amore manic

[wirewraith]

I think a lot
most likely too much
time spent inside this jumbled attic of mind
trip over a pile of books, the covers torn off
bump an overflowing shelf of odds and ends
like me on the end side of odd

i want to squash my emotions flat
roll, stuff and lock them away, i'm exhausted from the mania
lately seems i've been struck fucking bi-polar

i know it is the break down of my stress management mechanism
doesn't matter what i know, i'm sick fo the up/down, up/down Yo-Yo yo.... so on
but the alternative?
Abandon this exploration? cut ties, run and hide (again or should i say as usual?)
is it really an option
no

So i am just tired,
ready to return to even keel now. i am not always like this
i'm ready to not be like this again