*Looks around despritly for hope*
hope never leaves you.... YEAH RIGHT... right now i have no hope for myself and i dont mean with school... i mean with men... im pritty AND YET i still cant find a boyfriend(maby thats a good thing i dont really no) but its just hard to have hope for something like that. i just want to know what makes me so unapealing... i mean ever sence last year i have never not been myself... bc last year something hit me that said... "Tracy you are who you are exept that and things will come easely" maby thats just it i dont know who i am... maby im pretending to be someone im not but how do u know if your pretending if u dont even know who you are? its a hole comlicated mess that i have been thinking about WAY to much lately. i just wish that u where givin a card that told u how to find yourslef... bc when i was that shy little girl i didnt havea luck with anything, but know that im that loud cutes girl im still not haveing any luck. i mean i dont pretend to not get things, most of the time im really dont get it, i dont pretend to like to sing i really do like it, i dont pretend to like danceing i really do love it, and i dont pretend to be me bc everyday i wake up with the hope that i am me and im not someone elce, when all elce fails u look within yourslef... myslef has failed... i have lost most of my close friends... and i all alone. im not saying i dont have friends bc i do but kaitlynn is the only one that knows me and we dont really hang out a lot. everyone elce i have just met in the past few years i need someone my age who hasnt already gone throw this self bougt bc it dosnt help if u have someone who has already experiend it bc then they just tell u its just a pase they went throw it 2
i really wish my life didnt go wrong the way it did bc now i have no one to confide in like i used 2 bc im not a book that everyone can read(although it seems that way) with me its shit that gose a lot deeper and its hard to explain. i have never really had a friend my hole life EVER it sucks 2 bc now "i have no one to hold on to at night in the cold" i just sit alone with me i and myself theres no one elce in my brain and now im comeing to terms with it. a note for all of u if my grades start going up... u know i have givein up all hope on myslef bc when my grades go up it means im not haveing any fun
i really wish my life didnt go wrong the way it did bc now i have no one to confide in like i used 2 bc im not a book that everyone can read(although it seems that way) with me its shit that gose a lot deeper and its hard to explain. i have never really had a friend my hole life EVER it sucks 2 bc now "i have no one to hold on to at night in the cold" i just sit alone with me i and myself theres no one elce in my brain and now im comeing to terms with it. a note for all of u if my grades start going up... u know i have givein up all hope on myslef bc when my grades go up it means im not haveing any fun