burn another bridge
(break another heart)
donghae/dara, mentionof!chanyeol/dara, past!jiyong/dara| au | pg-15 | languages, murders
prompt: i don’t like the youth’s love like playing with fire
there’s something about the silence.
there’s something about the silence that dara loves; it was calming and relaxing and her body feels light and as if she’s floating in the air, something that she hasn’t feel for a long time. it feels as if all the burdens that had been weighing her started to dissipate one by one.
and if she finishes all of this, all her burdens will be gone.
--
the first time they met, she is that lonely 12-years-old girl who is still trying to learn about life after her parent’s divorce while he is that immature 10-years-old boy who didn’t care about life learning just because he can.
“hey you,” the boy called out and the girl sniffed, looking at the rude kid.
“what?” she asked.
“why are you crying?” he sat on the swing beside her, short legs dangling.
she wiped her tears and sniffed again as she answered curtly, “nothing.”
“there must be a reason why you cry,” he insisted and the girl thought his words are too mature for a kid his age, “umma told me that you need to tell someone why you’re sad so that someone can help you.”
the young girl stared at her feet, feeling some sort of truth in the young boy’s words. she bit her bottom lip and let out a soft, “my umma and appa don’t love each other anymore.”
he stared at her for a moment before suggesting, “then, make them love each other again.”
she shook her head at the suggestion, “it’s no use. appa left already.”
“your appa left too?”
the girl nodded dejectedly, tears filling her eyes again.
“then you have to smile!” he exclaimed, jumping off the swing and stood in front her, his eyes beamed with excitement, “umma told me when appa left, he’ll be watching over me from a faraway place so i shouldn’t be sad because it’ll make him sad too!”
she frowned, “your appa left? where to?”
the younger boy shrugged, “i don’t know. umma said he went to heaven.”
realization dawn on the girl at what he meant and before she could tell him that her father is not dead (and he just left for no reasons), the boy’s bright smile stopped her words. she stared at him and let out a soft smile, “i guess you’re right.”
“oh, you’re smiling!” the boy exclaimed happily, “you looked pretty when you smile!”
at this, she laughed, because really, this kid is something. she just moved to the neighborhood and because of her parents’ constant fights, she’s not that bright child she used to be. it unable her to make any new friends, thus causing her to be more depressed. she’s happy that he talked to her, finally knowing that she’s not alone.
“how old are you?” she asked as she stood up. the sun is setting and she should get home before her mother (or this boy’s) gets worried.
the boy thought for a moment before he opened up both his palms with a grin, “10!”
she giggled at the cuteness before faking a serious face, “then you should call me ‘noona’. i’m older than you.”
he stared at her for a moment before he made a gesture for her to bend down so that he can whisper something. and when she did, it’s not a whisper that she get, but a kiss on her cheek and when her eyes widened at the younger one’s bold action, the latter laughed happily before running away,
“i don’t wanna! umma won’t let me marry a noona!”
--
in lee donghae’s eyes, sandara park is the epitome of perfection. from her white, porcelain skin, her ruby lips that let out a lovely smile, her silky hair that is soft to the touch, her shiny chocolate eyes that draw you in to her lady-like demeanor and velvet voice that let out hearty laughter.
in lee donghae’s eyes, sandara park is his world.
it was as if his body was made off some dara-detector device because even with the clacking sound of her heels donghae’s head will automatically perks up and his eyes would be darted to the goddess as she grace the cafeteria with her presence.
radiant. breath-taking.
“hyung, your mouth is wide open.”
sehun’s voice sounded like a gurgle of nonsense words in donghae’s ears because all his focus, all his attention is undividedly given towards sandara park.
sehun sighed, because this is so typically donghae. deciding today is not the day to be a good dongsaeng, he hits the latter head with a spoon, effectively forcing him out of dara’s charm.
“what?”
“you’re staring like a creeper. don’t do that when i’m around you. it’s an embarrassment,” sehun chastised as he continued to finish his lunch.
donghae glared harmlessly at the younger male before he averted his eyes to dara and sehun looked up to see his older friend staring at the goddess with a serene look and dreamy smile. he silently sighed, burying his face into his lunch, he mutters,
“she’s a trouble hyung. don’t get near her.”
donghae’s head snapped towards sehun, his brows arched, “what?”
sehun sighed louder, his appetite suddenly gone. dabbing his lips with the napkin, he stood up, “sandara park is trouble. you should stay away from her. for you own good, hyung.”
with that, sehun walks away, leaving donghae alone with his uneaten lunch. the male spares a glance towards dara, who’s now smiling as one of her girl friends said something to her.
he smiled.
“silly sehun. he didn’t know her like i do.”
--
the first time the girl falls in love, she is still that lonely 15-years-old while the young boy is still that mischievous 13-years-old who lives across the street.
the boy’s name is kevin and he came from overseas. he can speaks in english and is very pretty. he’s kind and while the girl thinks she’s the lucky girl because among hundreds of girls in her school, kevin chose her, the boy thinks,
“your relationship won’t last long.”
she frowned in disapproval at his words. the younger one was sitting on the kitchen counter of her house (because they’re very close like that), wearing his baseball cap backwards, small feet dangling leisurely.
“shut up.”
“i’m telling you the truth.”
in the end, he was right. kevin was walking hand-in-hand with a girl that is not her during christmas night but she refused to break things off because she’s a lucky girl who kevin chose among hundreds of girls in her school and breaking up with kevin would be a stupid thing to do.
