My relationship states
This is a follow-up to Some things are not meant for twitter.
I have three relationship states, give or take. They apply to everyone I can choose to have a relationship with:
Good -- I am happy. I assume that the other person means to be kind and generous and loving (most of the time. We will not speak of low blood-sugar/pms/etc).
Acceptable cost-benefit -- I am not walking on sunshine all the time, but all things considered, I get more than I lose in the relationship. It is not super-healthy, but it can be sustained for surprising periods. It is harder for me to be generous about other people's motives when I am in this state.
Probably broken -- The relationship is making me more unhappy than happy, but I am staying for some reason - because I promised, or because it's situational, or because I suspect that I will get over it in a short period of time.
Relationships can shift states of course, but for me, "Probably broken" is a pre-breakup state that is very hard to dig out of.
I have three relationship states, give or take. They apply to everyone I can choose to have a relationship with:
Good -- I am happy. I assume that the other person means to be kind and generous and loving (most of the time. We will not speak of low blood-sugar/pms/etc).
Acceptable cost-benefit -- I am not walking on sunshine all the time, but all things considered, I get more than I lose in the relationship. It is not super-healthy, but it can be sustained for surprising periods. It is harder for me to be generous about other people's motives when I am in this state.
Probably broken -- The relationship is making me more unhappy than happy, but I am staying for some reason - because I promised, or because it's situational, or because I suspect that I will get over it in a short period of time.
Relationships can shift states of course, but for me, "Probably broken" is a pre-breakup state that is very hard to dig out of.