I know, I know. *is distinctly disgruntled at having been told this for the umpteen-zillionth time* But still. When you spend three years straight as a hopeless antisocial with zero people skills, you fall into that big, scary, emotional black hole alarmingly often--you know, the one where you temporarily stop caring about anything at all and wish you'd just wake up one morning to find you'd never been born? Well, I felt like that today, for quite a bit longer than I usually do (the longest before this was about ten minutes, thankfully, but today it was almost all through the school day; Mr. Mack saved me with his comedy act. Nobody but nobody can make an Economics class as funny as he does). This feeling usually hits me while I'm in bed, staring at the ceiling with nothing at all to distract me from my troubled thoughts. As a result I've been somewhat sleep-deprived over the past few weeks (moreso than I usually am, I mean).
Maybe I should just hit myself over the head with a mallet every night a bedtime. That'd solve the problem nicely. *ponders this tempting idea*
Ugh. Did I say ten minutes? X_X Stupid, I meant an hour, but my sister chose that moment to tell me she'd be done with the shower in about ten minutes. -_-'
I've never been completely antisocial, because I have my little posse of studious asians to hang out with, but I've never been *popular* or very big on the social scene. I have a lot of classes where I don't have any friends, so when it's time to do group projects it can be extremely awkward, and I can understand why you might be unhappy. I would almost say, try to join a club or a team or something... but I know how difficult that can be when everyone seems to be in impenetrable cliques, and you feel awkward trying to join in. :-( Unfortunately, that's the way school is.
Two weeks ago, I was in my "extremely lonely" phase, when I was desperate for love and attention and feeling gloomy because I had no best friend or boyfriend, and everyone around me seemed to be so much more together than I was. But I snapped out of that, and now I'm in my "go away everyone" phase when I don't FEEL like talking or associating with people a lot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how you feel now it'll change soon.
Yeah. It'll change. Eventually...wisemandomingoNovember 20 2005, 16:23:39 UTC
...probably not 'til I'm through college, but...
And your example of shifting from "lonely" to "intentionally repellant" isn't particularly encouraging. It's like saying you're out of the frying pan, into the fire. One bad thing followed by something worse. As for me, I went from "intentionally repellant" to "lonely," but I spent almost a year being repellant and I've spent about three being lonely...
Maybe I should just hit myself over the head with a mallet every night a bedtime. That'd solve the problem nicely. *ponders this tempting idea*
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Two weeks ago, I was in my "extremely lonely" phase, when I was desperate for love and attention and feeling gloomy because I had no best friend or boyfriend, and everyone around me seemed to be so much more together than I was. But I snapped out of that, and now I'm in my "go away everyone" phase when I don't FEEL like talking or associating with people a lot. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how you feel now it'll change soon.
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And your example of shifting from "lonely" to "intentionally repellant" isn't particularly encouraging. It's like saying you're out of the frying pan, into the fire. One bad thing followed by something worse. As for me, I went from "intentionally repellant" to "lonely," but I spent almost a year being repellant and I've spent about three being lonely...
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