“sorry.”
it’s a stupid thing to do, but kevin didn’t seem to care about it. because he was standing in front of her right now, eyes cold, lips set into a straight line and she’s on her knees, eyes wide with tears, lips trembling.
“you’re pretty, but you’re not for me. i prefer someone who’s….less boring.”
that bastard, the boy taught when she told him about the breakup. they were huddled together under his blanket on his bed in his room with their shoulders touched each other and he couldn’t think of a better moment than this.
“are you okay?”
she stretched out a smile, “i guess so… i’ve kinda expected this maybe that’s why it didn’t hurt that much.”
“that’s why, you should date me instead. i’ll take care of you and i will never hurt you,” he said and for a moment there, the girl thought he was serious.
but this a 13-years-old kid living across the street. he’s going to grow up one day and she is sure that he’ll forget what he said and probably they’ll have a good laugh about this when they’re adults.
so she laughed, patting his back a bit too hard, “you’re funny, kiddo. that’s why i came to you. i know you’ll find a way to make me laugh.”
he pouts at this, “but i’m not joking….”
“yeah, yeah, whatever, kiddo,” she jumps off his bed, “go to sleep, you have school tomorrow.”
“pshhh,” the younger one baby-glared her, “you’re not my umma.”
“but i’m your noona, so shut.”
he stays silent after that before he calls out quietly, “hey.”
she made a face, the boy still won’t call her ‘noona’, but she went to him nevertheless, “what?”
when she approached him, the younger boy leaned in, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. he pulls back with a blinding grin, “ i love you.”
he gets a pillow on his face in return.
--
“another one, dara-yah?”
dara said nothing, just staring at the blue folded paper crane on the hood of her white range rover. she picked it up, studying the handmade craft curtly when bom interrupts with uncontained excitement.
“try open in up. maybe there’s a secret love message inside!”
“it’s the same as the previous ones, bommie-ah,” the goddess replied in monotonous voice, unlike her friend, “’keep smiling’, ‘take care of yourself’, ‘you looked pretty today’, all the trivial things.”
“but it’s still sweet he still does this even though you’re not replying any of his notes.”
“what should i reply with? this stalker has nothing better to do in his free times, i swear,” she huffed, throwing away the paper crane carelessly. “it’s getting creepy, bom.”
bom pouted, but find the truth in dara’s words. receiving cute notes is sweet, but having an unknown creeper sending them feels just plain wrong.
“let’s go,” dara called, hoping in her white range rover. she started the engine after bom had climbed in and drive away, the tires from her vehicle run over the weak paper crane, crushing it down.
just like lee donghae’s heart.
as he watched the range rover drive away with sad, faraway eyes, a purple paper crane in his hand.
--
the first time she gets the real heartbreak, she’s still that lonely 17-years-old girl while he is still that mischievous 15-years-old boy who lives across the street and has a pair of lips that let out wise words.
the boy name is jaejoong and he’s at the same age as her. he’s pretty, just like kevin but he’s very charming in his own way. their relationship stays strong for 9 solid months and for the first time, she thought it would be something forever.
“we’ll get our own place, and we’ll live together.”
“with lots of babies??”
jaejoong chuckled, nuzzled her hair with his nose and whispered a husky, “yeah.”
she holds on to that ‘yeah’ very tightly and tied the word to her heart.
“you’re not going to last long with him.”
“don’t say that,” she frowned deeply, “the last time you said that, kevin really broke up with me.”
“but you said it doesn’t affect you that much.”
“yeah, but this time, it’s different,” she packed up her things as she finished tutoring the boy for that night. she stood up and gripped the strap of her bag tightly, making sure that he sees the silver ring jaejong bought for her,
“he’s different and i don’t want to lose him.”
but he was right again.
jaejoong left her. jaejoong left even after he promised that they’ll run away together. jaejoong left even after she had packed up all her things and stormed out the house in the middle of night. jaejoong left even after she stands outside the train station where they promised to meet, soaked underneath the heavy rain.
jaejoong left her.
jaejoong left with the words that were tied tightly to her heart and it rips it apart.
jaejoong left and the boy never sees the same girl he met 5 years ago anymore.
--
“good morning, hyung.”
sehun stopped in his tracks when donghae said nothing in reply. he lightly tapped the older one’s forehead, and raised an eyebrow when he jumped in surprise, “really hyung? isn’t it too early for you to space out?”
donghae managed to stretch out a small smile but sehun knows better by the way the smile didn’t reach his eyes. the younger asked carefully, “what’s wrong, hyung?”
the older male said nothing, just averting his eyes to the yellow paper crane in his hands and sehun understands. he sat beside donghae, “what happened?”
“i don’t know, sehun-ah,” he fiddled with the paper crane. sehun stares at the paper crane in donghae’s hands. to other people, it’s just a piece of paper folded into the shape of a crane but to sehun, it’s love.
sehun had known donghae since his high school days. when other people treated him like some immature kid who skips grade, donghae treats him like a brother. they’ve been close ever since and they know about each other well.
like how sehun knows donghae’s infinite love towards sandara park.
he knows a little about the past donghae had with dara, but he knows a lot of donghae’s endless effort in showering the goddess with secret love. he knows a lot of donghae’s silent wishes behind his ‘i hope that my friends and family stay healthy and happy forever’ wish on his birthdays. he knows a lot of donghae’s serene eyes that are forever and always be for dara alone.
he knows a lot, but he never plays the role of supporting friend.
because even though he knows a lot about donghae’s love, he also knows a lot about sandara’s secrets.
