procrastination bliss, in the form of RPF.
Wistful's Exciting RPF Fantasy Adventure
Actual Heading:
Rating: PG-13, probably.
Explanation: So awhile ago wistful_fever said "maybe one day they'll be RPF about me. And there's canon knowledge about my sexuality, which means there could be GOOD RPF about me." This is RPF about Wistful. It is not good RPF, however. It's very, very badfic. It's not really poking at Wistful so much as it's poking at the tropes of badfic, especially the tropes of RPF/S. Sadly, this is the longest thing I've written in weeks. It is also method 276 to procrastinate writing my Katherine Philips paper.
Disclaimer: This is fiction. This is meta-fiction, actually, but in any event, I have no idea what Wistful does with her free time, but I bet it doesn't involve dragons. This is in no way intended to portray real life. This is written with love. All characters are totally fictional, and Wistful in real life is much cooler than she is in my story. (Ari Serena Silver Moonbird, however, is exactly like me, only with a stupider name.)
Summary: all the exciting stuff that happened to Wistful in the Land of Magic and Stuff Like That, and also some slash! I wrote this for my friend, so if there's any mistakes, don't yell at me!!!
Author's Notes: SOME PEOPLE on the wistful_rpf group said that Wistful would never, ever ship anything except Daniel/Sam! I think this fic will prove you all wrong!!! And this is so much better than the other fic on that community, which is why I don't go there a lot anymore, but everyone should read my fic anyhow because it's so good and it's all about love and happiness and stuff!
Disclaimer: Not mine!!! It's fiction, duh [but I think we all know that some of it is real, you know what I'm talking about, iluvwistful1204 ;) ] Anyhow, I don't own Wistful, but I do own all my original characters! And you better not take them like someone stole Wistful's girlfriend, Perfecta Pearl, from my last Wistful RPF fic!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
When Wistful came home from work, she was very tired. She knew she should go to bed, but instead, she turned on her computer. She needed slash! Specifically, she needed Jim/Blair slash. You see, Wistful had a rare condition called Slash Anemia and if she didn't have enough slash in her system, she would die!!! But when she went on the internet, she was shocked to find that even though there are approximately seventeen thousand slash stories in the Sentinel fandom, Wistful had read them all!!! Twice. Some, she had even committed to memory. This was clearly a tragedy. Of course, since Wistful was Brave and Heroic, she was willing to die. It was a small sacrifice to make for the greater good, and she only hoped that her tragic demise would be a valuable lesson for other slashers afflicted with Slash Anemia. And then people would post lots of Jim/Blair slash in honor of her death, and she kinda liked that idea. But just when she had written and posted her final goodbye in LiveJournal, her inbox was inundated with messages! People had commented on her entry! They said they loved Wistful very much and she didn't have to die just because the mean nasty slashers in the Sentinel fandom refused to write more fic. They said she could read other fic. All the Sam/Daniel shippers on her friends' list told her she should read that, but Wistful sighed sadly. She knew that het, even good het, would not fulfill her daily slash quota. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to die, but she didn't know what else she could do. She started to cry!!! Then, Wistful's bestest ever LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird (A.N. I know that sounds like a Mary Sue, but it's really not!!! That's her real name. I saw it in the wistful_rpf LJ community!!!] said, "Wistful, I know you don't ship like that, but why don't you read Jack/Daniel?"
Wistful was so grateful!!! She didn't know why she hadn't thought of that before, and was so glad her bestest ever LiveJournal friend had thought of it for her. She went to Area52 and was about to read a story, when suddenly, something happened!!! A dragon appeared right beside Wistful's computer!!! She was horrified and shocked and didn't know what to do. Not even her internet friends could save her now! She was on her own. She poked the dragon, and suddenly, she was transported to a parallel universe filled with dragons and unicorns and shiny things! The dragon put her on his back and transported her to his castle far away, and she was very tired. Remember, she still had Slash Anemia and she hadn't had a chance to read any pretty, pretty Jack/Daniel fic yet! Luckily, the dragon was a gay dragon, and he was taking her home to meet his Domestic Partner. Watching them kiss was enough to break the spell, and suddenly Wistful was back to her spunky, determined self. "HEY! Mr. Gay Dragon Man! You need to take me back to my house RIGHT NOW!"
