fuck this shit.
i havent writen in this thing for ever but i have some shit on my mind i have to let it out.
thursday i babysat. i like baby sitting now. the lil girl doesnt hate me. and thats always good.
friday i went to the mall spent a lil bit of money and hung out. (it was a snow day. i dont like having snow days anymore. they are old news and the super intendent (sp?) need to releize when it snows u dont have to call a fucking snow day.) the mall was fun everyone was on a good mood. and i liked it. i felt a lil sick but i was fine. when i was in the food court at the mall i saw kate mante i was sooooo happy i was like yelling and flipping out. i love her. and she makes my problems blow away. we both need help and that what i like abuot her. shes not like everyone else. and i got new sunglasses. haha if u know me u know thta was coming.
saterday i went to boston with keele, holly amanda and daryl. that was sooo much fun i was a lil sad that tessa couldnt come but it was okay i love her and hope to take her there for christmas. i think that would be cute. but i got a ring and ear rings and umm like walked around i like to go to boston with no rentals or super vision. it was very freeing. well i got home and my brothers friends were home and i loove them but they left soon after then.
sunday i thoguht we were going to my aunts for a fake christmas dinner but we didnt i ended up going and i ended up getting into a fight with my mom. what is new. she hates me. no joke she wants me to like go away for a few years and come back when im older and i can take care of myself. but there is no way i can do that. truest me if i could i fuckin would. i would get out of here asap. i would miss my dad. hes alwasy been there for me and not yelled at me like she does. she flips out for nothing. everything i say or do pisses her off. so i dont talk to her anbd she calls me a bitch for fucking not talkinmg to her.%$#%$# o well.
im happy im going to camp this summer and that should be sooo much fun. so theres mary who needs help and other then that i dont have anything else other then im happy its almost christmas and almost over.
------- welll then theres alex. yup hes fucking back. i dont know how to let go. i need help. i keep thinking about him and dont know what to say to him when i do se him . i just go blank and shake. fuck this shit. i wanna sleep. but i cant i have work. fuck school. 4 days left. till a week off. hope to see some kids when they are home from college. well and no money for gifts YEEAAA PARTY.
speaking of parties avalons party this friday. yea just a nothing thing to worry about. people see me as a happy bright person. its not true. i get nevrvous just like everyone else. i dont know how to act so i act happy. my acting is really good no one knows. haha well i like it that way no one knows the real me. i dont even know the real me so who cares.
so this is my life. and i think if u have read this whole thing i should marry you. and carry your babies.
thursday i babysat. i like baby sitting now. the lil girl doesnt hate me. and thats always good.
friday i went to the mall spent a lil bit of money and hung out. (it was a snow day. i dont like having snow days anymore. they are old news and the super intendent (sp?) need to releize when it snows u dont have to call a fucking snow day.) the mall was fun everyone was on a good mood. and i liked it. i felt a lil sick but i was fine. when i was in the food court at the mall i saw kate mante i was sooooo happy i was like yelling and flipping out. i love her. and she makes my problems blow away. we both need help and that what i like abuot her. shes not like everyone else. and i got new sunglasses. haha if u know me u know thta was coming.
saterday i went to boston with keele, holly amanda and daryl. that was sooo much fun i was a lil sad that tessa couldnt come but it was okay i love her and hope to take her there for christmas. i think that would be cute. but i got a ring and ear rings and umm like walked around i like to go to boston with no rentals or super vision. it was very freeing. well i got home and my brothers friends were home and i loove them but they left soon after then.
sunday i thoguht we were going to my aunts for a fake christmas dinner but we didnt i ended up going and i ended up getting into a fight with my mom. what is new. she hates me. no joke she wants me to like go away for a few years and come back when im older and i can take care of myself. but there is no way i can do that. truest me if i could i fuckin would. i would get out of here asap. i would miss my dad. hes alwasy been there for me and not yelled at me like she does. she flips out for nothing. everything i say or do pisses her off. so i dont talk to her anbd she calls me a bitch for fucking not talkinmg to her.%$#%$# o well.
im happy im going to camp this summer and that should be sooo much fun. so theres mary who needs help and other then that i dont have anything else other then im happy its almost christmas and almost over.
------- welll then theres alex. yup hes fucking back. i dont know how to let go. i need help. i keep thinking about him and dont know what to say to him when i do se him . i just go blank and shake. fuck this shit. i wanna sleep. but i cant i have work. fuck school. 4 days left. till a week off. hope to see some kids when they are home from college. well and no money for gifts YEEAAA PARTY.
speaking of parties avalons party this friday. yea just a nothing thing to worry about. people see me as a happy bright person. its not true. i get nevrvous just like everyone else. i dont know how to act so i act happy. my acting is really good no one knows. haha well i like it that way no one knows the real me. i dont even know the real me so who cares.
so this is my life. and i think if u have read this whole thing i should marry you. and carry your babies.