--
the first time she stops believe about love, she was a 20-years-old young woman who’s eyes started to get dimmer as the days passed and he’s an 18-years-old lad who can only watch her back in silent.
there are rumors. that starts as stupid speculation some girls in his high school made because they’re jealous of a certain senior of theirs. but that stupid speculation went spiral to the point his mother asked him if it was true.
“so, was it true?”
“no, mom, of course not. you know she’s not like that,” he sighed in annoyance.
“but she stopped coming over three years ago, and talking about that, you didn’t tell me why.”
“she’s going to the university, she’s busy mom,” he answered curtly, poking his soggy cereals with a frown.
his mom sighed, “but how about the rumors? i mean, i haven’t seen her for awhile-”
“mom, please,” he stood up, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “that’s just a stupid rumor. she’s not pregnant or whatsoever, okay?” he huffed and made an exit from the kitchen before stopping and turn around to kiss his mother’s cheek.
“sorry about that, mom. i didn’t mean it…it’s just…”
“i understand,” the older female smiled softly as she caressed her son’s cheek affectionately, “i know you are very close to her.”
he smiled, pained.
were close.
the man is kwon jiyong he had found out and he’s a year younger than she is. he has a look of femininity but his demeanor screams charm and masculinity. he has a sexy smirk behind a cute smile and a deep voice behind a rare aegyo.
jiyong is younger than her, but he’s more mature than she is, just like the boy. he knows his way to her heart and twirls it around his lithe fingers.
and the boy knows she’s captivated by him.
so he didn’t mind when the girl decided to let herself go and just fall into an oasis of rainbows, kisses, loves and jiyong.
(but he was too late to realize it was an abyss that she fell in).
--
“so it was you?”
donghae jumped at the voice, the pink paper crane slipped off his hand. he whipped his head towards the owner voice and he was right; that sweet, velvet voice belongs to none other than sandara park.
and donghae could only stop and stare because this is goddess dara standing in front of him. even with a delicate frown on her face she’s still gorgeous in donghae’s eyes.
“you’re the one who had been sending me the paper cranes, yes?”
donghae swallowed and wiped his hands over his jeans in nervousness as dara cocked her head, “well, yes or no?”
“umm…yes…” he admitted bashfully.
dara clicked her tongue, her hands crossed over his chest and donghae tried so fucking hard not to look up from his sneakers because if he did, he knew, he knew he’ll fall head over heels all over again.
“so….you like me?” dara asked and donghae ignored how her voice sounded so careless about it. as if donghae is just another boy, just another secret admire.
because donghae is more than that. he’s not just another unknown boy who secretly admires sandara park from afar, he’s the boy who had been in love and is still in love with the girl who cried at the park when he was 10. he’s that boy who is still in love with that girl who’s still smiling after her first breakup. he’s that boy who is still in love with that missing girl whose heart was broken underneath the merciless rain. he’s that boy who’s still in love with that young woman who had her name stained by painful words made by heartless people.
lee donghae is that boy who’s in love with the girl with shattered heart and broken wings hiding behind a goddess.
“do i have to really ask you twice?” there was a mild annoyance in dara’s voice and some of the students had stop and watch the drama between the goddess and an unknown boy.
donghae slowly looked up and gather up his courage to let out a, “i love you.”
there are scoffs, murmurs and snaps of phone cameras but donghae didn’t care. he kept his eyes strong and confident on dara’s flawless, indifferent face. his breath caught in his throat and his heart pounded loudly in his ears but donghae didn’t move a single muscle fiber in his body.
dara stares. and smirks. her pink lips quirked, just the lightest but enough to make donghae mentally reduced to a puddle of goo. his adam apple bobbed as he swallowed his saliva when dara gracefully walked towards him, the clacking of her heels grew louder and louder as their distance become smaller and smaller.
she stops in front of him, just an inch away and god, how donghae missed their proximity. how their shoulders brushed against each other as they count the stars during the night, how their hands find each other as the run along the beach, how he could count the freckles on her cheeks as they have a staring competition.
“okay then,” she said, “i’ll be your girlfriend.”
donghae was perplexed, “what?”
“you said you love me, so yes, i’ll be your girlfriend.”
--
the news spread like a wildfire.
“have you heard?”
“what?”
“the goddess, dara, is hooking up with some boy from the art department.”
“who?”
“donghae hyung.”
donghae looked up from his book, his glasses perched on his nose. a grin beamed across his face at the sight of sehun, “sehun-ah! what’s up?”
sehun’s face was tight, but donghae was too blind to see. the younger one sat across him, the chair made a noisy screeching sound as he slammed his bag onto the table, “the fuck, hyung? i heard you hooked up with sandara park?”
“language, sehun,” donghae chastised half-heartedly, “why are you getting upset about this, sehun? shouldn’t you be happy for your hyung?”
sehun was gritting his teeth, his hands clenched so tight that his knuckles whitened, and this was the first time donghae saw this anger in sehun. his face turned serious, “why are you so angry about dara? it’s not like she had done anything to you.”
“you asked me if i should be happy for you, right? well, let me break the news, hyung. i won’t be happy for you as long as you’re stuck with that woman. not now, not ever.”
when sehun stood up, donghae followed quickly, his hand gripping sehun’s wrist, “what the fuck is your problem, sehun?” when sehun said nothing, he narrowed his eyes, “don’t tell me you have feelings towards dara too?”
the blonde haired male scoffed and jerked his hand away,
“as if. i would rather die.”
