Disgruntlement (Take a step back to egocentricity)
So I'm not eloquent. This much, I have come to realize.
That doesn't mean I'm happy with the state of affairs. I feel (though am no longer sure) I -could- be, but have left myself untapped. This leads to that vague uncomfortable satisfaction we all must be familiar with, else we'd end up with a daily itenerary which involved little but chairs and televisions. At the same time, I'm blocked in by this real world of flesh and blood, not simply intangible ideas which we all manipulate inside our skulls. Reality is so much more than we think 'tis.
Underlying the entirety, however, is the slightly bitter dissatisfaction with self and circumstance, marking my assurance that I -could- create for myself the time and materials necessary for the tapping, capping, and distribution. But will I even strike? No. What am I afraid of? I am not certain, it might be bedrock, or it might be tapping out; what will I have when my veins are dry?
That doesn't mean I'm happy with the state of affairs. I feel (though am no longer sure) I -could- be, but have left myself untapped. This leads to that vague uncomfortable satisfaction we all must be familiar with, else we'd end up with a daily itenerary which involved little but chairs and televisions. At the same time, I'm blocked in by this real world of flesh and blood, not simply intangible ideas which we all manipulate inside our skulls. Reality is so much more than we think 'tis.
Underlying the entirety, however, is the slightly bitter dissatisfaction with self and circumstance, marking my assurance that I -could- create for myself the time and materials necessary for the tapping, capping, and distribution. But will I even strike? No. What am I afraid of? I am not certain, it might be bedrock, or it might be tapping out; what will I have when my veins are dry?