ENORMOUS SEX POST OF DOOOOOOM
So, like, years ago, when I started using a sex filter (which I've since stopped using), I inaugurated it by filling out a fairly extensive BDSM negotiation chart. For, y'know, shits'n'giggles. (Except not the former. HARD LIMIT. Ahem.) I kept it updated for a few months, but, well, that was years ago. Done a lot more things, loosened a few old limits, gained a few new ones. And I realized, hey, could be fun to go back and do it again.
This time around, I have taken the liberty of removing a few things that pretty much leave me drawing blanks and that I've not run into in my several years of sporadic playing, and adding in one of my favorite things, so it's a slightly different list. Edit: And, yaknow, I forgot to add that this was originally a five-column chart, with columns for opinions and experience on the topping side as well, which I removed because I'm almost entirely bottomy.
NSFW. Do not read this unless you actually WANT to know WAY more about my kinks and sexual habits than several of my exes ever did. SERIOUSLY. TTTTTTTTMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIII.
For Any Given Kink...
...do I think it's fun?
...have I done it?
Sensation Play...
Abrasion:
Edit: Y'know, it didn't even occur to me, until I saw somebody else fill out this list, that this could mean, like, the bite of hemp rope. Which I LOVE. Other than that, though, even petting me to long in once place can make me feel sandpapered.
Yes.
Blindfolds:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Breast bondage:
Yes.
Yes.
Chains:
Yes.
Sortof.
Corsets:
FUCK YES. Sort of in theory, but, yeah.
Sortof. (Lingerie corsets. Rope corsets on myself. Duct tape over a t-shirt. Never worn an actual properly constructed steel-boned corset. Want to so badly.)
Electric:
Something I would be very interested in trying, given proper equipment and somebody who knows what they're doing.
No. (Lumping TENS and violet in here because they have the same answers.)
Handcuffs: metal:
HARD LIMIT. (For health reasons; I have enough wrist pain and trouble as it is.)
Yes, though only the trick sort.
Handcuffs: soft:
Yes.
Sortof.
Leather bondage:
Yes.
Sortof.
Rope bondage:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Head hoods:
Would really like to try at some point.
No.
Gags of any sort:
Would LOVE to try. (Complications of not being able to speak during a scene? Make me slightly wibbly. On the other hand, huge bondage kink + oral fixation = love the sensation.)
Only on myself.
Hair pulling:
Depends. Taking a big handful just to hold my head still? Yes. Yanking? NOT good pain.
Yes.
Hot waxing:
Would like to try.
Sortof. (Hell, everyone's experienced this in a nonsexual context.)
Ice cubes:
Yes.
Yes.
Massage:
Yes.
Yes. (Fortunately for my shoulders.)
Nipple play:
Yes.
Yes.
Saran-wrapping:
Yes. (Though I do overheat easily.)
Yes.
Scratches:
Yes.
Yes.
Spreader bars:
Yes.
Only on myself.
Suspension:
Something I would be very interested in trying, given proper equipment and somebody who knows what they're doing.
No.
Tickling:
I WILL KILL YOU.
Yes. And there was much pillow-whapping.
Sadomasochistic play...
Flogging:
Yes.
Yes, though not very heavily.
Biting:
Yes
Yes.
Breast flogging:
I honestly don't know.
Sortof. (Gotten them slapped more than flogged, really. Which I can take if I'm stupid far under.)
Bruising:
No limits here, though it's better to keep marks out of publicly visible areas. And, yes, the first thing I do after a scene, once I can walk, is run to the mirror.
Yes.
Caning:
A conditional FUCK YES--I've not yet been able to take a heavy caning, but even a light one does fun, fun things to my head.
Yes.
Choking:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
Sortof.
Clamping nipples:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Clothespins:
Yes
Only on myself.
Cutting:
HARD LIMIT. I do not think I could find that kind of pain sexy.
No.
Kicking:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Paddling of any sort:
Yes.
Yes.
Play-piercing:
HARD LIMIT.