--
after their little fight in the library, donghae never saw sehun again.
or more, the young blonde seems to be avoiding him and his glare would harden whenever dara is near donghae.
but donghae didn’t mind. he assumed that sehun might have this ‘brother-complex’ in him since he’s the only child in his family and had treated donghae as if his own brother. he thought that sehun is still young in his mind even though he skipped grades and enter university earlier than those of his age, that’s why he has trouble accepting his one and only friend is dating a girl.
he’ll learn to accept soon, donghae thought with a small smile.
“hey, donghae,” a pair of slim arms wrapped around his waist and donghae’s smile widened as he kissed the owner’s forehead, “hey.”
“are you free this sunday?” dara asked as donghae turned around to face her, her fingers now playing with the nape of his hair.
“why?” he cocked his head with that smile that never falters even the slightest.
“i thought that maybe we can go for a date,” dara suggested, “we never had our fist date.”
“sure, babe,” he kissed her forehead, “i’ll pick you up at 9.”
--
on the d-day, donghae had woke up so early in the morning, looking for the best clothes for one of the best days in his life. he might act like a schoolgirl going on a first date with her crush, but he didn’t care. after a long thought (and a messy room) later, he decided to put on a white shirt with navy blue stripes and a pair of jeans.
“woah, looking good lee donghae,” hyukjae commented with a smirk.
donghae smiled, fixing his light brown hair. hyukjae had helped him in choosing the right outfit, and in the same time giving him a few tips about dates.
“by the way, what about sehun? have you heard from him?” hyukjae asked as donghae puts on his watch.
“nope. i haven’t seen him for a while,” donghae sighed at the thought of his younger friend.
“chill out, hae. i bet sehun is just jealous that his hyung now has a girlfriend. that kid sees you as his own brother. he’ll be fine.”
“i hope so,” donghae added, “hyuk, can you like, see sehun if he’s fine? i’m worried about him. god knows if he got sick or anything. you know he-”
“yes, yes. he’s like a little brother you never had, i know, i know,” hyukjae cuts him off, waving his hand in faked annoyance, “don’t worry. i’ll take him out later. maybe getting him laid will fix him.”
“hyukjae.”
“okay, okay. no clubs, no chicks, no booze for little sehunnie. noted.”
donghae smiled at hyukjae, he can always trust him.
he arrived at dara’s apartment 5 minutes before 9 in the morning, standing in front of her apartment with a bouquet of white lilies in his hand. when dara showed up, she was wearing saint laurent flora silk dress and a pair of black ranger boots from the same brand. her newly blonde hair was let loose pass her shoulders, her light pink lips curled into a soft smile and donghae tries to remember how to breathe.
“hey,” dara greeted him, and as if her velvet voice cast a spell on him, donghae managed to find his voice and he remembers to smile.
“hey,” he greeted back, presenting the white lilies to dara, “for you.”
“white lilies,” dara noted, accepting the bouquet gracefully. a small smile appeared on her face, and donghae watched her eyes softened, “the symbol of purity.”
“yes, they reminded me of you,” donghae added, caressing dara’s hair affectionately.
dara looked at him with a smile, “how sweet.”
donghae grinned, feeling some sort of an accomplishment. he turned around to open the door to his car, not noticing the slight fall on the goddess’ face.
how….
…annoying.
--
their date, as cliché as it might be, is at a theme park. or specifically at the lotte world theme park.
a huge grin beamed across donghae’s face as soon as they arrived. he had always love theme parks since his days as a young child. the sound of children’s laughter, teenager’s screams, people chit-chatting, the rides, the smell of foods, the performances, everything made donghae buzz with excitement.
“isn’t this fun?” he asked, walking hand in hand with dara. they had just went for so many rides and activities, such as the bumper car rides, a boat ride and even got the chance to do one of donghae’s favorite activity; a live interaction show with a beluga.
“i have so much fun, donghae,” dara answered and donghae turned to her to see her bright smile. donghae feels like dying and going to heaven and being alive to fall in love all over again. seeing dara’s smile is what made him live, but being able to bring that smile to her face means much more than that.
“let’s go for the last ride,” donghae said, pulling dara to the carousel. he helped dara gets onto one of the white horses, just like a prince charming do to his beloved princess. donghae spent his time on the ride watching dara as the older female having fun like a little child. it warmed his heart and he mentally pats himself in the back for remembering to record dara in his phone.
“it’s been a while since i have so much fun,” dara said truthfully as they get off the ride, “usually my boyfriends would bring me to an expensive restaurant or shopping or watching movies.”
she turned to donghae, “you’re really one of a kind, donghae.”
donghae feels his cheeks heated up like a high school girl do and he grabbed dara’s hand, “i still have one more place to take you to.”
confusion hits dara’s face and she looked at donghae’s watch, it’s almost 11 and the park will be closed soon. but donghae only smiled mischievously and before she could say anything, the younger one already pulled her away.
--
“what are you doing, donghae? this is a crazy thing to do!”
“shh!” donghae hushed her, pressing his finger to her lips, “shush or the guard will find us.”
dara sighed in annoyance, really, what is he planning? she crossed her arms as donghae peeked from their hiding place and when the guard left the place, a smile broke on his face, “okay, we’re safe!”
“wha-”
“here, put these on.”
ice skates? she thought as she took the pair from donghae’s hands before staring at the younger one incredulously as he puts on his own ice skates.
