top five lists
[No huge spoilers, I think, except maybe for BtVS S7 and CA Diaries]
For musesfool - Five Times CJ Pwns Everyone: [Most of these I made up, because I can't remember canon well enough.]
1. CJ always pwns everyone. She is TEHWIN.
2. "Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics," which I just watched.
3. High school debate team. (I am, in fact, writing this fic. It involves Elizabeth Weir and hatesex.)
4. Wherever two or three fangirls of a certain inclination are gathered...
5. When Weir and McKay come to D.C. to brief her on the Pegasus Expedition. (I am also writing this fic. It, too, involves Elizabeth Weir and sex.)
For tsiankiio - Five Women Willow Never Expected to Sleep With
1. Kennedy. Because she never expected to sleep with anyone after Tara died, and definitely not someone like Kennedy.
2. Fred. When they first met and Willow turned her down, Willow was sure this was the great road not taken of her life, and she never expected to get another chance.
3. Buffy. Willow was so convinced that Buffy was straight that she didn't even begin to fantasize about her; when they did sleep together it was the biggest surprise of Willow's life.
4. Cordelia Chase. 'Nuff said.
5. Dawn. And to be honest, she'd rather not think about it now, either.
For likeadeuce - Five Things Alexis Does To Annoy Joss That Joss Secretly Likes
1. He sings "Once More With Feeling," very off-key, very early in the morning.
2. He accidentally-on-purpose calls Joss "Aly."
3. He slips into character in the bedroom. (Actually, I don't think Joss's enjoyment of this is a secret anymore.)
4. He looks over Joss's shoulder when Joss is writing, and offers helpful commentary.
5. He demands the starring role in everything Joss writes. Even Especially Wonder Woman.
For mari4212 - Five Stories [I] Will Never Write.
[I've been asked this before. For Sage_theory, I listed five stories I'd never finish. For alixtii, I listed five kinds of fic that I wouldn't write. Here are five stories I'd like to write, but don't have the skills to.]
1. Long and plotty Firefly fic, Kaylee/Inara, based on Showboat.
2. Long and plotty Stargate/Atlantis fic, McKay/Weir, with subtle characterization that covers many years and lots of emotional development.
3. BtVS and West Wing crossover, CJ/Tara, in which it isn't entirely obvious that I'm writing my own fantasies.
4. Harry Potter AU, McGonagall/Hermione, in which Hermione is not friends with Ron and Harry.
5. Long and plotty (are you sensing a theme?) Farscape fic, Scorpius/Braca, again with the slow emotional build, plus lots of canonically plausible worldbuilding about life as a Peacekeeper.
Yes. I really wish I could write all those things!
For carla_scribbles - Five things Teyla will never, ever let anyone know she knows.
1. Exactly how Ronan feels.
2. Hunger.
3. How to get anyone on base into her bed in five seconds flat.
4. How to take over Atlantis.
5. That they aren't the first explorers to have tried.
noelia_g asked for five things Rodney doesn't tell Elizabeth. This made me squirm happily and is something I'm thinking about for "Rodney, Elizabeth, and Their Hopeless Emotional Inadequacies," so I won't list them now.
malnpudl asked for five favorite lines from my own stories. Unfortunately, in thinking about this, most of my favorite lines -- at least that I can remember -- are the last lines of stories, not twists exactly, but definitely punchlines. And I found myself flailing to think of any lines at all from most of my stories -- let alone other people's. Sorry!
Three for escritoireazul:
Five Things Dawn Schafer Did During High School She Regrets.
1. Letting Jill out of her life.
2. Fighting so much with Sunny about things that really didn't matter.
3. Freaking out so much when Ducky came out.
4. Having that long conversation with Maggie about food and addiction and their mothers and pressure and future plans that, finally, ended their friendship when Dawn tried to give Maggie some advice that Maggie didn't take very well.
5. Eating a hot dog on a dare.
Five Things Dawn Did During High School She Doesn't Regret
1. Going to The Party that night. It was a mistake, but it was the best mistake she ever made, and she has two lifelong friends as a result.
2. Likewise, going to the Jax concert. She was grounded for a weekend, but she'll remember the concert for the rest of her life.
3. Telling Mary Anne the truth.
4. Letting Sunny kiss her. (Just once, though.)
5. Beginning to babysit again.
Five People River Will Never Meet From Other Fandoms But Should:
1. McKay (SGA)
2. Illyria (AtS)
3. Trance (Andromeda)
4. Xavier (Marvel)
5. Drusilla (Buffyverse)
And three for alixtii
Five Secrets River Will Tell For the Right Price:
[My brain failed me! I don't know why!]
Five Secrets Giles Will Never Tell at Any Price:
1. Any of Buffy's weaknesses, the ones inherent to her as a Slayer and the ones he knows from training her so long.
2. That Tara was bisexual.
3. All the other things that Ethan did that no one found out about.
4. What he discovered about Joyce during "Band Candy."
5. That Willow propositioned him as soon as they arrived in Bath after "Grave," and what his response was.
Five Things That Keith Wishes He Could Do For His Daughter, But Can't [the boring gen, PG-rated version]
1. Bring Leanne home.
2. Send her to college at the best school that will take her.
3. Bring Lilly back. (But not, like, in a crazy S6!Willow way.)
4. Make her not want to sleep with Logan. (In a gen way! Because Logan is really unhealthy and bad for her.)
5. Find a nice woman, marry, and settle down, and let Veronica live her own life without Keith feeling horribly abandoned and guilting her into staying because he needs her so much. *sigh* But in a gen way, I swear.