No.
Punching:
Have taken it to the ass and liked it, when far enough under; do not think I could take it anywhere else.
Yes.
Riding crops:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Slapping of body:
Yes.
Yes.
Slapping of face:
HARD LIMIT. Extends to any pain about the face. Especially biting.
Yes. (The biting? My one kink-related freak-out.)
Spanking with hairbrush:
Yes.
Yes. (Smooth side.)
Spanking over the knee:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Sex play...
Anal sex:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Anal plugs:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Cunt spanking:
Yes.
Yes.
Dildos:
Yes.
Yes.
Double penetration:
If this means one each in two orifices, then FUCK YES. If this means two in one orifice, then, er, I'm not that stretchy.
Yes / no.
Fantasy rape:
Something I would be interested in trying, but, o hai extensive negotiation.
No.
Fisting: anal:
Something I would REALLY be interested in trying, because I actually think I could manage it, and, dude.
No.
Fisting: vaginal:
No, I'm not that stretchy.
No.
Forced masturbation:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Gangbang:
Something I would reeeaaaally like to try at some point. (I mean, major fantasy fodder here.)
No.
Hand jobs:
Yes.
Yes, both received and given to both common sets of anatomy. Though my hands are a little weak and clumsy these days.
Orgasm control:
Yes. Though I'm hair-trigger stupidly poly-orgasmic, so it ain't easy.
Yes.
Orgasm denial:
Yes, see above.
Sortof.
Outdoor sex:
If in a secluded area with no chance of discovery, yes. If not, soft limit; see exhibitionism.
Yes. (Fairly secluded. And on Beltane, so what the hell.)
Oral sex:
FUCK YES. Did I mention the oral fixation?
Received and given to both common sets of anatomy.
Phone sex:
I don't know how to do it and I don't know what I'd get out of it, though I suspect very little.
No.
Speculums:
Would be interested in trying at some point.
No.
Strap-ons:
Sure, why not?
No.
Triple penetration:
See double penetration.
No.
Vibrators:
Yes, please!
Yes.
Headplay...(where my answers get more complicated)
Age play:
I pretty much don't get it, and it kind of freaks me out, so we'll call this a HARD LIMIT.
No.
Animal roles:
I don't know my human role enough yet. This is a while of exploration off, I can't even really give an answer.
No. (Unless you count my incessant meowing.)
Auctioned for charity:
That sounds fun. Like Blogathon, only with less punch-drunk and more sex.
No.
Breath control:
Something I'm interested in, but also very, VERY cautious about. Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Cages:
Yes, please!
Sortof. (At the Flea; no play, just hanging out in one in a booth.)
Chores:
I have no idea whether it would do anything for me in any way.
No. (Unless you count the day I decided to wear my buttplug to make cleaning out my closet more, ah, interesting.)
Collars:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Cross-dressing:
If you can actually find enough Ace bandages in the known universe to make me look like a man, then you've earned the right to try.
No. (Except for LARPs.)
Exhibitionism:
If all parties involved in said exhibitionism are fully consenting and interested, then yes. Otherwise, makes me very uncomfortable.
Yes.
Foodplay:
Not something I get much out of, but I'm generally down with it.
Yes.
Forced nudity:
I can't imagine any situation where you would have to force me, unless it involves breaking the law or endangering my health, in which case, no. :P
No.
Given away:
Um, hi. Poly.
No.
Golden showers:
HARD LIMIT.
No.
Harems:
Again, poly.
Sortof.
Humiliation:
HARD LIMIT. (I have too many self-esteem issues and have spent too long getting over being ashamed of being submissive. Please to not be undoing all the hard work.)
No. (In scene; like dripping candle wax, everybody gets it out of scene, one way or another.)
Interrogation:
Sounds like it could be interesting, but would depend upon the full context.
No.
Kidnapping:
Something I would be interested in trying, but, o hai extensive negotiation.
No.
Kneeling:
Yes, though my knees give out faster than most.
