Yum, Rain
I think depo provera had a more profound effect on my life outlook than I ever realized. I am a much happier person now, deep inside, with out those hormones in my body. And that month in the spring when I was very happy over all was also after I had been off of depo for a bit. I just found myself looking at the beautiful gray wetness outside of my window, thinking about depression that seems to be closing in around me, and how out of whack my sleep schedule is and generally the disarray my life is in and grinning at how cozy it was. And I am still smiling to myself, and these feelings of contentedness, peace and happiness are new and interesting for me.
I have been off of depo for 4 months now. And obviously I need to do something about my birth control situation, but I am realizing that going back on the shot should not be an option. If I do not get an IUD/IUS I should try the pill or something else. I have been an out spoken advocate for the shot, and it is something I feel very positively about, but I fear the lack of bone density and the depression I didn't even realize it was the main contributing factor to. In the 4 months I have been off of the shot I have not menstruated. That is slightly innaccurate. As the shot was wearing off I had a light period for about two days. Since then nothing. I took a pregnancy test day before yesterday, it felt like a right of passage of some sort. Also, I'm not pregnant, hurrah. However, if I don't know what the hell my ovaries are doing. Other than apparently, nothing. I would not be too upset to find out that I was sterile. I do want to at some point in my life have a child, I would like that child to be a product of my womb and genetics. But if my ovaries are broken it isn't the end of the world. It would be convenient as hell to be sterile, and if I continued to want to raise a child I would be forced to do the socially responsible thing and adopt.
Tonight I experimented with concerta again. Sadly it did not have the same positive effects. Actually it just gave me a head ache and made me throw up. So, I guess there is no miracle cure to my general mental fatigue.
My sleep schedule, you may notice, is fucked. I don't know what to do about it, nor do I really have any motivation to do anything about it.
I have been off of depo for 4 months now. And obviously I need to do something about my birth control situation, but I am realizing that going back on the shot should not be an option. If I do not get an IUD/IUS I should try the pill or something else. I have been an out spoken advocate for the shot, and it is something I feel very positively about, but I fear the lack of bone density and the depression I didn't even realize it was the main contributing factor to. In the 4 months I have been off of the shot I have not menstruated. That is slightly innaccurate. As the shot was wearing off I had a light period for about two days. Since then nothing. I took a pregnancy test day before yesterday, it felt like a right of passage of some sort. Also, I'm not pregnant, hurrah. However, if I don't know what the hell my ovaries are doing. Other than apparently, nothing. I would not be too upset to find out that I was sterile. I do want to at some point in my life have a child, I would like that child to be a product of my womb and genetics. But if my ovaries are broken it isn't the end of the world. It would be convenient as hell to be sterile, and if I continued to want to raise a child I would be forced to do the socially responsible thing and adopt.
Tonight I experimented with concerta again. Sadly it did not have the same positive effects. Actually it just gave me a head ache and made me throw up. So, I guess there is no miracle cure to my general mental fatigue.
My sleep schedule, you may notice, is fucked. I don't know what to do about it, nor do I really have any motivation to do anything about it.