“what are you waiting for? hurry!” he urged, smiling giddily.
with a sigh, dara complied, putting on the skates with a bored look. after she’s done, donghae pulled her up and put his hands over his eyes, blindfolding her.
“donghae-”
“trust me,” donghae assured, guiding her slowly to wherever he wants. after a while of tumbling and walking in the darkness, donghae removed his eyes, allowing dara to have her sight back. she blinked at the sudden light and after her eyes are used to the amount of light, they widened and her mouth fell slightly ajar.
“isn’t it pretty?” donghae asked, skating smoothly beside her, “i always sneak in here at night. it was a lot prettier and calmer at night.”
dara looked around her; it wasn’t something special, she was standing in the middle of a wide ice rink and there’s only one source of light and that was shone on her. it was dark around her, but she found the darkness to be beautiful.
there’s something about the silent black that made her calm.
“how is it?” donghae asked, stopping in front of her, the same giddy smile on his face.
“it is pretty, thank you,” she said, a soft smile spread across her face.
donghae’s smile also softened, just like his eyes as he gazed lovingly into dara’s dark brown orbs. he quietly tucked the strand of dara’s hair behind her ear and brushed the bangs on her forehead. he wished to stay like this, to be this close with dara and to look at her.
he wished this is a dream that he will never wake up from.
but no matter how much he wants to stay in this magical moment, he still needs to find answers to his questions.
“dara,” he started softly, “do you remember me?”
the smile fell from dara’s face and donghae felt his heart stops a little (or maybe breaks a little). his hand fell to his side and he looked down, knowing what kind of answer he will get from dara.
he jumped when cold fingertips touched his cheeks and when he looked up, dara was smiling again,
“of course i remember. my sweet donghae.”
--
“i don’t wanna! umma won’t let me marry a noona!”
dara watched with wide eyes the young boy ran away with a grin before a soft smile crept on her face. she lightly touched her cheek, the spot where the young boy had kissed her, “stupid boy…”
i didn’t even know his name, she pouted before shrugging and picks up her bag from the ground and walked home.
i’ll ask his name tomorrow, dara thought with a smile. she couldn’t wait to meet the boy tomorrow. he’s probably the first friend she made after moving to this neighborhood and dara is really grateful for him.
he even made me smile.
“i’m home,” dara announced as she enters her house, only to be greeted with silence sobs. she hurriedly went to the source of the sound, which is her mother’s room. she quietly opened the door and saw her mother sitting on the edge of her bed, crying.
dara slowly steps inside and walked towards her crying mother, “umma, what’s wrong?”
her mother looked up and as her eyes landed on the confused look on her child’s face, she broke down even more, pulling dara into her arms, “dara-yah…my poor child…”
dara said nothing, just hugging her mother’s back as the older park cried her eyes out into her school uniform. she then caught a letter beside her mother.
divorce form.
--
“thank you for today.”
donghae smiled and dara almost sees a puppy tail wagging behind donghae. she had to chuckle at the cute smile and ruffled donghae’s hair playfully, “you’re so cute.”
a blush crept on donghae’s cheeks, his eyes widened slightly at dara’s words. he stuttered, “b-but you’re cuter than me!”
dara giggled, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. donghae quickly grabs her hand, pulling it away, “i want to see your laugh.”
silence enveloped the two and donghae saw stars twinkling in dara’s eyes. he slowly close the distance between them, his own eyes search for any disapproval in dara’s eyes. finding none, he approached slowly, breath mingling, lips closing towards each other.
“let’s go into my house,” dara suddenly said, stopping donghae’s movement. he stayed still, just a light push and their lips will be connected but dara pulled away with a sly smile, her hand grabbing donghae’s
“come in.”
--
“i love you.”
dara storms out donghae’s room after throwing a pillow to the younger one’s serious face. she didn’t expect that and her heart was beating so fast after donghae had utters the three words (and she covered it up by throwing a pillow to donghae’s face), which confuses her since this is donghae we’re talking about.
her younger friend who lives across the street.
she huffed when she enters her house, finding it dimly lit and silent as expected. her mother must’ve been sleeping, the older park had been working hard to support their lives after her father left them. dara went to her mother’s room and kissed her forehead before adjusting her blanket, a routine she did every night. she then went to her room, and donghae was all over her head again.
stop it, dara, she sighed heavily, throwing her body onto her bed, not bothering to change her clothes, donghae’s just a kid.
“that’s why, you should date me instead. i’ll take care of you and i will never hurt you.”
dara smiled to herself as donghae’s words rang in her ears. she walked faster to school, feeling all pumped up and energized. she was hesitating about going to school because school means bumping into kevin, but donghae had given her a lecture of ‘never give up’ and ‘show him you’re better without him’.
“show that after the break-up, you’re puking rainbows and unicorns because you’re happy like that.”
she was about to walk into the gate of her school when she saw kevin, kissing another girl, and all dara could think was,
there is no rainbow during thunderstorms and unicorns do not exist.
--
donghae looked around the apartment, it was spacious because dara painted the wall white and there weren’t that many furniture. the interior design gives out a sophisticated air and while donghae thought it seems off from dara’s cheerful and childish personality (that he known before), he said nothing, assuming that some people may change after so many years.
he let out a soft sigh after done exploring the space with his eyes and dara came a short moment later, two glass of wine in her hands, a smile tugged on her lips.
she handed one of the glasses to donghae, which the younger one accepted with a short nod. dara sat beside donghae, their proximity so close that donghae had to swallow for air. he hide his nervousness by drinking the wine, not noticing dara’s eyes on him or the smirk on her lips as she puts her glass away.