Sortof.
Knife play:
Sans cutting, I assume, since that was a separate entry; would require extra-high degree of trust.
No.
Medical scenes:
I'm not specifically turned on by the fetish, but I have no objection to the setting as long as the things done within it are enjoyable.
No.
Prison scenes:
See medical scenes.
No.
Punishment scenes:
Would require very careful negotiation and balance; punishment implies wrongdoing, and wrongdoing generally leaves me humiliated, and we're at a hard limit there. But could be fun if done right.
No.
Religious scenes:
See medical scenes. Unless you're talking energy play or sex magic, in which case that's, like, a whole different layer of complicated, but generally good.
No / yes.
Sensory deprivation:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Shaving:
Body hair: soft limit. Head: HARD LIMIT.
No.
Speech restriction:
Something I would be interested in trying.
No.
Wrestling:
Sounds like it could be fun. (Though with all but one or two people who've topped me, like, ever, there's a distinct chance I'd win, which kinda messes with the scene.)
Sortof.
So, the, like, tiny number of people in the world who actually track such things might notice that one thing in particular has changed.
Yesterday. Thursday the 7th.
I had managed to be sexually active for the better part of five years before anybody ever went down on me.
(Complicated. Lost test results and girlfriend not wanting to use protection (and then she dumped me.) Said he'd do it but never got around to it because we were too busy having crazy sex magic (and then he dumped me.) Etcetera.)
I had kind of had this thing about it for a while. So much hype. More than one person being all like "OMG nobody's ever done that? I shall have to fix that!" and then not doing so before dumping me. Began to suspect theme of people dating me, wanting to take my oral sex virginity, and dumping me before doing so.
But Boy, who wishes to not be referred to by name, and who I have yet to decide upon a pseudonym for (Monkey? Skunk? Namor?), said he wanted to, and then did.
Holy fuck, I came in about two seconds flat.
I mean, I expected it to be good, but not that intense.
(And then I look down and there's this pair of big brown eyes peeking gleefully out from my crotch.)
Things I have learned: I apparently have a very small clit, taste good, and oral sex makes me come so hard my leg twitches uncontrollably.
YAY! <333333 Boy.
This time around, I have taken the liberty of removing a few things that pretty much leave me drawing blanks and that I've not run into in my several years of sporadic playing, and adding in one of my favorite things, so it's a slightly different list. Edit: And, yaknow, I forgot to add that this was originally a five-column chart, with columns for opinions and experience on the topping side as well, which I removed because I'm almost entirely bottomy.
NSFW. Do not read this unless you actually WANT to know WAY more about my kinks and sexual habits than several of my exes ever did. SERIOUSLY. TTTTTTTTMMMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIII.
For Any Given Kink...
...do I think it's fun?
...have I done it?
Sensation Play...
Abrasion:
Edit: Y'know, it didn't even occur to me, until I saw somebody else fill out this list, that this could mean, like, the bite of hemp rope. Which I LOVE. Other than that, though, even petting me to long in once place can make me feel sandpapered.
Yes.
Blindfolds:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Breast bondage:
Yes.
Yes.
Chains:
Yes.
Sortof.
Corsets:
FUCK YES. Sort of in theory, but, yeah.
Sortof. (Lingerie corsets. Rope corsets on myself. Duct tape over a t-shirt. Never worn an actual properly constructed steel-boned corset. Want to so badly.)
Electric:
Something I would be very interested in trying, given proper equipment and somebody who knows what they're doing.
No. (Lumping TENS and violet in here because they have the same answers.)
Handcuffs: metal:
HARD LIMIT. (For health reasons; I have enough wrist pain and trouble as it is.)
Yes, though only the trick sort.
Handcuffs: soft:
Yes.
Sortof.
Leather bondage:
Yes.
Sortof.
Rope bondage:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Head hoods:
Would really like to try at some point.
No.
Gags of any sort:
Would LOVE to try. (Complications of not being able to speak during a scene? Make me slightly wibbly. On the other hand, huge bondage kink + oral fixation = love the sensation.)
