sgwun for the very first time: "Reckoning 2"
[spoilers for "Reckoning part 2" and, um, rumors for "Threads"? I haven't seen "Threads" yet (and please don't spoil in the comments!) but I think I have vague spoilers. If so, they're kind of there. Yeah.]
Teaser: Sam, Jacob, and Jack at a meeting. In which Jack says, "let me sit here and state the obvious," and then proceeds to state the obvious. Can't let flabatnum get into Anubis's hands or Replicarter's hands, need to find it, not just nuke the planet (and Jack was so hoping that plan would work), Jack sends Sam and Jacob off to go find the weapon while he sits around and says "ambitious" without Daniel there to provide the tenor part. Meanwhile, presumably, Replicarter is having semi-consensual mind sex with Daniel? Please?
Act 1: Decarra? Bare Teal'c arms. Decarra is a home of the ancients. "Fifth Race" ref... "I brought Daniel's notebooks." Yes, because, that always works. All the knowledge in the galaxy is contained in Daniel's notebooks.
Mmm, bare Sam arms. And Bra'tac!
More exposition! Jaffa refusing to sacrifice each other! That one Jaffa looks kinda familiar. Mmm, Bra'tac.
"The sacrifices we have made for our cause will end today, one way or another. This day will decide the fate for all Jaffa."
Mmmm, mindsex! Man, I love Replicarter. She's so hot. SO HOT. And she wants Daniel's brain. Mmm, this scene is making me drool.
"I have to admit, it does sound interesting." I think I agree with Daniel here. OHMYGOD SO HOT. Replicarter, I mean. And Sam/Daniel.
"In fact, we have only just begun."
Okay. Let's see. How hot is this? This is SO HOT. Replicarter wants to help Daniel extract the ancient knowledge buried in his mind, which is the thing Daniel wants most in the entire world. And she's inside his frelling brain and he's... ohhhh, sex.
Also, Sam+Daniel in the tent hearkens back to "Was there ever anything between us?" which... oh, GAH. This is my NEW OTP!!!!1111!!!! Daniel/Replicarter. It's like Sam/Daniel and Replicarter/Sam and Daniel/Oma all in one. All right.
Act 2: Selmak and Sam (supersekrit incestuous OTP) "Three days to the chicken." Hee.
"If there is an organizing principle to Daniel Jackson's system, I have yet to discover it." Hee. And yet more fanon becomes canon.
"It would become much easier on both of us if you did not resist." OMG. They are so playing it as sexual. *headdesk* All right, to clarify? Rape? Not sexy. But evil genius Sam seducing Daniel with her sexy leather pants and her evil, evil brain? SO HOT. In a really wrong way.
Mmm, Daniel is the SNARK.
"Her thoughts, her memories, even her emotions..." SUBTEXT. So much. Ohhhhh.
Aaand we're back to the incest. Hmmm. Are they going to stand on their heads? Oh. I see. Rotating props. Special. *headdesk* Can we get back to the incest? Combination locks? Not sexy? Though reminiscent of "Serpent's Venom."
Yay! Baal! Err! Did CJ just go an octave too high? SCARY. We've seen this scene a thousand times. Baal threatens. Teal'c says yay Jaffa! Sam has sexy arms. The wall opens and....
Indiana Jones time! Errr, is it a sarc? Is it a tomb? Is it a weapon? Is it the SGC?
Is it Jack and Walter playing cards? It is! Wow! There are RDA's 30 seconds of screentime!
Ohhh, shiny, it's a widescreen TV. And a really, really powerful weapon.... that they can't destroy because they could use it to kill the hot clone Replicarter.
"It appears things are about to get... bad." Ah, Bra'tac. I love thee so.
"You know, you blow up one sun, and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water." "Next step, parting the Red Sea." WEIRD. Sam=God refs... related to Replicarter's megalomania?
Bra'tac's voice also sounds weird.
Baal plans to kill Bra'tac and Teal'c, who is still the sholva.
Is all tech in this 'verse powered by pushing stone blocks up and down? And crystals? Yeah, I thought so. Eep? Dial all of the gates simultaneously.... Huh. Well. That's the randomness. Eh? FELGER? Are they going to ... or Baal? Probably Baal, not Felger. But still, referring back to "Avenger 2.0."
