year we were born. Easily the best graduation gift i got. I wanted to cry when i read the card too. Not because it was extremely sappy or anything,but it was just nice and sweet and i cant' believe how fast 18 years have gone by. And it hit me when we were there that this could be the last time i see my childhood best friend for quite awhile. I know we dont see each other a lot anyways,but just knowing that shes not too far away is more comforting i guess. She really is more like a sister than anything else and i love her to death! When we were standing there and saying good-bye after,i didnt want to leave,and i didnt want her to leave. it was a weird feeling.
I can't even fathom how hard its going to be to say good-bye to everyone right before i leave.
When people ask me the past few days how im doing,i say good but the truth is i'm doing good and bad. At the same time. I'm happy with my life overall, i have tons of fun w/my friends, but all this stuff is creeping up again to make me feel this way. and college isnt helping it. I think I know what it is but I dont think anyone else does. i dont even know if anyone would even guess and theres not too many people i would tell. I guess thats it for now. I dont know how to explain anything else.
it felt good to get that out though