--
“we’ll get our own place, and we’ll live together.”
he promised, dara chanted, playing with the silver ring on her finger, he promised. she kept repeating the same sentence, kept playing with the ring, as if a witch reading out a mantra to bring back the man she loves from a magic ring.
he’ll come, she changed her mantra when the first one didn’t seem to work and the sky grumbles in disagreement. her eyes were getting blurry but she blinked it away, refuse to admit defeat, he’ll come.
he won’t leave, she tried the third mantra, but her fingers were getting tired so she stopped fiddling with her ring, he won’t leave me. the sky was laughing with thunders and booed out heavy rain onto her frail body.
he won’t leave, but even then her own body betrays her. the tears coming out in glee, mocking her for being weak. her knees weakened and she fell onto the dirty ground, her shoulders shook as realization of broken dreams hit her like waves. she clutched her chest, her heart beating on ‘whys’ and ‘i love him’s.
donghae called her the next morning but she told her mom that she’s sick and she didn’t want to meet anyone. she could almost feel donghae’s downcast face when her mother told him the exact words, but she didn’t have the strength to meet the younger one.
the next day donghae came, she gave out the same excuse.
after a week, she exits the house before donghae came.
a month later donghae stops coming.
--
“donghae.”
dara purrs as she took the glass wine from donghae’s hand and placed it onto the table. she rested her hand on donghae’s thigh, pressing her body to donghae’s slowly, her hooded eyes preying on donghae like a hungry lion.
he jumped slightly when his phone vibrated in his pocket and he hastily took it out, but dara made no attempt to move away. she read the caller id, ‘little sehunnie~’ and smirked when donghae ended the call and turned off his cell before putting it away.
she caressed his hair, her voice fell into a whisper, “donghae.”
when donghae’s hand crept upon her thigh she leered, her hand reaching into her couch,
got you.
--
when dara met jiyong, she thought this man is everything she needs.
jiyong picks her up, taking every tiny little pieces and patiently build her up so that it is sandara again. he glued all the pieces together with his sunshine smiles, sugary words and endless affections and dara just fell.
she fell into jiyong and even though jiyong was too overprotective of her, she didn’t mind living in the golden cage set by jiyong. she didn’t mind having her wings ripped off and she didn’t mind being chained to jiyong.
that’s why when he proposed, dara didn’t wait a second to say ‘yes’.
her mother also agrees, telling them to hurry up with the wedding since the people in the neighborhood had been talking about dara being pregnant before marriage. dara didn’t mind though, because what’s important is that jiyong is going to be her husband and she’ll get a happy married life like she had always want.
the wedding was held in a simple and small celebration with only close relatives invited. they didn’t even invite their friends since they wanted to keep it as a secret from everyone.
dara didn’t even invite donghae, her first and childhood friend.
it was a simple plan, they’ll get married and after that they’ll move away from the neighborhood, where no one knows them and live their life from there.
it was a simple plan, but maybe it was too simple that fate decided to put some twist in it.
--
so close.
donghae’s eyes were fixated on dara’s lips, his own lips couldn’t wait to taste the pink sweetness. he slowly close the distance between them, his fingers tracing dara’s smooth thigh, his heart beating faster by the second.
just an inch closer and he’ll get to taste-
donghae’s eyes widened and his entire body went rigid when he felt a numb-minding pain on his back before it surged through his entire body. dara pulled back slowly and he watched in shock at the sneer she sent him. he inhaled sharply when he felt the second sting, this time feeling hundred times more painful than the first one and his eyes widened even more when dara pulled out a bloodied knife, waving it in front of his face.
she then shoved him off her black leather couch, a pained groan escaped his lips as his body hit the ground. the pain was getting immense and donghae felt himself sweating profusely as his vision was getting hazy.
but all he could think was why?
“as i thought, all guys are the same. dogs,” dara said, as if answering his question. she stood up, her finger tracing the blade with an expressionless look, a stark contrast from her giggling-self a few hours before.
“wh-wh….at…?” donghae managed to breathe out, his lungs expand and contract rapidly just as his heart pumping.
“i hate men you know,” dara stated the matter-of-factly, grabbing the white lilies donghae gave her and throw it onto the floor before stomping onto it, “they’re just so filthy and disgusting that i just can’t stand them. they thought they’re superior, that’s why they took advantage on women.”
donghae was breathing heavily, his brain trying to keep up with dara’s words, “that’s why i want to kill them.”
she stared him down, her eyes bleak and hollow, “all of them.”
crimson blood dripped onto the white lilies and donghae’s vision blackened.
--
when donghae wakes up, he felt a pound in his head, a stinging pain in his back, and the burning light blinding his vision. he had to blink a few times to adjust to the amount of light and when his eyes were accustomed to the light, his brains slowly works to identify his whereabouts.
hospital.
“hyung!”
sehun.
“hyung, are you okay?” sehun’s worried face appeared in his field of vision and donghae swallowed thickly before nodding, grimacing at the bitter taste in his throat.
“wh-what happened?” he asked sorely, having sehun helping him to sit up.
“you don’t remember? i found you almost bleeding to death in an alley. what happened, hyung? did someone rob you?”