Only on myself.
Hair pulling:
Depends. Taking a big handful just to hold my head still? Yes. Yanking? NOT good pain.
Yes.
Hot waxing:
Would like to try.
Sortof. (Hell, everyone's experienced this in a nonsexual context.)
Ice cubes:
Yes.
Yes.
Massage:
Yes.
Yes. (Fortunately for my shoulders.)
Nipple play:
Yes.
Yes.
Saran-wrapping:
Yes. (Though I do overheat easily.)
Yes.
Scratches:
Yes.
Yes.
Spreader bars:
Yes.
Only on myself.
Suspension:
Something I would be very interested in trying, given proper equipment and somebody who knows what they're doing.
No.
Tickling:
I WILL KILL YOU.
Yes. And there was much pillow-whapping.
Sadomasochistic play...
Flogging:
Yes.
Yes, though not very heavily.
Biting:
Yes
Yes.
Breast flogging:
I honestly don't know.
Sortof. (Gotten them slapped more than flogged, really. Which I can take if I'm stupid far under.)
Bruising:
No limits here, though it's better to keep marks out of publicly visible areas. And, yes, the first thing I do after a scene, once I can walk, is run to the mirror.
Yes.
Caning:
A conditional FUCK YES--I've not yet been able to take a heavy caning, but even a light one does fun, fun things to my head.
Yes.
Choking:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
Sortof.
Clamping nipples:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Clothespins:
Yes
Only on myself.
Cutting:
HARD LIMIT. I do not think I could find that kind of pain sexy.
No.
Kicking:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Paddling of any sort:
Yes.
Yes.
Play-piercing:
HARD LIMIT.
No.
Punching:
Have taken it to the ass and liked it, when far enough under; do not think I could take it anywhere else.
Yes.
Riding crops:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Slapping of body:
Yes.
Yes.
Slapping of face:
HARD LIMIT. Extends to any pain about the face. Especially biting.
Yes. (The biting? My one kink-related freak-out.)
Spanking with hairbrush:
Yes.
Yes. (Smooth side.)
Spanking over the knee:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Sex play...
Anal sex:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Anal plugs:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Cunt spanking:
Yes.
Yes.
Dildos:
Yes.
Yes.
Double penetration:
If this means one each in two orifices, then FUCK YES. If this means two in one orifice, then, er, I'm not that stretchy.
Yes / no.
Fantasy rape:
Something I would be interested in trying, but, o hai extensive negotiation.
No.
Fisting: anal:
Something I would REALLY be interested in trying, because I actually think I could manage it, and, dude.
No.
Fisting: vaginal:
No, I'm not that stretchy.
No.
Forced masturbation:
Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Gangbang:
Something I would reeeaaaally like to try at some point. (I mean, major fantasy fodder here.)
No.
Hand jobs:
Yes.
Yes, both received and given to both common sets of anatomy. Though my hands are a little weak and clumsy these days.
Orgasm control:
Yes. Though I'm hair-trigger stupidly poly-orgasmic, so it ain't easy.
Yes.
Orgasm denial:
Yes, see above.
Sortof.
Outdoor sex:
If in a secluded area with no chance of discovery, yes. If not, soft limit; see exhibitionism.
Yes. (Fairly secluded. And on Beltane, so what the hell.)
Oral sex:
FUCK YES. Did I mention the oral fixation?
Received and given to both common sets of anatomy.
Phone sex:
I don't know how to do it and I don't know what I'd get out of it, though I suspect very little.
No.
Speculums:
Would be interested in trying at some point.
No.
Strap-ons:
Sure, why not?
No.
Triple penetration:
See double penetration.
No.
Vibrators:
Yes, please!
Yes.
Headplay...(where my answers get more complicated)
Age play:
I pretty much don't get it, and it kind of freaks me out, so we'll call this a HARD LIMIT.
No.