Teal'c puts all his cards on the table, but then, he does have a point.
Ohhh, the inside of Daniel's brain is SHINY. Hmm... yanno what? Replicators? Shiny. I want that much storage space. I mean, minus the evil part. Probably.
Baal has a ... strange relationship with Jack. "The mere thought of him makes me sick."
"No one's trying to deny that we're mortal enemies here. Can you do it, or not?" Heeee! Love Sam.
The fuck? Baal has cooperated with them before. Where does the random pointless misogyny come from?
Act 3: Eep! Unscheduled offworld activation... Jack! Walter! Reps? I bet it's Reps. Yep! Itttt's reps! Scary, nasty little buggers. "Let's go Walter. Get out of here."
See, this is the kind of thing Jack is good at. Oddly. But spur of the moment? And anti-reps? And none of his team on base? This is good.
The frell? Where is Daniel's anti-robot bias coming from? Daniel? Have you stolen Jack's bias? Daniel, you knew Reese. You loved Reese. You cried at her death.
Eeee, Siler/Jack OTP!
Eh? Heeee! "Danny's world"!!!!!! And yet, fandom failed to explode! Over a canon "Danny"?! I mean, uh, look! Plot!
"How do you know?"
"I'm a God. Gods are all-knowing." Hee! Yay Baal. And his actor... that smirk... I almost love him.
"Use two of those things. It's a 'blast door'" Heee! Jack! Using air quotes! OMG! *snicker*
Explosions!
Awwwwww! Jack/Siler OMG OTP TOUCHIES AND "I expect to be put in your will." "Already in it." !!!!!!!
Aaand reps.
And a fleet of Replicator ships. And Sam's wedding is in how many minutes?
*sighs* Okay, so... is Replicarter gonna die? 'Cos I don't want Replicarter to die. But I guess that's the end of the season... except the other huge new-parter. Okay, stop speculating, Ari, and watch the frelling episode.
Mmmmm! Baal's "Good luck!" That was SO CUTE. I want to watch him in some none evil role now. Yanno? And, to echo Jacob, "That was just creepy."
Hm. Odd. They keep cutting back to the Jaffa + Teal'c after the reps-on-earth bit... and they've split the team into four. That's not so cool. So... they figure out just in the nick of time how to dial the gates, they destroy all the reps on Earth, and Replicarter (nooooooo!) and then they're all safe? Except for a hot S/D tag scene?
Awww... I love Replicarter/Daniel! They're so... they're so! And Jack! Oh, that was too hot. Daniel stopping the reps-on-earth with the power of his mind, and Jack and.. Reynolds?... are all "that's odd." *shrug* *go back to shooting things* Hee!
Act 4: Awww, yay Daniel! YAY DANIEL! He stopped all the replicator ships! And the reps. And yay! "There are so many, aren't there?" Hee. Scary sword thingie? Or really bad CGI? You decide. And I'm sure they killed Daniel. Really.
Okay, there goes the CGI budget for S9. ... reused footage! Purple world! From FiaD! And the world from P+P, and... Okay, I don't recognize all of them.
And Daniel is dying, but still really pretty, and Replicarter is about to die, but also really pretty.
Cue dramatic music, cue Jack and Sam shooting things, cue Daniel dying, cue really big-ass weapon, cue replicators being destroyed evvvvverywhere! (I miss Reese.)
Okay... how are they going to get out of this one? Meaning, the Daniel is dead from Replicarter thing? Plus, yay, Sam and Jacob! OTP! Is Sam in tears? Heee!
"It is in fact you who are surrounded... by free Jaffa!" OhmyGod, was that... was that 'Nubis in Baal's body, or....? And yay Jaffa! And yay Jack/Sam flirtiness!
OHEEEEEE! Thor is not teh_dead! He'll visit them when he gets another new body. For SQUEE! "That just never gets old, does it?"
Awww... they remembered Daniel! But they don't know anything. And Sam is all... tragic-i-fied. And Daniel-wanting. And Jack's all... sad paper-work doing... and awwwwwwwwww!
Clifffffff! They did a cliff! Oh my God I so don't deserve another episode now since that one was so good, but Daniel is still all dead, and we didn't see Replicarter die; she might have recalibrated first, and... *crosses toes*
So, er, "Threads" is the wedding episode? Or something? If so, they've got a damn lot of 'splaining to do...