"Okay," said the dragon, and suddenly there she was beside her computer again, with Area52 open on her Internet browser. Even though she didn't have Slash Anemia anymore [AN: actually, she still has it, but because she saw the dragons kiss and all, she's not going to die. But remember, she still has it, 'cause it will be important later!!!], she decided to read the Jack/Daniel fic. So she read all three thousand Jack/Daniel stories archived in Area52. And suddenly she was convinced of their True Wuv! She couldn't believe she had never seen it before! So she quit her job and sold all her belongings except her computer and devoted all her time to writing Jack/Daniel fic and making Jack/Daniel vids for her bestest ever LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird. Ari Serena Silver Moonbird was so happy and joyous that Wistful was making so much slash.
Then one day when she woke up, Wistful had wings!!! She couldn't believe it!!! She didn't know that kind of thing happened in real life! She thought it only happened in bad RPS! But sure enough, she had wings! They were pretty and glittery and silvery and reddish pinkish purplish green. They were so beautiful!!! Wistful wasn't very happy to have wings, though, because she couldn't sit in front of her computer to write fanfic or make vids for her bestest ever LiveJournal friend (and her other friends, too, because Wistful was so Nice and Good and Generous like that). She knew she had to get rid of her wings, but she didn't know how!!! Then she realized! It must have been the dragon she got kidnapped by that one time! Remember??? That was the only explanation!!! Wistful was so unhappy. She didn't want wings. She just wanted to be like everyone else! And to write slashfic!
So Wistful went back to the land of the Gay Dragons. And there, she met Many Magical Creatures and had lots of exciting adventures and had lots of sex. Because she was that kind of Enlightened Girl, and was not at all Promiscuous, despite what other people have said on wistful_rpf I know Wistful, not like the rest of you mean nasty RPFers, and I know that she would never never ever have sex with a mastage and a sheep. Well, not at the same time. Anyhow. Back to my story, which is better than all your stupid stories.
Wistful finally found the dragon's castle. She crawled over hot sand and broken glass. She was crawling because she was suffering from Slash Anemia again! "Oh no!" she thought. "This always happens whenever I go to the Land of the Dragons and Stuff!" She wanted to cry. But being Brave and Courageous like she was, she didn't cry. Instead, she went inside the castle and saw that the dragons weren't just kissing anymore. Instantly, her Slash Anemia was cured. It was very exciting and everything, and lots of stuff happened and suddenly she didn't have wings anymore and there was a beautiful Princess! And a beautiful Prince! Who looked exactly like Michael Shanks and Amanda Tapping. The Princess looked like Michael Shanks, that is. And the Prince looked like Amanda Tapping. "Hello," said the princess. "My name is Maryanne Susanna Beautiful." [AN: Isn't that a great name??? I spent three hours thinking of it!!!] "Hello," said the prince. "My name is Stu."
"Hi, Maryanne Susanna! Hi, Stu!" said Wistful. She was so overcome with love and lust and joy. She had never seen people who were so beautiful, except on her favorite television show. But this wasn't television. This was real!
"We've come to marry you!!!" said Maryanne Susanna Beautiful.
"Both of you?" asked Wistful, because she was very smart and intelligent and knew that you couldn't be married to two people at once! That was just silly!
"Whichever of us you want!" said Maryanne Susanna Beautiful.
"Oh no!" thought Wistful. "Whatever shall I do??? They're both so beautiful! I want to marry both of them! But I know I can't!" She didn't know what to do!!! If only her bestest LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird, were here to help her choose, but she was far away in Virginia, not in the Land of Mystical Dragons and Royalty Who Want To Marry You!!! Whatever would Wistful do???
[A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! If you want more, review. And let me know if you think Wistful should marry the Prince or the Princess!!!! Thanks for reading!!!]