For musesfool - Five Times CJ Pwns Everyone: [Most of these I made up, because I can't remember canon well enough.]
1. CJ always pwns everyone. She is TEHWIN.
2. "Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics," which I just watched.
3. High school debate team. (I am, in fact, writing this fic. It involves Elizabeth Weir and hatesex.)
4. Wherever two or three fangirls of a certain inclination are gathered...
5. When Weir and McKay come to D.C. to brief her on the Pegasus Expedition. (I am also writing this fic. It, too, involves Elizabeth Weir and sex.)
For tsiankiio - Five Women Willow Never Expected to Sleep With
1. Kennedy. Because she never expected to sleep with anyone after Tara died, and definitely not someone like Kennedy.
2. Fred. When they first met and Willow turned her down, Willow was sure this was the great road not taken of her life, and she never expected to get another chance.
3. Buffy. Willow was so convinced that Buffy was straight that she didn't even begin to fantasize about her; when they did sleep together it was the biggest surprise of Willow's life.
4. Cordelia Chase. 'Nuff said.
5. Dawn. And to be honest, she'd rather not think about it now, either.
For likeadeuce - Five Things Alexis Does To Annoy Joss That Joss Secretly Likes
1. He sings "Once More With Feeling," very off-key, very early in the morning.
2. He accidentally-on-purpose calls Joss "Aly."
3. He slips into character in the bedroom. (Actually, I don't think Joss's enjoyment of this is a secret anymore.)
4. He looks over Joss's shoulder when Joss is writing, and offers helpful commentary.
5. He demands the starring role in everything Joss writes. Even Especially Wonder Woman.
For mari4212 - Five Stories [I] Will Never Write.
[I've been asked this before. For Sage_theory, I listed five stories I'd never finish. For alixtii, I listed five kinds of fic that I wouldn't write. Here are five stories I'd like to write, but don't have the skills to.]
1. Long and plotty Firefly fic, Kaylee/Inara, based on Showboat.
2. Long and plotty Stargate/Atlantis fic, McKay/Weir, with subtle characterization that covers many years and lots of emotional development.
3. BtVS and West Wing crossover, CJ/Tara, in which it isn't entirely obvious that I'm writing my own fantasies.
4. Harry Potter AU, McGonagall/Hermione, in which Hermione is not friends with Ron and Harry.
5. Long and plotty (are you sensing a theme?) Farscape fic, Scorpius/Braca, again with the slow emotional build, plus lots of canonically plausible worldbuilding about life as a Peacekeeper.
Yes. I really wish I could write all those things!
For carla_scribbles - Five things Teyla will never, ever let anyone know she knows.
1. Exactly how Ronan feels.
2. Hunger.
3. How to get anyone on base into her bed in five seconds flat.
4. How to take over Atlantis.
5. That they aren't the first explorers to have tried.
noelia_g asked for five things Rodney doesn't tell Elizabeth. This made me squirm happily and is something I'm thinking about for "Rodney, Elizabeth, and Their Hopeless Emotional Inadequacies," so I won't list them now.
malnpudl asked for five favorite lines from my own stories. Unfortunately, in thinking about this, most of my favorite lines -- at least that I can remember -- are the last lines of stories, not twists exactly, but definitely punchlines. And I found myself flailing to think of any lines at all from most of my stories -- let alone other people's. Sorry!
Three for escritoireazul:
Five Things Dawn Schafer Did During High School She Regrets.
1. Letting Jill out of her life.
2. Fighting so much with Sunny about things that really didn't matter.
3. Freaking out so much when Ducky came out.
4. Having that long conversation with Maggie about food and addiction and their mothers and pressure and future plans that, finally, ended their friendship when Dawn tried to give Maggie some advice that Maggie didn't take very well.
5. Eating a hot dog on a dare.
Five Things Dawn Did During High School She Doesn't Regret
1. Going to The Party that night. It was a mistake, but it was the best mistake she ever made, and she has two lifelong friends as a result.
2. Likewise, going to the Jax concert. She was grounded for a weekend, but she'll remember the concert for the rest of her life.
3. Telling Mary Anne the truth.
4. Letting Sunny kiss her. (Just once, though.)
5. Beginning to babysit again.
Five People River Will Never Meet From Other Fandoms But Should:
1. McKay (SGA)
2. Illyria (AtS)
3. Trance (Andromeda)
4. Xavier (Marvel)
5. Drusilla (Buffyverse)
And three for alixtii
Five Secrets River Will Tell For the Right Price:
[My brain failed me! I don't know why!]
Five Secrets Giles Will Never Tell at Any Price:
1. Any of Buffy's weaknesses, the ones inherent to her as a Slayer and the ones he knows from training her so long.
2. That Tara was bisexual.
3. All the other things that Ethan did that no one found out about.
4. What he discovered about Joyce during "Band Candy."
5. That Willow propositioned him as soon as they arrived in Bath after "Grave," and what his response was.
Five Things That Keith Wishes He Could Do For His Daughter, But Can't [the boring gen, PG-rated version]
1. Bring Leanne home.
2. Send her to college at the best school that will take her.
3. Bring Lilly back. (But not, like, in a crazy S6!Willow way.)
4. Make her not want to sleep with Logan. (In a gen way! Because Logan is really unhealthy and bad for her.)
5. Find a nice woman, marry, and settle down, and let Veronica live her own life without Keith feeling horribly abandoned and guilting her into staying because he needs her so much. *sigh* But in a gen way, I swear.