(no subject)
It's not as if New York City burned down
to the ground once you drove away.
It's not as if the sun won't shine
when clouds up above wash the blues away.
So she was done.
What she wanted, what Eden really wanted right then, was to make the jukebox stop now that it had started. Other people got love songs and other songs, equally ridiculous, and she'd never wanted them, but she'd waited for them anyway and they'd never come.
It wasn't like she believed in signs. Well, maybe she did, a little, but mostly she believed in doing things. When life was as short as it was, when she'd once had everything she wanted for the asking, she saw no cause to sit and hope and wait to be told by some whim of the world or carried along by fate or anything equally improbable. She had no intention of taking the word of something inanimate and sadistic when it came to her life, but it had still started to bother her.
Nine and a half months and now it played for her and she wanted it to stop, because it shouldn't have meant anything, but it did.
To tell the truth, she'd surprised even herself in breaking up with Brodie. It had been, perhaps, a long time coming, and it would have been a lie to say that she hadn't been wondering and weighing her options for some time, but there hadn't come a point of certainty, a moment of decision, until it was happening and there was no turning around or taking it back. She didn't think she wanted to anyway. Something had changed, something had gone away, and in a moment, she'd made up her mind.
It hurt, somehow both more and less than she'd expected, but she wasn't sorry. She wasn't quite relieved, but something in her had relaxed, like exhaling when she hadn't even known she'd been holding her breath, and now she was done. She was done, and the music wouldn't stop, and while she could always just leave the room, she realized she didn't know where to go. Instead she stood and she listened and she waited to feel - she didn't know what. Something. She waited to feel something.
Did your heart break enough?
Did it break enough this time?
Ooh, it feels good to be free.
to the ground once you drove away.
It's not as if the sun won't shine
when clouds up above wash the blues away.
So she was done.
What she wanted, what Eden really wanted right then, was to make the jukebox stop now that it had started. Other people got love songs and other songs, equally ridiculous, and she'd never wanted them, but she'd waited for them anyway and they'd never come.
It wasn't like she believed in signs. Well, maybe she did, a little, but mostly she believed in doing things. When life was as short as it was, when she'd once had everything she wanted for the asking, she saw no cause to sit and hope and wait to be told by some whim of the world or carried along by fate or anything equally improbable. She had no intention of taking the word of something inanimate and sadistic when it came to her life, but it had still started to bother her.
Nine and a half months and now it played for her and she wanted it to stop, because it shouldn't have meant anything, but it did.
To tell the truth, she'd surprised even herself in breaking up with Brodie. It had been, perhaps, a long time coming, and it would have been a lie to say that she hadn't been wondering and weighing her options for some time, but there hadn't come a point of certainty, a moment of decision, until it was happening and there was no turning around or taking it back. She didn't think she wanted to anyway. Something had changed, something had gone away, and in a moment, she'd made up her mind.
It hurt, somehow both more and less than she'd expected, but she wasn't sorry. She wasn't quite relieved, but something in her had relaxed, like exhaling when she hadn't even known she'd been holding her breath, and now she was done. She was done, and the music wouldn't stop, and while she could always just leave the room, she realized she didn't know where to go. Instead she stood and she listened and she waited to feel - she didn't know what. Something. She waited to feel something.
Did your heart break enough?
Did it break enough this time?
Ooh, it feels good to be free.