If this was a dictatorship i'd just shoot you right here then go on with my day
Lost: My "please let Kate get blown up" icon would have been better for this episode, but how can i miss a chance to use naked!Sayid?
--I want to stay at Locke's Bed & Breakfast too! Looks cozy.
--Here's a fashion tip, future!Kate: when you have ABSOLUTELY NO CURVES, do not wear super-loose shirts and wide-leg pants. You have the body of a 10yr-old boy.
--The whole time Miles is in that boathouse, zombie!Boone is giving him the whole story.
zombie!Boone: "So i die because i didn't want to deal with infection and physical therapy on Craphole Island, plus Sawyer making a whole list of pirate nicknames for me, and Jack somehow buries his brain with my body. I mean, he even started to believe he loved Kate because she's the closest there is to another pretty boy around. Soon after, i got my sister nagging me every minute aga--"
Miles: "God, i would rather someone shove a grenade in my mouth..."
--Sawyer and Hurley are the best roommates ever. ~Xaaanaduuuuu~
--If you even think you could be pregnant, boxed wine is not for you.
--Seriously? This is the story we're going to go with? Kate is the superhero, everyone loves her, omg she's such a saint to have saved us all? My god, the future sucks.
--Sun and Jin made an appearance in here somewhere. Sun was being a bitch like always. Jin misses his Orange Love Michael.
--Miles: "Gimme 3.2 Million dollars or i tell my people you're alive!"
Ben: "Oh right, sure, lemme just get my checkbook."
Kate: "I risked my ass for this?"
--Locke: "Kate, please GTFO of Lockeville now."
--Kate: [giggles and humps Sawyer]
The next morning
Kate: [kisses all over Sawyer]
Sawyer: [assumes it's time to get busy]
Kate: "OMG no, don't touch me! I'm leaving!"
Sawyer: "WTF? Okay fine. Bounce away for a few days, have a fight with Jack then bounce back to me, lather, rinse, repeat."
Kate: [FACE!]
Sawyer, why do you punish yourself? Remember the good ol' days where it was more likely you were getting it on with Sayid? Have you seen naked!Sayid? I'd like for you to reacquaint yourself with him.
--Miles: [grenade in mouth] NNNMMMNMGH!
Audience: O.O
--OMG the helicopter is (heh) lost! TPTB sent the hottest people on the island off in a helicopter to the twilight zone! How could you??
--Kate's going home to her baby whom we all assume is Sawyer's. Hell, it even has blond hair.
Kate: "blahblahblah, Aaron."
Audience: "OMGWTFBBQ!"
World: [shatters]
Eli Stone: Ya know, i'd love to have musical visions. Yeah, everyone would think you're insane, but it's like having your own personal broadway show. Meanwhile, i don't get all these fictional women who leave their coma husbands and feel justified because they waited some single-digit-years and were lonely. Lonely? Bitch, get a pet and a vibrator!
Yes, i am aware i'm heartless.
--I want to stay at Locke's Bed & Breakfast too! Looks cozy.
--Here's a fashion tip, future!Kate: when you have ABSOLUTELY NO CURVES, do not wear super-loose shirts and wide-leg pants. You have the body of a 10yr-old boy.
--The whole time Miles is in that boathouse, zombie!Boone is giving him the whole story.
zombie!Boone: "So i die because i didn't want to deal with infection and physical therapy on Craphole Island, plus Sawyer making a whole list of pirate nicknames for me, and Jack somehow buries his brain with my body. I mean, he even started to believe he loved Kate because she's the closest there is to another pretty boy around. Soon after, i got my sister nagging me every minute aga--"
Miles: "God, i would rather someone shove a grenade in my mouth..."
--Sawyer and Hurley are the best roommates ever. ~Xaaanaduuuuu~
--If you even think you could be pregnant, boxed wine is not for you.
--Seriously? This is the story we're going to go with? Kate is the superhero, everyone loves her, omg she's such a saint to have saved us all? My god, the future sucks.
--Sun and Jin made an appearance in here somewhere. Sun was being a bitch like always. Jin misses his Orange Love Michael.
--Miles: "Gimme 3.2 Million dollars or i tell my people you're alive!"
Ben: "Oh right, sure, lemme just get my checkbook."
Kate: "I risked my ass for this?"
--Locke: "Kate, please GTFO of Lockeville now."
--Kate: [giggles and humps Sawyer]
The next morning
Kate: [kisses all over Sawyer]
Sawyer: [assumes it's time to get busy]
Kate: "OMG no, don't touch me! I'm leaving!"
Sawyer: "WTF? Okay fine. Bounce away for a few days, have a fight with Jack then bounce back to me, lather, rinse, repeat."
Kate: [FACE!]
Sawyer, why do you punish yourself? Remember the good ol' days where it was more likely you were getting it on with Sayid? Have you seen naked!Sayid? I'd like for you to reacquaint yourself with him.
--Miles: [grenade in mouth] NNNMMMNMGH!
Audience: O.O
--OMG the helicopter is (heh) lost! TPTB sent the hottest people on the island off in a helicopter to the twilight zone! How could you??
--Kate's going home to her baby whom we all assume is Sawyer's. Hell, it even has blond hair.
Kate: "blahblahblah, Aaron."
Audience: "OMGWTFBBQ!"
World: [shatters]
Eli Stone: Ya know, i'd love to have musical visions. Yeah, everyone would think you're insane, but it's like having your own personal broadway show. Meanwhile, i don't get all these fictional women who leave their coma husbands and feel justified because they waited some single-digit-years and were lonely. Lonely? Bitch, get a pet and a vibrator!
Yes, i am aware i'm heartless.