bad ficlet: Jack/Daniel
meyerlemon suggested that everyone post hir worst fanfic.
Here's mine. It's so bad, it's in FIRST PERSON. (Which is totally fine if you're an awesome author and can pull it off, but I'm not and have NO grasp of Jack's voice.)
I changed the header a bit and edited some grammar stuff, but the rest of the fic is intact. I wrote it about two minutes after "Fallen" aired.
Title: Sappiness
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Spoilers:through "Fallen"
Warnings:Total, utter, gratuitous sap. Language.
Summary: Err, Jack has boundary issues.
"Everyone turn away. I want no witnesses." I'm going to murder the man, Daniel, if he is Daniel under the layer of not-Daniel. "No, go on, turn." So they do. Humoring me. I haven't been myself since he's been here-not remembering. "I haven't been myself since I met you." How true. He's looking at me with half a grin on his face. I raise a warning finger. I will slap him. They're still all looking in the other direction, knowing I'm nuts and he's not himself and soon they'll call in the medics. I beckon. He leans forward, a little too eager to please, definitely not my Daniel. I wonder if Oma's ever met a quantum mirror.
He remembered Sha're and he remembered that he belongs on SG-1 and so I have hope-he will remember us. Me. Everything. I let him come, close enough, a quick check to see that they're all still pretending I've got a shred of sanity, then kiss him. Briefly. He opens to me, automatic response, like he's half-expecting we have orgies in the briefing room on a regular basis and this isn't the least bit unusual. He tastes like Daniel. I want him to taste like someone else; that would make it easier to understand why he doesn't remember anyone, not even me. But the taste is as familiar as the thick, solid SGC coffee sludge I bet he's missed so much.
He looks at me and I shoot him a look that says, "Don't you dare say a word, we'll talk later." And even though he's still not sure what my name is, he gets the message and I read his response-"You fucking asshole. There'd better be a damn good explanation for this or I will SO kick your ass."
"Is it safe now, Colonel?"
"Yes, sir, mission accomplished."
"Good. Now can we continue with the briefing, people?"
"Yes, sir."
I catch Daniel's eye and I know he's Daniel. Because somewhere deep inside, behind that false good humor and the awkward reawakening of memories, I hear him saying, "Jack, I'll kill you if you ever kiss me in public again--but I do love you. You know that--right?"
Yes.
***
*bows head in shame*
Here's mine. It's so bad, it's in FIRST PERSON. (Which is totally fine if you're an awesome author and can pull it off, but I'm not and have NO grasp of Jack's voice.)
I changed the header a bit and edited some grammar stuff, but the rest of the fic is intact. I wrote it about two minutes after "Fallen" aired.
Title: Sappiness
Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Daniel
Spoilers:through "Fallen"
Warnings:Total, utter, gratuitous sap. Language.
Summary: Err, Jack has boundary issues.
"Everyone turn away. I want no witnesses." I'm going to murder the man, Daniel, if he is Daniel under the layer of not-Daniel. "No, go on, turn." So they do. Humoring me. I haven't been myself since he's been here-not remembering. "I haven't been myself since I met you." How true. He's looking at me with half a grin on his face. I raise a warning finger. I will slap him. They're still all looking in the other direction, knowing I'm nuts and he's not himself and soon they'll call in the medics. I beckon. He leans forward, a little too eager to please, definitely not my Daniel. I wonder if Oma's ever met a quantum mirror.
He remembered Sha're and he remembered that he belongs on SG-1 and so I have hope-he will remember us. Me. Everything. I let him come, close enough, a quick check to see that they're all still pretending I've got a shred of sanity, then kiss him. Briefly. He opens to me, automatic response, like he's half-expecting we have orgies in the briefing room on a regular basis and this isn't the least bit unusual. He tastes like Daniel. I want him to taste like someone else; that would make it easier to understand why he doesn't remember anyone, not even me. But the taste is as familiar as the thick, solid SGC coffee sludge I bet he's missed so much.
He looks at me and I shoot him a look that says, "Don't you dare say a word, we'll talk later." And even though he's still not sure what my name is, he gets the message and I read his response-"You fucking asshole. There'd better be a damn good explanation for this or I will SO kick your ass."
"Is it safe now, Colonel?"
"Yes, sir, mission accomplished."
"Good. Now can we continue with the briefing, people?"
"Yes, sir."
I catch Daniel's eye and I know he's Daniel. Because somewhere deep inside, behind that false good humor and the awkward reawakening of memories, I hear him saying, "Jack, I'll kill you if you ever kiss me in public again--but I do love you. You know that--right?"
Yes.
***
*bows head in shame*