god i wish he was an arsehole
Kim
what are the odds i haven't come across like the biggest slice of dick cheese in life?
..
Oliver
hahaha kim
sorry i didnt reply
i did the walk of shame from my friends house in dickson back to civic for a bus today
and been dying all arvo
Kim
dude. seriously. all i can say is sorry. im such a retard. this is why people are supposed to have friends that stop them doing retarded shit
..
Oliver
its fine its not ur fault
..
Kim
uh well yeah techincally it is
..
Oliver
ur not a robot and shit affects u
i should be less of a bad person
..
Kim
no but its not even like that. because i knew even before i went out that chances are i wouldnt run into you and for some reason i still went retarded about it.
like i really think i am a person who should not drink. and putting up with ali all night put me on edge. you would not even believe the night i had
anyways just dont make me into one of those chicks that you run away from when you see them in civic. because yeah im batshit crazy but like i dont want that to happen you know.
..
Oliver
yea look
loosely my thoughts on the situation are like
i think ur great and fun
but as u can tell im not one to get more involved
i feel bad for though u might feel u overreacted or were being freaked out or watever
i dont want to hurt u
and clearly u have alot of feelings on the subjet
..
Kim
yeah i know that. like honestly. i wasnt lying the other night when i said even if you were i wouldnt. which is what sucks because i think i just made a hhuge step backwards here. i'm not looking to try and get you to like me bro.
honestly it;s like this. in my life i need friends i dont need boyfriends or whatever. i just need people around. thats all. because what i tend to do is i tend to just shut myself away from people. which is why when i make friends with people i tendd to be a little paranoid that they dont really like tme that much.
..
and even though you dont believe in guy girl friendships i donno i sort of count you as a friend regardless. like obviously not totally platonically but i do
..
Oliver
i get that i just dont want to cause u problems
i dont hate u
i still think ur crazy but no more than i always have
..
Kim
yeah but now you think i like you do. which is a huge problem for me/.
too*
but look. im worried you see me as like some sort of an obstacle. in all honestly, 100% do not have a problem with you going out and picking up girls. at all. its what you do. i appreicate that. if i was a guy id probably wanna do the same. and i know it sounds hard to believe but its true.
..
i saw you out with that girl last night and i just let itbe. i just left didnt come and interrupt or anything because i dont want to be a cock block to you man
..
Oliver
ok
clearly its had an effect though
and im sorry for that
basicaly ur text outburst thing
hasnt made me feel anything bad towards u
so like dont stress
im just idk
being confronted by alot of different things
making me get all introspective
and its good i guess i wanna grow as a person
so thank u
i thhink ur great kim and u should do shit for u id love to see u really happy
..
Kim
oh god. no really i am so beyond full of shit that i really would not take anything i say as any reflection on you and you certianly shoulnt be taking it on as feedback. fuck. seriously. huuuge mistake. god.
you cant be basing your actions or whatever around the happiness of other people. i know ti others you that all these girls get so upset which is why im frustrated i went and acted like one of them last night but seriously it's not your fault. it's like avoidable but people only get hurt because of their own expectations. you arent telling them to expect this shit they just do it on their own.
..
Oliver
regardless people are still people
..
Kim Rowe
i think you spend too much time thinking about what an arsehole you are when you really arent. ive met aresholes and you might hurt people but you arent one. you are probably one of the nicest guys ive ever met. and thats why people get hurt. it's not you and i think it really sucks you think you should have to sit there and reflect on your behaviour or whatever like there is something wrong with you when ther isnt
.
yeah but you cant put other people before youself. it doesnt work. you cant ever make other people happy until you are happy yourself. its the biggest mistake anyone can make
..
Oliver
thanks kim but idk
idk
><
u dont have to apologise and shit here
..
Kim
ugh wish i could go back in time and smack myself up a little.
..
Oliver
uve done nothign wrong
the thing is i could elect to not be disingenuous
not get so involved with no long term goals
i justify me doing this kinda shit by what ursaying
if i dont promise things its ok
but at the end of the day people still have feelings
and just because i block mine out doesnt make shit ok
but anyway
ur a smart girl and u have no where near enough self respect or confidence as u deserve
i dontw anna be another factror in ur life influencing u to be that girl
..
Kim
the thing is though right shit sint that simple. its not like. take away the negative influences and kimberley will be a normal person. it;s too hard to explain why i am the way i am but it's all ive got man. like i dont want to get all crazy here but i tend to be of the mind that it's better to feel anything then nothing at all you know.
.
which people dont really understand.
so yeah i hurt myself alot. but its not the people around me.
not my influences
because even if you pulled me out of canberra put me with a different group of people. gave me a different lifestyle. id rstill do the exact same shit.
..
Oliver
and here u are telling me to be happy before i try and just make people like me
..
Kim
yeah well im nothing if not full of shit believe me. the thing is i am right about it being more important to myake yourself happy then other people. even though i generally dont follow my own advice. its always obvious to me what i should be doing its just my nature to do the oppostite because i freak out when things are too perfect
..
anyways. if we just put this shit behind us i feel life will be much more enjoyable
..
Oliver
hhaha so wise kim
..
ur sucha clever girl
without being patronising
u should be clever for urself
its all good kim nothing to put behind us
..
Kim
i wouldnt worry about me. i know exactly what to do to make life fine and dandy. just freaks me out to much for me to actually follow through. eventually ill get over sabotaging myself in the meantime i wouldnt worry about it.
what are the odds i haven't come across like the biggest slice of dick cheese in life?
