(no subject)
so much to say...
First of all i fucking hate my mom. that stupid bitch can fucking ram a screw driver in her haed and i wont care. she doesnt know how to paretns and i told her that. im not the only one that thinks that my parents dont know how to paretn. she got super upset with me, but in a bitcy way. i cant wait till im outta this hell whole.
i hate her. and him... fuck them
anyways
sometimes i care so much about this. other times its just like wow, im stupid its nothing. it may be nothing, it may be something, but i do no it bothers me. ever since this whole ting somehow got brought up its all i can think of. he talks about her alot. to me. he asked if it bother me, i said it didnt.. well it didnt, untill he wouldnt drop it. and when i read his jouranl... its like i dont exist. i try so hard ot make him happy. im sorry im not funny or whatever he wants in a girl, but i do try. i try hard. its suppose to be me and him, not him and her. i knwo they went out for a long time, but they broke up. i dont know everthing that happened but i know enough. may be. idk. i need to talk to him about it but i dont want to. god! im done writing and trying to explain myself. if i sound like a bitch, awsome, im a bitch. i dont want to talk about it anymore or try n explain what i cant say.
so yea i went to Als last night. I drank and got a little tipsy, not realy drunk. i had like 15 cigarettes, and i dont think ill ever be able to smoke one ever again. not that thats bad at all. everyone passed out or left around 3. me and al didnt go to bed till like 4. we talked alot and he was drunk. what a fun time.
well last night was kinda fun. it was fun befor we drank. as soon as we started to i just kinda quieted down and kept to myself and though alot. brian puked everywhere. haha he told me not to tel anyone or hed end my life. i love that kid. steph got fucked up 2. mrs sabin was there and she was fun. i drank like 2 daqueris and 2 sumn else's. it tasted like soda whatever it was. steph n meg got a cab home. brian and me went for a walkto wegamns n downtown after he woke back up frm eing passed out for like 3 hours. he stole some little girls bike haha and rode it down the road and put it on chris mikes car. i took it off an put it across the street. theyll find it.
chris mike went to take al to work n me n brian waited for like an hour for him to get bak. we tlaked to DJ. hes a cool kid. i like him. we talked about alot of things. he said sumn about me having alot of hate in me or something. i dont think i do but may be. we tlaked about laura and kaleigh. he asked if i hated them i said yea and he asked why. i guess i hate them bc i know theyll get STDs its just a matter of time. Brian said it might even take an STD for them to relize what theyr doing. dj said sumn about how there young and will learn. hes right, they will, i hope, but like brian said it may take an std for them to relize what their doing.
anywasy we waited and hour and chirs mike never came back. he was our ride. we founf him outside in his car sleeping bc he didnt want to walk back up the stairs. haha he gave us a ride home and i slept most of the day.
i dont know whats goin on tongiht but i dont feel like doing much. if i talk to joe i dont know whats gunna hppen. like i said i may be making a bigger deal about this than it is. but it doesnt feel like it. just one look at his journla and i want to cry. ill be alright, fine and happy, then i look at it.. and yea.
well this is getting long. to sum it up yesterday was a pretty awsome day and im doing it more often. im upset about certain things that may or may not be worth getting upset over, and i want to be with my friends.
Steph n brian, last night made me relize how much i love you 2. your like my family. thancks for everything.
alright. whatever.
First of all i fucking hate my mom. that stupid bitch can fucking ram a screw driver in her haed and i wont care. she doesnt know how to paretns and i told her that. im not the only one that thinks that my parents dont know how to paretn. she got super upset with me, but in a bitcy way. i cant wait till im outta this hell whole.
i hate her. and him... fuck them
anyways
sometimes i care so much about this. other times its just like wow, im stupid its nothing. it may be nothing, it may be something, but i do no it bothers me. ever since this whole ting somehow got brought up its all i can think of. he talks about her alot. to me. he asked if it bother me, i said it didnt.. well it didnt, untill he wouldnt drop it. and when i read his jouranl... its like i dont exist. i try so hard ot make him happy. im sorry im not funny or whatever he wants in a girl, but i do try. i try hard. its suppose to be me and him, not him and her. i knwo they went out for a long time, but they broke up. i dont know everthing that happened but i know enough. may be. idk. i need to talk to him about it but i dont want to. god! im done writing and trying to explain myself. if i sound like a bitch, awsome, im a bitch. i dont want to talk about it anymore or try n explain what i cant say.
so yea i went to Als last night. I drank and got a little tipsy, not realy drunk. i had like 15 cigarettes, and i dont think ill ever be able to smoke one ever again. not that thats bad at all. everyone passed out or left around 3. me and al didnt go to bed till like 4. we talked alot and he was drunk. what a fun time.
well last night was kinda fun. it was fun befor we drank. as soon as we started to i just kinda quieted down and kept to myself and though alot. brian puked everywhere. haha he told me not to tel anyone or hed end my life. i love that kid. steph got fucked up 2. mrs sabin was there and she was fun. i drank like 2 daqueris and 2 sumn else's. it tasted like soda whatever it was. steph n meg got a cab home. brian and me went for a walkto wegamns n downtown after he woke back up frm eing passed out for like 3 hours. he stole some little girls bike haha and rode it down the road and put it on chris mikes car. i took it off an put it across the street. theyll find it.
chris mike went to take al to work n me n brian waited for like an hour for him to get bak. we tlaked to DJ. hes a cool kid. i like him. we talked about alot of things. he said sumn about me having alot of hate in me or something. i dont think i do but may be. we tlaked about laura and kaleigh. he asked if i hated them i said yea and he asked why. i guess i hate them bc i know theyll get STDs its just a matter of time. Brian said it might even take an STD for them to relize what theyr doing. dj said sumn about how there young and will learn. hes right, they will, i hope, but like brian said it may take an std for them to relize what their doing.
anywasy we waited and hour and chirs mike never came back. he was our ride. we founf him outside in his car sleeping bc he didnt want to walk back up the stairs. haha he gave us a ride home and i slept most of the day.
i dont know whats goin on tongiht but i dont feel like doing much. if i talk to joe i dont know whats gunna hppen. like i said i may be making a bigger deal about this than it is. but it doesnt feel like it. just one look at his journla and i want to cry. ill be alright, fine and happy, then i look at it.. and yea.
well this is getting long. to sum it up yesterday was a pretty awsome day and im doing it more often. im upset about certain things that may or may not be worth getting upset over, and i want to be with my friends.
Steph n brian, last night made me relize how much i love you 2. your like my family. thancks for everything.
alright. whatever.