wha!
Due to random road trips w/ Elisa, dirty versions of Sleeping Beauty being read w/ Elisa, and work with Elisa, its been awhile since I've posted.
Work is draining me, I feel wrecked. I make great money, but in the process my health seems to be faltering.
Jared stood me up twice this weekend. He had shit to do on Friday and came really late on saturday. Nothing new in that, he never showed up when we were together, why would he do it now. I even told him about Elisa and I reading erotica all day, thinking he'd clue in..;) and show up. But no, that didnt even work, and to make the night a little worse, I found out that he lied to me. How is it that you can love someone that hurt you so much.
I thought life was looking up, down it goes again, and I feel like shit.
I paid $8 to get into a show that blew chunks, two bands cancelled and it ended at 9:30. Needless to say, I was pissed.
I got to see Marcin and Shane and Blaine, that was an upside, I really needed it, had they not shown up, I dont know what I would have done.
I think that the friendship I had with Roy is also faltering. This may be my fault...no, Im sure it is. We used to have these awesome, random and fun conversations, and now its all just like....bleh.
Same with Ron, just not the same as it used to be.
I patched things up with Phil, we had a long talk, cleared the air. I feel better about that now.
I dont know....its a never ending feeling of despair. I've once again hit the downward spiral my life had become, and I think im getting used to it here. Almost enjoying it.
I, unlike other people I know...dont give a shit about making extensive plans for prom in the middleof february. But I do worry whether or not Im even going to have someone to go with, and somewhere to go with after. No one wants me anywhere, Im not friends with the right people I guess.
I think Im going to go to bed, now, wallow in self pity, and think about how empty my life seems to be getting.
Im going nowhere, I have nothing to live for.
Work is draining me, I feel wrecked. I make great money, but in the process my health seems to be faltering.
Jared stood me up twice this weekend. He had shit to do on Friday and came really late on saturday. Nothing new in that, he never showed up when we were together, why would he do it now. I even told him about Elisa and I reading erotica all day, thinking he'd clue in..;) and show up. But no, that didnt even work, and to make the night a little worse, I found out that he lied to me. How is it that you can love someone that hurt you so much.
I thought life was looking up, down it goes again, and I feel like shit.
I paid $8 to get into a show that blew chunks, two bands cancelled and it ended at 9:30. Needless to say, I was pissed.
I got to see Marcin and Shane and Blaine, that was an upside, I really needed it, had they not shown up, I dont know what I would have done.
I think that the friendship I had with Roy is also faltering. This may be my fault...no, Im sure it is. We used to have these awesome, random and fun conversations, and now its all just like....bleh.
Same with Ron, just not the same as it used to be.
I patched things up with Phil, we had a long talk, cleared the air. I feel better about that now.
I dont know....its a never ending feeling of despair. I've once again hit the downward spiral my life had become, and I think im getting used to it here. Almost enjoying it.
I, unlike other people I know...dont give a shit about making extensive plans for prom in the middleof february. But I do worry whether or not Im even going to have someone to go with, and somewhere to go with after. No one wants me anywhere, Im not friends with the right people I guess.
I think Im going to go to bed, now, wallow in self pity, and think about how empty my life seems to be getting.
Im going nowhere, I have nothing to live for.