yeah
lets just say lately I have no clue whats wrong with me....well I do know, it is just so hard to talk about what is on my mind...I get so scared of what people will think of me, if they know how fucked up I am in the head............it is like nothing or no one can fix my problems.........
lets see. I got caught smoking cigarettes yestaday........my parents wanted to know why I was smoking, and I told them that I am just so stressed and I can't control it.......the reasons of my stress they just over whelme..
I am stressed and depressed because, no matter what I do I never feel like I am good enough.....everything I do, even if it is a good job....some always finds a flaw........no matter what, and it kills me that I can never reach up to anyones expectations...........never
another thing is, my grandpa is dying of elzimers,I am so close to him.......wicked close.......and I know that I can't do anything to help him.....nothing at all, that fucking kills me inside more then anything.....it fucking hurts.....I can't do anything to help one of the people I care about more then anything.....no one knows how I feel inside...they all think I am so happy.....but I am afraid if people know how I really feel, they will just make me feel worse...........I just want to be normal...........happy.....and not have to deal with all this shit.....but I will never forget these feeling,and I just feel useless more and more everday.........I just wish that it will all dissapear.....I cry softly everynight.....the pain I feel inside it just builds up.....and I never let it go,,,,,so just by typing all this shit out I hope it makes me feel better...........and I hope people know the me, that people don'tk now........I hope the see the pain.....I do need help.........but no one can help me.......but I don't know I am just lost in all this confusion.
I have to go
I don't even care if any one posts comments
Me
lets see. I got caught smoking cigarettes yestaday........my parents wanted to know why I was smoking, and I told them that I am just so stressed and I can't control it.......the reasons of my stress they just over whelme..
I am stressed and depressed because, no matter what I do I never feel like I am good enough.....everything I do, even if it is a good job....some always finds a flaw........no matter what, and it kills me that I can never reach up to anyones expectations...........never
another thing is, my grandpa is dying of elzimers,I am so close to him.......wicked close.......and I know that I can't do anything to help him.....nothing at all, that fucking kills me inside more then anything.....it fucking hurts.....I can't do anything to help one of the people I care about more then anything.....no one knows how I feel inside...they all think I am so happy.....but I am afraid if people know how I really feel, they will just make me feel worse...........I just want to be normal...........happy.....and not have to deal with all this shit.....but I will never forget these feeling,and I just feel useless more and more everday.........I just wish that it will all dissapear.....I cry softly everynight.....the pain I feel inside it just builds up.....and I never let it go,,,,,so just by typing all this shit out I hope it makes me feel better...........and I hope people know the me, that people don'tk now........I hope the see the pain.....I do need help.........but no one can help me.......but I don't know I am just lost in all this confusion.
I have to go
I don't even care if any one posts comments
Me