Wondering
I sat at the bar tonight, as is my usual on Tuesdays. I laughed and joked with my friends there. I sang songs.
I thought about Tabbatha and that's pretty much how it's been. Thanks to one rather talented singer, and an odd choice of songs (considering his usual) I've been rather madulin all night.
Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heartbeat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are, by my side
So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am, with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay
So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am, with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
That's the song. We danced to that song every time it was played. If someone had sang Rascal Flatts, I probably would have just left. Every long lost dream and all that.
I knew before I ever got involved with her that it was going to happen. I knew it, and I accepted it, and really, I guess I still do. Of course, I will always be an optimist. I thought maybe this time it'd be different. I thought the future I'd seen would turn out to be wrong. I thought maybe for once my hopes would turn out to be something more than the usual disappointments.
I was wrong.
I miss her, Christ, I miss her so much. When kissing a woman like her is a taste of Heaven, not having her is a vision of Hell. I danced with my friend's Girlfriend, since he's not much of a dancer. (For those local, this is CJ, his dancing would get him ejected from a Pentacostal Revival, and we know this.) and the more the songs wore on, the more torturous it became.
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same.
All the miles that seperate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that this gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go,
It gets hard but it want take away my love.
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done.
It gets hard but it want take away my love.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, girl, it's only you and me.
It's hard, on nights like this. The lonliness. Even clowns cry, but they're not supposed to show it. Fuck that, I'm showing it, and I don't much care right now. Everyone was telling me how worried they were about me, because of this, and the only answer I could really give with any amount of honesty was this. "Thanks for the concern, but I've been getting my heart broken for years now. I'm pretty well used to it."
So maybe I am used to it, maybe I'm not. I've not cried, not yet, and probably not at all. (unless something changes) The worst part is getting used to it. Getting over it even. I had a blonde in a skimpy little red number giving me the eye all night, and all I could really do was smile when I caught her looking. (point of note, I wasn't the only person to see this, so I'm not being delusional) I honestly really couldn't bring myself to say anything to her.
I know I'll get over this, it's just a matter of when, and at what cost. When you love someone though, no price to too great, right?
I thought about Tabbatha and that's pretty much how it's been. Thanks to one rather talented singer, and an odd choice of songs (considering his usual) I've been rather madulin all night.
Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heartbeat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are, by my side
So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am, with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay
So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am, with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
That's the song. We danced to that song every time it was played. If someone had sang Rascal Flatts, I probably would have just left. Every long lost dream and all that.
I knew before I ever got involved with her that it was going to happen. I knew it, and I accepted it, and really, I guess I still do. Of course, I will always be an optimist. I thought maybe this time it'd be different. I thought the future I'd seen would turn out to be wrong. I thought maybe for once my hopes would turn out to be something more than the usual disappointments.
I was wrong.
I miss her, Christ, I miss her so much. When kissing a woman like her is a taste of Heaven, not having her is a vision of Hell. I danced with my friend's Girlfriend, since he's not much of a dancer. (For those local, this is CJ, his dancing would get him ejected from a Pentacostal Revival, and we know this.) and the more the songs wore on, the more torturous it became.
A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same.
All the miles that seperate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that this gets better as we go.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, it's only you and me.
Everything I know, and anywhere I go,
It gets hard but it want take away my love.
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done.
It gets hard but it want take away my love.
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, girl, it's only you and me.
It's hard, on nights like this. The lonliness. Even clowns cry, but they're not supposed to show it. Fuck that, I'm showing it, and I don't much care right now. Everyone was telling me how worried they were about me, because of this, and the only answer I could really give with any amount of honesty was this. "Thanks for the concern, but I've been getting my heart broken for years now. I'm pretty well used to it."
So maybe I am used to it, maybe I'm not. I've not cried, not yet, and probably not at all. (unless something changes) The worst part is getting used to it. Getting over it even. I had a blonde in a skimpy little red number giving me the eye all night, and all I could really do was smile when I caught her looking. (point of note, I wasn't the only person to see this, so I'm not being delusional) I honestly really couldn't bring myself to say anything to her.
I know I'll get over this, it's just a matter of when, and at what cost. When you love someone though, no price to too great, right?