Spontaneous ficlet I guess?
I have a cold and was watching more Fate/Zero with my housemate and girlfriend, and fuck it, this ficlet kind of has to happen even if I haven't finished the series or can form coherent sentences, because Rider and Waver are the best thing ever and even though I'm not sure I ship them sexually yet there is still the hard fact that Waver is like incapable of not sticking his butt in the air around Alexander the Great.
Title: Advances in Phalluscraft
Fandom: Fate/Zero
Rating: ...vague discussion of sex toys and Waver's butt being in the air, IDK.
Summary: Rider conquers the internet, one online store at a time.
Iskander, as usual, late at night, is surfing, with Waver propped up against his side as he buries his nose in a book bigger than him, because what else is he to do while the boy performs his research and there are no battles to be fought? And since he has found ways to get both the most kingly shirt and the choice wingtips of twenty birds slathered in spices delivered to his door, he might as well explore the rest of what the internet has to offer.
And the best, he is discovering, expands into a wide variety of territories.
"Hohhh, marvelous!"
Waver, it seems, has gotten used to tuning him out when he is reading, and Iskander is far too absorbed in the marvels he has found to feel a need to rouse him.
"Firm, yet flexible, and dishwasher safe? Definitely an improvement on leather, those phalluses would always get manky after a few months, and not every night calls for the hardness of stone..."
"Rider I'm reading." An automatic response, he's fairly certain the boy has muttered it in his sleep more than once.
"But I have discovered some wonderful advances in phalluscraft!" He thumps his fist triumphantly on the mattress. "Ribbed, I have not seen the like since Lesbos..."
The loud squawk is a good ten seconds delayed.
"Phalluswhat?"
He clicks to another category, scratching fingers through his beard and grinning, intrigued. "And this vibration business is entirely new..."
There is a huge pair of eyes peering over his shoulder now, he can see the reflection in the monitor. And that lasts for a few reddening seconds before Waver gives a strangled scream and disappears behind him.
"What are you even augh RIDER--why do you exist--don't you dare order--order--that--to my house or I will kick you out--why would you even--"
"Out on the path to conquest!" Iskander grins and reaches for his soda.
There's a wail and a weary thump as Waver collapses to the mattress--too high-strung to think clearly about such matters, no doubt. Iskander peers over his shoulder at the boy, checking if he's crossed some line, as always, but he's in his usual prostrate slump with his rear high in the air, so he's not too concerned. Takes a long drink of soda, looks to the monitor, back to Waver, back to the monitor, and starts filling his shopping cart.
This entry was originally posted at my fandom journal on Dreamwidth. Please comment there if possible.
Title: Advances in Phalluscraft
Fandom: Fate/Zero
Rating: ...vague discussion of sex toys and Waver's butt being in the air, IDK.
Summary: Rider conquers the internet, one online store at a time.
Iskander, as usual, late at night, is surfing, with Waver propped up against his side as he buries his nose in a book bigger than him, because what else is he to do while the boy performs his research and there are no battles to be fought? And since he has found ways to get both the most kingly shirt and the choice wingtips of twenty birds slathered in spices delivered to his door, he might as well explore the rest of what the internet has to offer.
And the best, he is discovering, expands into a wide variety of territories.
"Hohhh, marvelous!"
Waver, it seems, has gotten used to tuning him out when he is reading, and Iskander is far too absorbed in the marvels he has found to feel a need to rouse him.
"Firm, yet flexible, and dishwasher safe? Definitely an improvement on leather, those phalluses would always get manky after a few months, and not every night calls for the hardness of stone..."
"Rider I'm reading." An automatic response, he's fairly certain the boy has muttered it in his sleep more than once.
"But I have discovered some wonderful advances in phalluscraft!" He thumps his fist triumphantly on the mattress. "Ribbed, I have not seen the like since Lesbos..."
The loud squawk is a good ten seconds delayed.
"Phalluswhat?"
He clicks to another category, scratching fingers through his beard and grinning, intrigued. "And this vibration business is entirely new..."
There is a huge pair of eyes peering over his shoulder now, he can see the reflection in the monitor. And that lasts for a few reddening seconds before Waver gives a strangled scream and disappears behind him.
"What are you even augh RIDER--why do you exist--don't you dare order--order--that--to my house or I will kick you out--why would you even--"
"Out on the path to conquest!" Iskander grins and reaches for his soda.
There's a wail and a weary thump as Waver collapses to the mattress--too high-strung to think clearly about such matters, no doubt. Iskander peers over his shoulder at the boy, checking if he's crossed some line, as always, but he's in his usual prostrate slump with his rear high in the air, so he's not too concerned. Takes a long drink of soda, looks to the monitor, back to Waver, back to the monitor, and starts filling his shopping cart.
This entry was originally posted at my fandom journal on Dreamwidth. Please comment there if possible.