Teaser: Sam, Jacob, and Jack at a meeting. In which Jack says, "let me sit here and state the obvious," and then proceeds to state the obvious. Can't let flabatnum get into Anubis's hands or Replicarter's hands, need to find it, not just nuke the planet (and Jack was so hoping that plan would work), Jack sends Sam and Jacob off to go find the weapon while he sits around and says "ambitious" without Daniel there to provide the tenor part. Meanwhile, presumably, Replicarter is having semi-consensual mind sex with Daniel? Please?
Act 1: Decarra? Bare Teal'c arms. Decarra is a home of the ancients. "Fifth Race" ref... "I brought Daniel's notebooks." Yes, because, that always works. All the knowledge in the galaxy is contained in Daniel's notebooks.
Mmm, bare Sam arms. And Bra'tac!
More exposition! Jaffa refusing to sacrifice each other! That one Jaffa looks kinda familiar. Mmm, Bra'tac.
"The sacrifices we have made for our cause will end today, one way or another. This day will decide the fate for all Jaffa."
Mmmm, mindsex! Man, I love Replicarter. She's so hot. SO HOT. And she wants Daniel's brain. Mmm, this scene is making me drool.
"I have to admit, it does sound interesting." I think I agree with Daniel here. OHMYGOD SO HOT. Replicarter, I mean. And Sam/Daniel.
"In fact, we have only just begun."
Okay. Let's see. How hot is this? This is SO HOT. Replicarter wants to help Daniel extract the ancient knowledge buried in his mind, which is the thing Daniel wants most in the entire world. And she's inside his frelling brain and he's... ohhhh, sex.
Also, Sam+Daniel in the tent hearkens back to "Was there ever anything between us?" which... oh, GAH. This is my NEW OTP!!!!1111!!!! Daniel/Replicarter. It's like Sam/Daniel and Replicarter/Sam and Daniel/Oma all in one. All right.
Act 2: Selmak and Sam (supersekrit incestuous OTP) "Three days to the chicken." Hee.
"If there is an organizing principle to Daniel Jackson's system, I have yet to discover it." Hee. And yet more fanon becomes canon.
"It would become much easier on both of us if you did not resist." OMG. They are so playing it as sexual. *headdesk* All right, to clarify? Rape? Not sexy. But evil genius Sam seducing Daniel with her sexy leather pants and her evil, evil brain? SO HOT. In a really wrong way.
Mmm, Daniel is the SNARK.
"Her thoughts, her memories, even her emotions..." SUBTEXT. So much. Ohhhhh.
Aaand we're back to the incest. Hmmm. Are they going to stand on their heads? Oh. I see. Rotating props. Special. *headdesk* Can we get back to the incest? Combination locks? Not sexy? Though reminiscent of "Serpent's Venom."
Yay! Baal! Err! Did CJ just go an octave too high? SCARY. We've seen this scene a thousand times. Baal threatens. Teal'c says yay Jaffa! Sam has sexy arms. The wall opens and....
Indiana Jones time! Errr, is it a sarc? Is it a tomb? Is it a weapon? Is it the SGC?
Is it Jack and Walter playing cards? It is! Wow! There are RDA's 30 seconds of screentime!
Ohhh, shiny, it's a widescreen TV. And a really, really powerful weapon.... that they can't destroy because they could use it to kill the hot clone Replicarter.
"It appears things are about to get... bad." Ah, Bra'tac. I love thee so.
"You know, you blow up one sun, and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water." "Next step, parting the Red Sea." WEIRD. Sam=God refs... related to Replicarter's megalomania?
Bra'tac's voice also sounds weird.
Baal plans to kill Bra'tac and Teal'c, who is still the sholva.
Is all tech in this 'verse powered by pushing stone blocks up and down? And crystals? Yeah, I thought so. Eep? Dial all of the gates simultaneously.... Huh. Well. That's the randomness. Eh? FELGER? Are they going to ... or Baal? Probably Baal, not Felger. But still, referring back to "Avenger 2.0."
Teal'c puts all his cards on the table, but then, he does have a point.
