An insightful something…
I suppose I need a reevaluation of myself. I find myself not exactly knowing how to feel, I could be happy with everything yet I could totally despise everything in my life. Could be like I miss Dave, but honestly I don’t. Having moved passed him I only wonder what did I ever see in him? I can have so many others now, that should make me happy right? It somehow doesn’t though, feel like I’ve made the mistake of settling for less than I what want to often. So there I am on a see saw of embracing new relationships or dwelling on my mistakes of the past.
Work… I’ve learned at almost every single one of my jobs that I tend to surpass my friends. I hate to say it, but it’s undeniable. At McDonalds, MBNA, and now HMS. I should be happy that I’m doing well at the new job, but at the same time feel like I now must live to the high standards that I have apparently set for myself. The friend in question that I replaced seemed to be doing well with doing about half the amount of work I did and he was even being paid more to do it! I definitely feel bad for the guy because I’ve known him for so long, but at the same time I’ve got to look out for me, there are bills to be paid (I’m sure he has his own bills too). I did kind of f**k up on the Saturday shift because some how the dedicated guys were going to be moving this guy’s dedicated server, but 8 hours after the initial downtime, the server had seemingly like disappeared. I tried whatever I could do to at least find the darn thing internally, not much luck since I’m not one of the dedicated server folks! Anyways, at the end of my shift it hadn’t been resolved and I honestly did pretty much all I could. 18 hours later I get an e-mail about how I should have contact somebody, hmm if I only I knew such a thing… The guy in question has 2 dedicated servers with us and brings in about $1500 in revenue monthly for us…
School… I just don’t care anymore, sometimes I do I guess. I was suppose to have studied for my World Religions exam that I have first thing tomorrow, yet I choose to drink and just f**k around all day avoiding the studying. I’ve got a lot of sh*t I was suppose to have done today for school, but I feel like it’s not important. Yet sometimes I flip out about getting tiny little things done for school :\.
The end of my pointless thought for tonight.
Work… I’ve learned at almost every single one of my jobs that I tend to surpass my friends. I hate to say it, but it’s undeniable. At McDonalds, MBNA, and now HMS. I should be happy that I’m doing well at the new job, but at the same time feel like I now must live to the high standards that I have apparently set for myself. The friend in question that I replaced seemed to be doing well with doing about half the amount of work I did and he was even being paid more to do it! I definitely feel bad for the guy because I’ve known him for so long, but at the same time I’ve got to look out for me, there are bills to be paid (I’m sure he has his own bills too). I did kind of f**k up on the Saturday shift because some how the dedicated guys were going to be moving this guy’s dedicated server, but 8 hours after the initial downtime, the server had seemingly like disappeared. I tried whatever I could do to at least find the darn thing internally, not much luck since I’m not one of the dedicated server folks! Anyways, at the end of my shift it hadn’t been resolved and I honestly did pretty much all I could. 18 hours later I get an e-mail about how I should have contact somebody, hmm if I only I knew such a thing… The guy in question has 2 dedicated servers with us and brings in about $1500 in revenue monthly for us…
School… I just don’t care anymore, sometimes I do I guess. I was suppose to have studied for my World Religions exam that I have first thing tomorrow, yet I choose to drink and just f**k around all day avoiding the studying. I’ve got a lot of sh*t I was suppose to have done today for school, but I feel like it’s not important. Yet sometimes I flip out about getting tiny little things done for school :\.
The end of my pointless thought for tonight.