Actual Heading:
Rating: PG-13, probably.
Explanation: So awhile ago wistful_fever said "maybe one day they'll be RPF about me. And there's canon knowledge about my sexuality, which means there could be GOOD RPF about me." This is RPF about Wistful. It is not good RPF, however. It's very, very badfic. It's not really poking at Wistful so much as it's poking at the tropes of badfic, especially the tropes of RPF/S. Sadly, this is the longest thing I've written in weeks. It is also method 276 to procrastinate writing my Katherine Philips paper.
Disclaimer: This is fiction. This is meta-fiction, actually, but in any event, I have no idea what Wistful does with her free time, but I bet it doesn't involve dragons. This is in no way intended to portray real life. This is written with love. All characters are totally fictional, and Wistful in real life is much cooler than she is in my story. (Ari Serena Silver Moonbird, however, is exactly like me, only with a stupider name.)
Summary: all the exciting stuff that happened to Wistful in the Land of Magic and Stuff Like That, and also some slash! I wrote this for my friend, so if there's any mistakes, don't yell at me!!!
Author's Notes: SOME PEOPLE on the wistful_rpf group said that Wistful would never, ever ship anything except Daniel/Sam! I think this fic will prove you all wrong!!! And this is so much better than the other fic on that community, which is why I don't go there a lot anymore, but everyone should read my fic anyhow because it's so good and it's all about love and happiness and stuff!
Disclaimer: Not mine!!! It's fiction, duh [but I think we all know that some of it is real, you know what I'm talking about, iluvwistful1204 ;) ] Anyhow, I don't own Wistful, but I do own all my original characters! And you better not take them like someone stole Wistful's girlfriend, Perfecta Pearl, from my last Wistful RPF fic!!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
When Wistful came home from work, she was very tired. She knew she should go to bed, but instead, she turned on her computer. She needed slash! Specifically, she needed Jim/Blair slash. You see, Wistful had a rare condition called Slash Anemia and if she didn't have enough slash in her system, she would die!!! But when she went on the internet, she was shocked to find that even though there are approximately seventeen thousand slash stories in the Sentinel fandom, Wistful had read them all!!! Twice. Some, she had even committed to memory. This was clearly a tragedy. Of course, since Wistful was Brave and Heroic, she was willing to die. It was a small sacrifice to make for the greater good, and she only hoped that her tragic demise would be a valuable lesson for other slashers afflicted with Slash Anemia. And then people would post lots of Jim/Blair slash in honor of her death, and she kinda liked that idea. But just when she had written and posted her final goodbye in LiveJournal, her inbox was inundated with messages! People had commented on her entry! They said they loved Wistful very much and she didn't have to die just because the mean nasty slashers in the Sentinel fandom refused to write more fic. They said she could read other fic. All the Sam/Daniel shippers on her friends' list told her she should read that, but Wistful sighed sadly. She knew that het, even good het, would not fulfill her daily slash quota. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to die, but she didn't know what else she could do. She started to cry!!! Then, Wistful's bestest ever LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird (A.N. I know that sounds like a Mary Sue, but it's really not!!! That's her real name. I saw it in the wistful_rpf LJ community!!!] said, "Wistful, I know you don't ship like that, but why don't you read Jack/Daniel?"
Wistful was so grateful!!! She didn't know why she hadn't thought of that before, and was so glad her bestest ever LiveJournal friend had thought of it for her. She went to Area52 and was about to read a story, when suddenly, something happened!!! A dragon appeared right beside Wistful's computer!!! She was horrified and shocked and didn't know what to do. Not even her internet friends could save her now! She was on her own. She poked the dragon, and suddenly, she was transported to a parallel universe filled with dragons and unicorns and shiny things! The dragon put her on his back and transported her to his castle far away, and she was very tired. Remember, she still had Slash Anemia and she hadn't had a chance to read any pretty, pretty Jack/Daniel fic yet! Luckily, the dragon was a gay dragon, and he was taking her home to meet his Domestic Partner. Watching them kiss was enough to break the spell, and suddenly Wistful was back to her spunky, determined self. "HEY! Mr. Gay Dragon Man! You need to take me back to my house RIGHT NOW!"
