You want so desperately to be alone, but at the same time you fear it so much

[wishfulxth1nker]

badda bing badda boom. im really bored. haha. i wonder how many times i've said that in all my journal entries. i was so bored iwent back and read every journal entry i wrote up till like july cause then after that i got too bore of reading it . i just realized that i changed alot. and i look back and theres so many mistakes ive made; so many rash comments i made. about the mistake.. theres a mistake thats more than just something i regret.. its as if its haunting me. he was right. i am miserable. and now i dont know what to do. im trying so hard to just forget about that mistake and realize it would be more of a mistake to keep on weeping over past mistakes; isnt going to make things better. its not about the past anymore. its about whats happening now. but for some reason i just keep thinking about the past. i wish i didnt. i know i just made like no sense there but to me i made sense. anyways. i just got back from the orthodontist. i got some new brace on one of my teeth. it hurts like a bitch, also including where they cut a quarted of the bottom of my mouth, the fucking bitch. ghfidhdisidurjeghkgnerthutu934hg3hjdfhd. ok im going to go exchange gifts with katie now. later.

heather__xx

i just want someone..

no i lied. i want him.