Ohhh, the inside of Daniel's brain is SHINY. Hmm... yanno what? Replicators? Shiny. I want that much storage space. I mean, minus the evil part. Probably.
Baal has a ... strange relationship with Jack. "The mere thought of him makes me sick."
"No one's trying to deny that we're mortal enemies here. Can you do it, or not?" Heeee! Love Sam.
The fuck? Baal has cooperated with them before. Where does the random pointless misogyny come from?
Act 3: Eep! Unscheduled offworld activation... Jack! Walter! Reps? I bet it's Reps. Yep! Itttt's reps! Scary, nasty little buggers. "Let's go Walter. Get out of here."
See, this is the kind of thing Jack is good at. Oddly. But spur of the moment? And anti-reps? And none of his team on base? This is good.
The frell? Where is Daniel's anti-robot bias coming from? Daniel? Have you stolen Jack's bias? Daniel, you knew Reese. You loved Reese. You cried at her death.
Eeee, Siler/Jack OTP!
Eh? Heeee! "Danny's world"!!!!!! And yet, fandom failed to explode! Over a canon "Danny"?! I mean, uh, look! Plot!
"How do you know?"
"I'm a God. Gods are all-knowing." Hee! Yay Baal. And his actor... that smirk... I almost love him.
"Use two of those things. It's a 'blast door'" Heee! Jack! Using air quotes! OMG! *snicker*
Explosions!
Awwwwww! Jack/Siler OMG OTP TOUCHIES AND "I expect to be put in your will." "Already in it." !!!!!!!
Aaand reps.
And a fleet of Replicator ships. And Sam's wedding is in how many minutes?
*sighs* Okay, so... is Replicarter gonna die? 'Cos I don't want Replicarter to die. But I guess that's the end of the season... except the other huge new-parter. Okay, stop speculating, Ari, and watch the frelling episode.
Mmmmm! Baal's "Good luck!" That was SO CUTE. I want to watch him in some none evil role now. Yanno? And, to echo Jacob, "That was just creepy."
Hm. Odd. They keep cutting back to the Jaffa + Teal'c after the reps-on-earth bit... and they've split the team into four. That's not so cool. So... they figure out just in the nick of time how to dial the gates, they destroy all the reps on Earth, and Replicarter (nooooooo!) and then they're all safe? Except for a hot S/D tag scene?
Awww... I love Replicarter/Daniel! They're so... they're so! And Jack! Oh, that was too hot. Daniel stopping the reps-on-earth with the power of his mind, and Jack and.. Reynolds?... are all "that's odd." *shrug* *go back to shooting things* Hee!
Act 4: Awww, yay Daniel! YAY DANIEL! He stopped all the replicator ships! And the reps. And yay! "There are so many, aren't there?" Hee. Scary sword thingie? Or really bad CGI? You decide. And I'm sure they killed Daniel. Really.
Okay, there goes the CGI budget for S9. ... reused footage! Purple world! From FiaD! And the world from P+P, and... Okay, I don't recognize all of them.
And Daniel is dying, but still really pretty, and Replicarter is about to die, but also really pretty.
Cue dramatic music, cue Jack and Sam shooting things, cue Daniel dying, cue really big-ass weapon, cue replicators being destroyed evvvvverywhere! (I miss Reese.)
Okay... how are they going to get out of this one? Meaning, the Daniel is dead from Replicarter thing? Plus, yay, Sam and Jacob! OTP! Is Sam in tears? Heee!
"It is in fact you who are surrounded... by free Jaffa!" OhmyGod, was that... was that 'Nubis in Baal's body, or....? And yay Jaffa! And yay Jack/Sam flirtiness!
OHEEEEEE! Thor is not teh_dead! He'll visit them when he gets another new body. For SQUEE! "That just never gets old, does it?"
Awww... they remembered Daniel! But they don't know anything. And Sam is all... tragic-i-fied. And Daniel-wanting. And Jack's all... sad paper-work doing... and awwwwwwwwww!
Clifffffff! They did a cliff! Oh my God I so don't deserve another episode now since that one was so good, but Daniel is still all dead, and we didn't see Replicarter die; she might have recalibrated first, and... *crosses toes*
So, er, "Threads" is the wedding episode? Or something? If so, they've got a damn lot of 'splaining to do...