..
Oliver
hahaha kim
sorry i didnt reply
i did the walk of shame from my friends house in dickson back to civic for a bus today
and been dying all arvo
Kim
dude. seriously. all i can say is sorry. im such a retard. this is why people are supposed to have friends that stop them doing retarded shit
..
Oliver
its fine its not ur fault
..
Kim
uh well yeah techincally it is
..
Oliver
ur not a robot and shit affects u
i should be less of a bad person
..
Kim
no but its not even like that. because i knew even before i went out that chances are i wouldnt run into you and for some reason i still went retarded about it.
like i really think i am a person who should not drink. and putting up with ali all night put me on edge. you would not even believe the night i had
anyways just dont make me into one of those chicks that you run away from when you see them in civic. because yeah im batshit crazy but like i dont want that to happen you know.
..
Oliver
yea look
loosely my thoughts on the situation are like
i think ur great and fun
but as u can tell im not one to get more involved
i feel bad for though u might feel u overreacted or were being freaked out or watever
i dont want to hurt u
and clearly u have alot of feelings on the subjet
..
Kim
yeah i know that. like honestly. i wasnt lying the other night when i said even if you were i wouldnt. which is what sucks because i think i just made a hhuge step backwards here. i'm not looking to try and get you to like me bro.
honestly it;s like this. in my life i need friends i dont need boyfriends or whatever. i just need people around. thats all. because what i tend to do is i tend to just shut myself away from people. which is why when i make friends with people i tendd to be a little paranoid that they dont really like tme that much.
..
and even though you dont believe in guy girl friendships i donno i sort of count you as a friend regardless. like obviously not totally platonically but i do
..
Oliver
i get that i just dont want to cause u problems
i dont hate u
i still think ur crazy but no more than i always have
..
Kim
yeah but now you think i like you do. which is a huge problem for me/.
too*
but look. im worried you see me as like some sort of an obstacle. in all honestly, 100% do not have a problem with you going out and picking up girls. at all. its what you do. i appreicate that. if i was a guy id probably wanna do the same. and i know it sounds hard to believe but its true.
..
i saw you out with that girl last night and i just let itbe. i just left didnt come and interrupt or anything because i dont want to be a cock block to you man
..
Oliver
ok
clearly its had an effect though
and im sorry for that
basicaly ur text outburst thing
hasnt made me feel anything bad towards u
so like dont stress
im just idk
being confronted by alot of different things
making me get all introspective
and its good i guess i wanna grow as a person
so thank u
i thhink ur great kim and u should do shit for u id love to see u really happy
..
Kim
oh god. no really i am so beyond full of shit that i really would not take anything i say as any reflection on you and you certianly shoulnt be taking it on as feedback. fuck. seriously. huuuge mistake. god.
you cant be basing your actions or whatever around the happiness of other people. i know ti others you that all these girls get so upset which is why im frustrated i went and acted like one of them last night but seriously it's not your fault. it's like avoidable but people only get hurt because of their own expectations. you arent telling them to expect this shit they just do it on their own.
..
Oliver
regardless people are still people
..
Kim Rowe
i think you spend too much time thinking about what an arsehole you are when you really arent. ive met aresholes and you might hurt people but you arent one. you are probably one of the nicest guys ive ever met. and thats why people get hurt. it's not you and i think it really sucks you think you should have to sit there and reflect on your behaviour or whatever like there is something wrong with you when ther isnt
.
yeah but you cant put other people before youself. it doesnt work. you cant ever make other people happy until you are happy yourself. its the biggest mistake anyone can make
..
Oliver
thanks kim but idk
idk
><
u dont have to apologise and shit here
..
Kim
ugh wish i could go back in time and smack myself up a little.
..
Oliver
uve done nothign wrong
the thing is i could elect to not be disingenuous
not get so involved with no long term goals
i justify me doing this kinda shit by what ursaying
if i dont promise things its ok
but at the end of the day people still have feelings
and just because i block mine out doesnt make shit ok
but anyway
ur a smart girl and u have no where near enough self respect or confidence as u deserve
i dontw anna be another factror in ur life influencing u to be that girl
..
Kim
the thing is though right shit sint that simple. its not like. take away the negative influences and kimberley will be a normal person. it;s too hard to explain why i am the way i am but it's all ive got man. like i dont want to get all crazy here but i tend to be of the mind that it's better to feel anything then nothing at all you know.
.
which people dont really understand.
so yeah i hurt myself alot. but its not the people around me.
not my influences
because even if you pulled me out of canberra put me with a different group of people. gave me a different lifestyle. id rstill do the exact same shit.
..
Oliver
and here u are telling me to be happy before i try and just make people like me
..
Kim
yeah well im nothing if not full of shit believe me. the thing is i am right about it being more important to myake yourself happy then other people. even though i generally dont follow my own advice. its always obvious to me what i should be doing its just my nature to do the oppostite because i freak out when things are too perfect
..
anyways. if we just put this shit behind us i feel life will be much more enjoyable
..
Oliver
hhaha so wise kim
..
ur sucha clever girl
without being patronising
u should be clever for urself
its all good kim nothing to put behind us
..
Kim
i wouldnt worry about me. i know exactly what to do to make life fine and dandy. just freaks me out to much for me to actually follow through. eventually ill get over sabotaging myself in the meantime i wouldnt worry about it.