Animal roles:
I don't know my human role enough yet. This is a while of exploration off, I can't even really give an answer.
No. (Unless you count my incessant meowing.)
Auctioned for charity:
That sounds fun. Like Blogathon, only with less punch-drunk and more sex.
No.
Breath control:
Something I'm interested in, but also very, VERY cautious about. Soft limit; would require a very high degree of trust.
No.
Cages:
Yes, please!
Sortof. (At the Flea; no play, just hanging out in one in a booth.)
Chores:
I have no idea whether it would do anything for me in any way.
No. (Unless you count the day I decided to wear my buttplug to make cleaning out my closet more, ah, interesting.)
Collars:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Cross-dressing:
If you can actually find enough Ace bandages in the known universe to make me look like a man, then you've earned the right to try.
No. (Except for LARPs.)
Exhibitionism:
If all parties involved in said exhibitionism are fully consenting and interested, then yes. Otherwise, makes me very uncomfortable.
Yes.
Foodplay:
Not something I get much out of, but I'm generally down with it.
Yes.
Forced nudity:
I can't imagine any situation where you would have to force me, unless it involves breaking the law or endangering my health, in which case, no. :P
No.
Given away:
Um, hi. Poly.
No.
Golden showers:
HARD LIMIT.
No.
Harems:
Again, poly.
Sortof.
Humiliation:
HARD LIMIT. (I have too many self-esteem issues and have spent too long getting over being ashamed of being submissive. Please to not be undoing all the hard work.)
No. (In scene; like dripping candle wax, everybody gets it out of scene, one way or another.)
Interrogation:
Sounds like it could be interesting, but would depend upon the full context.
No.
Kidnapping:
Something I would be interested in trying, but, o hai extensive negotiation.
No.
Kneeling:
Yes, though my knees give out faster than most.
Sortof.
Knife play:
Sans cutting, I assume, since that was a separate entry; would require extra-high degree of trust.
No.
Medical scenes:
I'm not specifically turned on by the fetish, but I have no objection to the setting as long as the things done within it are enjoyable.
No.
Prison scenes:
See medical scenes.
No.
Punishment scenes:
Would require very careful negotiation and balance; punishment implies wrongdoing, and wrongdoing generally leaves me humiliated, and we're at a hard limit there. But could be fun if done right.
No.
Religious scenes:
See medical scenes. Unless you're talking energy play or sex magic, in which case that's, like, a whole different layer of complicated, but generally good.
No / yes.
Sensory deprivation:
FUCK YES.
Yes.
Shaving:
Body hair: soft limit. Head: HARD LIMIT.
No.
Speech restriction:
Something I would be interested in trying.
No.
Wrestling:
Sounds like it could be fun. (Though with all but one or two people who've topped me, like, ever, there's a distinct chance I'd win, which kinda messes with the scene.)
Sortof.
So, the, like, tiny number of people in the world who actually track such things might notice that one thing in particular has changed.
Yesterday. Thursday the 7th.
I had managed to be sexually active for the better part of five years before anybody ever went down on me.
(Complicated. Lost test results and girlfriend not wanting to use protection (and then she dumped me.) Said he'd do it but never got around to it because we were too busy having crazy sex magic (and then he dumped me.) Etcetera.)
I had kind of had this thing about it for a while. So much hype. More than one person being all like "OMG nobody's ever done that? I shall have to fix that!" and then not doing so before dumping me. Began to suspect theme of people dating me, wanting to take my oral sex virginity, and dumping me before doing so.
But Boy, who wishes to not be referred to by name, and who I have yet to decide upon a pseudonym for (Monkey? Skunk? Namor?), said he wanted to, and then did.
Holy fuck, I came in about two seconds flat.
I mean, I expected it to be good, but not that intense.
(And then I look down and there's this pair of big brown eyes peeking gleefully out from my crotch.)
Things I have learned: I apparently have a very small clit, taste good, and oral sex makes me come so hard my leg twitches uncontrollably.
YAY! <333333 Boy.