“n-no,” he slowly shook his head, frowning as he tried to remember what happened, “i-i was… iwas on a date. with…with dara.”
sehun’s face fell into scowl as realization dawn on him, “you were with sandara park? what the fuck did she do to you!?”
“i-i,” donghae groaned and his hand instinctively touched his back, where he was stabbed-
“she stabbed me…” he let out softly, he himself couldn’t believe at the words leaving his chapped lips, “d-dara…s-she stabbed m-me…”
sehun clenched his teeth and slammed the steel railing of donghae’s hospital bed in anger, “i should’ve known. i should’ve fucking known!”
“sehun,” donghae looks at sehun in confusion, “you knew? h-how? what do you know about dara?”
the young blonde huffed, “i know because this is not the first time she pulled this kind of shit.”
“what do you mean? is this connected to why you hate her so much?”
sehun could only sigh as he stares at the floor miserably
--
if you want to know the truth, i think it’s better if you talk to my best friend, park chanyeol.
donghae stares up the rundown apartment in front of him before looking down at the address in his hand, this is the right place.
i’ve known him since kindergarten, so we’re very close. that’s why i knew he has a past with sandara park. if you ask him, he’ll tell you everything you want. i’ve notify him about you.
number 21, donghae reads before hesitantly knocked on the door.
and hyung,
the door creaked silently, a soft timid voice coming from behind the wooden door, “y-yes?”
when you see him,
“um…is this park chanyeol’s place?” donghae inquires carefully, trying to find the owner’s face, “i’m lee donghae. se-sehun sent me here.”
“sehun?” he asked, “oh sehun?”
“yes, i’m lee donghae. sehun’s friend. he told you about me, right?”
“uhm… yes,” the voice spoke and the door shut before donghae hears him unlocking the door. the wooden door slowly creaks open and donghae had to stop his mouth from exclaiming a surprise.
don’t stare at his face.
“hi, i-i’m park chanyeol.”
park chanyeol, as donghae sees, is a tall young man. he’s notably taller than donghae and his body definitely has a nice built. his smile is kind and sweet and he would be a handsome lad if it wasn’t for his disfigured face.
the right side of his face is perfectly normal, donghae could see his twinkling round eyes and the partial of his round nose and lips but the other half was completely…unrecognized.
“hi, i’m lee donghae,” donghae quickly smiled, remembering sehun’s words, don’t stare.
“p-please, come in,” chanyeol invited, and donghae wondered if the younger one is always this nervous and fidgety.
“um, it’s not much, b-but please have a seat,” he said, smiling gently at donghae.
the older one nodded and accepted the kind offer, his curious eyes looking around the shabby apartment. chanyeol came a moment later with two cups of hot coffee for donghae and himself, “i hope you don’t mind t-this place um…i-it’s quite rundown but i-it’s what i c-could afford.”
“no, no, it’s okay. as long as you have a shelter, right?”
chanyeol agreed with a small, timid nod, “um… i-i heard you want to know about…um…d-dara noona?”
“ah…” donghae looked down, “yeah… uhm, you see, she stabbed me in the back after our first date. and sehun told me that you’ll have the answer to why she did that.”
“oh,” chanyeol exclaimed softly, “well, i’m not surprised.”
“pardon?”
“w-well, i’m not surprised she stabbed you,” chanyeol said truthfully, “b-but i’m surprised you’re still alive. i mean, she-she did this to me.”
donghae’s eyes widened at chanyeol’s lopsided smile, “she…what?”
“umm…” chanyeol fiddled with his fingers, pulling his hood to cover his hideous face, “um…i-i’ve always liked dara noona. i-i think she’s very beautiful,” he smiled goofily, “a-and when she accepted me, i-i was really happy. it’s like a d-dream comes true.”
“b-but…” his face fell slightly, replaced with the look of sadness, “but noona had a very hard past. t-that’s why she becomes violent. b-but, but noona is very kind. she’s kind to me, b-but i did-i did something that made her angry. that’s why she threw the acid to m-my face.”
donghae frowned, “wait, what? you did what?”
“i-i…i asked her about her ex-husband jiyong and-and also her ex-boyfriends and s-she went berserk-”
“jiyong? ex-husband? are you saying she’s married to jiyong?”
chanyeol nodded hurriedly, “i-i know all about noona’s past. i’ve searched for it even before i confessed to her. she-she did a lot of terrible things, but i know it’s because of what had h-happened to her.”
“what kind of terrible things? what happened?” donghae pressed on.
“w-well…” chanyeol gnawed his bottom lip, not sure if he should tell the tale. donghae, noticing his nervousness, promised him that he won’t tell dara that he told him everything. the younger one contemplates for a while before nodding softly.
“n-noona was married with jiyong w-when she was 20. um, she never tells anybody because she wanted to live somewhere far from her neighborhood with jiyong. t-they wanted a normal, peaceful life as a married couple.”
and she never tells me this? donghae thought in disappointment.
“everything was going fine between them, and noona was h-happy. jiyong has a nice job, they have a warm place to live in, everything was p-perfect.…until-until noona got pregnant with their first child.”
donghae’s head shot up, “pregnant?”
“yes!” dara grinned as she hugged jiyong in excitement, “i’m pregnant!”
“noona thought with her being pregnant, her life with jiyong would be better. b-but she was wrong.”
dara smiled as she stroked her growing belly, feeling her little boy kicking against her touch, “umma loves you too.”
“i’m home,” jiyong announced as he entered their room, a grin spread across his face. he hugged her from behind, kissing her cheek lovingly.