"Okay," said the dragon, and suddenly there she was beside her computer again, with Area52 open on her Internet browser. Even though she didn't have Slash Anemia anymore [AN: actually, she still has it, but because she saw the dragons kiss and all, she's not going to die. But remember, she still has it, 'cause it will be important later!!!], she decided to read the Jack/Daniel fic. So she read all three thousand Jack/Daniel stories archived in Area52. And suddenly she was convinced of their True Wuv! She couldn't believe she had never seen it before! So she quit her job and sold all her belongings except her computer and devoted all her time to writing Jack/Daniel fic and making Jack/Daniel vids for her bestest ever LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird. Ari Serena Silver Moonbird was so happy and joyous that Wistful was making so much slash.
Then one day when she woke up, Wistful had wings!!! She couldn't believe it!!! She didn't know that kind of thing happened in real life! She thought it only happened in bad RPS! But sure enough, she had wings! They were pretty and glittery and silvery and reddish pinkish purplish green. They were so beautiful!!! Wistful wasn't very happy to have wings, though, because she couldn't sit in front of her computer to write fanfic or make vids for her bestest ever LiveJournal friend (and her other friends, too, because Wistful was so Nice and Good and Generous like that). She knew she had to get rid of her wings, but she didn't know how!!! Then she realized! It must have been the dragon she got kidnapped by that one time! Remember??? That was the only explanation!!! Wistful was so unhappy. She didn't want wings. She just wanted to be like everyone else! And to write slashfic!
So Wistful went back to the land of the Gay Dragons. And there, she met Many Magical Creatures and had lots of exciting adventures and had lots of sex. Because she was that kind of Enlightened Girl, and was not at all Promiscuous, despite what other people have said on wistful_rpf I know Wistful, not like the rest of you mean nasty RPFers, and I know that she would never never ever have sex with a mastage and a sheep. Well, not at the same time. Anyhow. Back to my story, which is better than all your stupid stories.
Wistful finally found the dragon's castle. She crawled over hot sand and broken glass. She was crawling because she was suffering from Slash Anemia again! "Oh no!" she thought. "This always happens whenever I go to the Land of the Dragons and Stuff!" She wanted to cry. But being Brave and Courageous like she was, she didn't cry. Instead, she went inside the castle and saw that the dragons weren't just kissing anymore. Instantly, her Slash Anemia was cured. It was very exciting and everything, and lots of stuff happened and suddenly she didn't have wings anymore and there was a beautiful Princess! And a beautiful Prince! Who looked exactly like Michael Shanks and Amanda Tapping. The Princess looked like Michael Shanks, that is. And the Prince looked like Amanda Tapping. "Hello," said the princess. "My name is Maryanne Susanna Beautiful." [AN: Isn't that a great name??? I spent three hours thinking of it!!!] "Hello," said the prince. "My name is Stu."
"Hi, Maryanne Susanna! Hi, Stu!" said Wistful. She was so overcome with love and lust and joy. She had never seen people who were so beautiful, except on her favorite television show. But this wasn't television. This was real!
"We've come to marry you!!!" said Maryanne Susanna Beautiful.
"Both of you?" asked Wistful, because she was very smart and intelligent and knew that you couldn't be married to two people at once! That was just silly!
"Whichever of us you want!" said Maryanne Susanna Beautiful.
"Oh no!" thought Wistful. "Whatever shall I do??? They're both so beautiful! I want to marry both of them! But I know I can't!" She didn't know what to do!!! If only her bestest LiveJournal friend, Ari Serena Silver Moonbird, were here to help her choose, but she was far away in Virginia, not in the Land of Mystical Dragons and Royalty Who Want To Marry You!!! Whatever would Wistful do???
[A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger! If you want more, review. And let me know if you think Wistful should marry the Prince or the Princess!!!! Thanks for reading!!!]