When I bother to post, it's a WHIRLWIND of ideas. Sometimes.
So the week of Vividcon in Chicago, I'm in San Diego (y'know, weeks after ComicCon). Life, eh?
But I'm here for a conference, and considering I've been cramming for a workshop I'm taking tomorrow I am entirely justified in taking Tuesday off to sightsee and hang out and learn my way around this city. I've walked a little bit of the area around my hotel and will definitely need to do more, but on a day when I've not been up since oh god-thirty and gotten more than five hours sleep and aren't shaking from too much travel.
(September. I'm holding out for September, the month in which I will NOT get on a plane and NOT go to a city further than 90 minutes away by car. That is my plan for September and probably October. It sounds glorious right now, which is an indication that I have done way, way too much traveling this spring & summer.)
But doing my readings for tomorrow's workshop, it reminded me how I secretly kinda maybe want to do forensic science instead of this public history gig. (You would be surprised how much of the theory crosses over, really, starting with chain of custody and ending with authenticity and trust.)
Looking Both Ways: Bisexual Politics by Jennifer Baumgardner was a really good, but frustrating, read for me. She frames female bisexuality of the late 20th and beginning 21st centuries from a feminist perspective, discussing second wave feminists turning to each other for the kind of supportive relationships they need, amongst other topics. And it all sounds good and resonates for me in a lot of ways--I mean, fandom is that supportive, sharing community for me that I at least matured if not grew up in, and having that community I think has really helped me because hey, I don't think my own sex is stupid and irrationally jealous of every other woman out there all the time--but, at the same time, she spends most of the book skirting the fact that sexuality is, at least in some part, who the hell you're attracted to, at the base and heart of it. And whether you're attracted to men, or women, or both, or people who would subscribe to neither gender or sex...there *is* political choice involved, I think there always is (there certainly is in my own choices, or decisions to evade choices), but at the end of the day the individual choice is going to be based upon whether you're somehow attracted to the other specific person or people.
I've tried to explain my thoughts on the subject to the boy and to my best friend and mostly had to flail inarticulately. But Baumgardner also spends some of the book discussing the unfinished revolution of feminism and how men still aren't in a place where they can provide the kind of supportive, emotionally-fulfilling relationships women need, so they still have to turn to other women for those relationships, and--that bugged me as a sweeping generalization against men. Also, YOU CAN'T EXPECT ONE PERSON TO FULFILL ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS. That's why you have a community. That's why you turn to multiple people when you need support. That's why I'm writing about this here, in this space, because it feels safe to me to do so.
One thing she stated that I liked (though I'm not sure about her phrasing), regarding relationships, is that perhaps more people are having gay expectations about relationships--that women are turning to men but demanding equality from men in their relationships with them. That resonated with me. I've worried a lot in the past few months about copping to heternormative expectations and performances, and I'm pretty damn sure I've managed to avoid doing that by being me and holding to my expectations from any kind of involvement with another person. (There's something to be said for embarking on relationships when you're older and more aware of yourself, I really do think.)
In any case, the book's given me a lot to think about and reminded me, once again, that I miss a truly academic environment. Maybe I'm ready to go back to school after all?
Um, I didn't quite expect to write that tonight. Oops? But hey, I got my reading done for tomorrow, I know where I'm going tomorrow morning, and I've had dinner and a shower. Life is good.
But I'm here for a conference, and considering I've been cramming for a workshop I'm taking tomorrow I am entirely justified in taking Tuesday off to sightsee and hang out and learn my way around this city. I've walked a little bit of the area around my hotel and will definitely need to do more, but on a day when I've not been up since oh god-thirty and gotten more than five hours sleep and aren't shaking from too much travel.
(September. I'm holding out for September, the month in which I will NOT get on a plane and NOT go to a city further than 90 minutes away by car. That is my plan for September and probably October. It sounds glorious right now, which is an indication that I have done way, way too much traveling this spring & summer.)
But doing my readings for tomorrow's workshop, it reminded me how I secretly kinda maybe want to do forensic science instead of this public history gig. (You would be surprised how much of the theory crosses over, really, starting with chain of custody and ending with authenticity and trust.)
Looking Both Ways: Bisexual Politics by Jennifer Baumgardner was a really good, but frustrating, read for me. She frames female bisexuality of the late 20th and beginning 21st centuries from a feminist perspective, discussing second wave feminists turning to each other for the kind of supportive relationships they need, amongst other topics. And it all sounds good and resonates for me in a lot of ways--I mean, fandom is that supportive, sharing community for me that I at least matured if not grew up in, and having that community I think has really helped me because hey, I don't think my own sex is stupid and irrationally jealous of every other woman out there all the time--but, at the same time, she spends most of the book skirting the fact that sexuality is, at least in some part, who the hell you're attracted to, at the base and heart of it. And whether you're attracted to men, or women, or both, or people who would subscribe to neither gender or sex...there *is* political choice involved, I think there always is (there certainly is in my own choices, or decisions to evade choices), but at the end of the day the individual choice is going to be based upon whether you're somehow attracted to the other specific person or people.
I've tried to explain my thoughts on the subject to the boy and to my best friend and mostly had to flail inarticulately. But Baumgardner also spends some of the book discussing the unfinished revolution of feminism and how men still aren't in a place where they can provide the kind of supportive, emotionally-fulfilling relationships women need, so they still have to turn to other women for those relationships, and--that bugged me as a sweeping generalization against men. Also, YOU CAN'T EXPECT ONE PERSON TO FULFILL ALL YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS. That's why you have a community. That's why you turn to multiple people when you need support. That's why I'm writing about this here, in this space, because it feels safe to me to do so.
One thing she stated that I liked (though I'm not sure about her phrasing), regarding relationships, is that perhaps more people are having gay expectations about relationships--that women are turning to men but demanding equality from men in their relationships with them. That resonated with me. I've worried a lot in the past few months about copping to heternormative expectations and performances, and I'm pretty damn sure I've managed to avoid doing that by being me and holding to my expectations from any kind of involvement with another person. (There's something to be said for embarking on relationships when you're older and more aware of yourself, I really do think.)
In any case, the book's given me a lot to think about and reminded me, once again, that I miss a truly academic environment. Maybe I'm ready to go back to school after all?
Um, I didn't quite expect to write that tonight. Oops? But hey, I got my reading done for tomorrow, I know where I'm going tomorrow morning, and I've had dinner and a shower. Life is good.