My Fingers Are Spread My fingertips are touching And My Thumbs Are Underneath My Chin
Alright so I was thinking about the American Dagoe Frog's get together or lack thereof and the thing that the whole thing was missing was planning. Flyers with no directions? Expecting lj queers to lift a finger, much less get up off their ass? Trying to get word out 2 days before? Sunday? Early in the evening? Neh-eh.
The past is past now let's think about where we are shall we.
Halloween looms over us like that meteor everybody can't wait to hit. It's a great holiday that gets no respect like the late great Rodney Dangerfield. The banks don't normally close for All Hallow's Eve, but this year Halloween falls on a Sunday. Shut 'em down bitch.
Alright so a Sunday party will work all over the damn place that night. Touche. I'm too lazy to put that e with an accent over it on touche, so just pronounce it douche with a 't'.
Then we have what the blah sit around with your family get stuffed and watch football Turkey day. Then what's that in the distance? Do I hear sleigh bells or the canned high hat from some shitty rap song? That's right the ghost of Bing Crosby will walk the earth again as grandma throws him in the CD player. Who let her have that anyway? I can hear Silver Bells in my head, "ring-uh-ling ding-uh-ling hear uhm ring soon it will be..."
That's right the holiday that's been overrun by CONSUMERISM moreso than the others. I know Walgreens stays in business from peddling crap for all of the Holidays I know it well I used to work there. Christmas is a holiday unlike the others. Spend spend spend. The news covers whether or not shoppers bought as much as the year before and in the last couple of years when people didn't have the means to buy as much shit a negative spin was put on it. "Retailers are reporting a 3 percent decrease in revenue from last Holiday Season". Fuck that. It's not the stock market that's falling. It's people saving a little money.
And you know I really don't like people who fall into the stereotype; wearing Freddy Krueger seasonal sweaters, filling church parking lots for once in twice a year, and all of the sudden not wanting to identify with Jews when it comes to tipping the help fairly. They killed Jesus you know?
People like that make me want to shit explosive diahrea full of corn and peanuts all over a Frosty the Snowman Welcome mat.
I remember a time coming up on three years ago when there was a decent turn out at some ghetto apt. complex off the Gulf Freeway. People showed up at and had a great time at that I HATE CHRISTMAS party. I don't know if it was the first but I do know it was the first one in which I showed up with a plush Santa Claus and burned him in front of the party goers. I gained the title the ELF BEARER. Burnt that jolly old faggot and melted all of his plastic parts. I didn't inhale when the plastic started catching.
The next year we hanged the bastard at Goth Lair Queerdom.
Last year due to a lack of planning *ahem* it didn't happen. People were moving somebody wanted it at their house after Christmas, and then it just didn't work out. Well I'm just typing to tell me that I want my title back. Just a thought, to carry over this fine October holiday a couple of months to have some fun with the Season. I admit I do Christmas stuff too, but still it's like love to Sam Kinnison it just keeps fucking me over.
Half the people out there aren't made thankful for what they have, they're made to feel shitty about the things they don't, and it's no wonder that there are more bank robberies around Christmas time than at any other time of the year. We're not just talking material goods either. Standing alone in a doorway under mistletoe as Bing Crosby warbles "Silver Bells....Silver Bells". I figure alot of people who don't really hate Christmas would dig it too. Holidays where family gets together and people fly in and someone buys somebody something really nice, and in return they get something really cheap; cause variables in which bad shit can happen. I like the thought of a party that give the finger to all the shitty Christmases past, present, and future. Bah Humbug.
I'm lighting a torch for all to see.
I'd love to go to I HATE CHRISTMAS PARTY PART III
Maybe I could dress someone I don't like in woment's self defense body armour and put a Santa costume over that. Throw Santa off the roof! A flame retardant Sandi Claus suit would be excellent as well.
Merry fuckit to all and to all a good nite.
The past is past now let's think about where we are shall we.
Halloween looms over us like that meteor everybody can't wait to hit. It's a great holiday that gets no respect like the late great Rodney Dangerfield. The banks don't normally close for All Hallow's Eve, but this year Halloween falls on a Sunday. Shut 'em down bitch.
Alright so a Sunday party will work all over the damn place that night. Touche. I'm too lazy to put that e with an accent over it on touche, so just pronounce it douche with a 't'.
Then we have what the blah sit around with your family get stuffed and watch football Turkey day. Then what's that in the distance? Do I hear sleigh bells or the canned high hat from some shitty rap song? That's right the ghost of Bing Crosby will walk the earth again as grandma throws him in the CD player. Who let her have that anyway? I can hear Silver Bells in my head, "ring-uh-ling ding-uh-ling hear uhm ring soon it will be..."
That's right the holiday that's been overrun by CONSUMERISM moreso than the others. I know Walgreens stays in business from peddling crap for all of the Holidays I know it well I used to work there. Christmas is a holiday unlike the others. Spend spend spend. The news covers whether or not shoppers bought as much as the year before and in the last couple of years when people didn't have the means to buy as much shit a negative spin was put on it. "Retailers are reporting a 3 percent decrease in revenue from last Holiday Season". Fuck that. It's not the stock market that's falling. It's people saving a little money.
And you know I really don't like people who fall into the stereotype; wearing Freddy Krueger seasonal sweaters, filling church parking lots for once in twice a year, and all of the sudden not wanting to identify with Jews when it comes to tipping the help fairly. They killed Jesus you know?
People like that make me want to shit explosive diahrea full of corn and peanuts all over a Frosty the Snowman Welcome mat.
I remember a time coming up on three years ago when there was a decent turn out at some ghetto apt. complex off the Gulf Freeway. People showed up at and had a great time at that I HATE CHRISTMAS party. I don't know if it was the first but I do know it was the first one in which I showed up with a plush Santa Claus and burned him in front of the party goers. I gained the title the ELF BEARER. Burnt that jolly old faggot and melted all of his plastic parts. I didn't inhale when the plastic started catching.
The next year we hanged the bastard at Goth Lair Queerdom.
Last year due to a lack of planning *ahem* it didn't happen. People were moving somebody wanted it at their house after Christmas, and then it just didn't work out. Well I'm just typing to tell me that I want my title back. Just a thought, to carry over this fine October holiday a couple of months to have some fun with the Season. I admit I do Christmas stuff too, but still it's like love to Sam Kinnison it just keeps fucking me over.
Half the people out there aren't made thankful for what they have, they're made to feel shitty about the things they don't, and it's no wonder that there are more bank robberies around Christmas time than at any other time of the year. We're not just talking material goods either. Standing alone in a doorway under mistletoe as Bing Crosby warbles "Silver Bells....Silver Bells". I figure alot of people who don't really hate Christmas would dig it too. Holidays where family gets together and people fly in and someone buys somebody something really nice, and in return they get something really cheap; cause variables in which bad shit can happen. I like the thought of a party that give the finger to all the shitty Christmases past, present, and future. Bah Humbug.
I'm lighting a torch for all to see.
I'd love to go to I HATE CHRISTMAS PARTY PART III
Maybe I could dress someone I don't like in woment's self defense body armour and put a Santa costume over that. Throw Santa off the roof! A flame retardant Sandi Claus suit would be excellent as well.
Merry fuckit to all and to all a good nite.