“welcome home, ji,” she laughed, caressing his hair.
“so, what’s up? anything happened today?”
“he kicked my belly!” dara informed her husband with her uncontained excitement.
“who?”
“the baby,” she grinned, patting her tummy softly, “he kicked. i guess he’s really excited to see me.”
“yeah…the baby…” jiyong’s face fell, a heavy sigh escaped his lips.
“what’s wrong?”
“i don’t know, it’s just,” he shrugged, taking her hands in his, “you’ve been ‘the baby this’ and ‘the baby that’, and well, i want you to talk about you, not the baby.”
“but he’s my baby. our baby,” dara emphasized, “don’t you love our baby?”
jiyong didn’t answer.
“she assumed jiyong is just jealous because dara noona i-is giving more attention and love to her unborn baby. th-that it could be because he-he’s still young. she thought j-jiyong would come to love the baby after he was born.”
chanyeol stopped suddenly, his teeth gnawing his bottom lip to the point donghae thought it would bleed soon, “b-but… but she didn’t h-have the chance to deliver the baby.”
“what…” donghae looks perplexed, “what do you mean?”
“abortion.”
“what?”
“the baby, i don’t want it,” jiyong said in a monotone voice, as if he’s reading a boring essay on how to save the environment, “get an abortion.”
“what?” dara asked incredulously, “are you out of your mind!? i’m two months away from laboring and you told me to get a fucking abortion!?”
“then what should i do!? i don’t want the fucking baby!” jiyong retorted, and dara just couldn’t believe how jiyong talks as if he wants her to get rid of the ugly sofas, not his own flesh and blood.
“jiyong, this is our baby! ours! how could you tell me to get rid of him!?”
“i never wanted a baby! i don’t want us to have stupid children running around the house!” jiyong retaliates, “i want us to be together, forever! just the two of us!”
as dara was still trying to comprehend what the fuck jiyong meant, the younger male went to grab her hands, his face scrawled with desperation, “come on, dara. just think about it. the two of us, together. we can do so many things. we do not need some snobby kids to be happy. we have each other.”
dara scoffed, her ears couldn’t believe the words jiyong just threw at her. she jerked her hands away and backed away from jiyong, “no, jiyong. you’re the one who’ll be happy. this child is mine and i want him in my life.”
“you mean you would rather have him than me!?”
when dara nodded, all hell broke loose.
“when she wakes up in the hospital, it’s been three days a-and-and her baby…her baby was gone. she…she also couldn’t bear another child after the incident.”
“d-didn’t she report it to the police!? she should’ve-” donghae was loss at words, during dara’s worst nightmare, he wasn’t there to protect her. he failed as her self-proclaimed protector.
“she would if she could. but j-jiyong told the hospital that d-dara noona fell off the stairs. t-they believed him.”
drops of tears fell from donghae’s eyes. he’s so mad at the bastard jiyong for what he did to dara, but he was even more frustrated at himself for being absent during dara’s hard times. from the day jaejoong broke up with her, the rumors - donghae was never there for her.
everything was his fault.
“dara noona had been depressed from that day. but mostly, she was filled with a-anger and hatred towards jiyong. h-he took care of her and said sweet words as if h-he didn’t do what he did. and blinded by the pure rage, sh-she…”
baffled at chanyeol’s sudden silence, donghae tried to put the pieces together, “…she killed him.”
“b-but no one knows. people j-just assumed that jiyong left with another woman b-because of her miscarriage a-and she never reports him missing.”
“but how did you know that?”
“i put the pieces together,” chanyeol answered, “some of the neighbors told me about their fight before the incident a-and i think it’s illogical for jiyong to leave n-noona if he’s that o-obsessed with her.”
donghae was still trying to process everything chanyeol told him. he just couldn’t believe how a sweet girl who’s a crybaby can actually turned into a heartless murderer.
“s-so, after that. h-her boyfriends, she…she killed all of them?”
when chanyeol nodded softly, donghae felt his soul was ripped of his body, every fiber of his muscles went rigid and his heart stopped beating, he felt like dying.
“she h-hated men after that. s-she thought they’re after her f-for her looks and body,” chanyeol informed and an image of dara looking at him with cold eyes and a knife in her hand flashed through donghae’s head.
“as i thought, all guys are the same. dogs.”
--
“well, dara hadn’t contact me for weeks, so i don’t really know where she is right now. sorry.”
donghae sighed heavily as he and sehun walked out bom’s house. it had been a week since he met chanyeol and he had been trying to search for dara, in hope of talking to her about the whole situations, but to his dismay the older female had disappeared like the wind, leaving not a single trace on her whereabouts.
“you need to go easy on your body hyung,” sehun chastised, “you’re still recovering.”
“i’m fine, sehun-ah,” donghae brushed his concern off, but i don’t think my heart is.
“i don’t see the point of finding her, hyung. it’s better to let her go as far away as possible from you, right?” sehun reasoned.
“i’ve known her since we were young, sehun. i’m her first friend and-and-” he exhaled exasperatedly, “her mother is living across the street, how am i going to face her and if she ever ask about dara, how can i tell her that her only child is a serial killer?”
sehun went silent, finding no appropriate response to that. donghae ran his fingers through his hair before his phone vibrated. he frowned, an unknown caller, before answering the call, “hello?”
“i thought it would be appropriate to call you, just to confirm that it’s over between us you know,” the velvet voice greeted him from the other line and donghae’s eyes widened.
“dara, where are you? i need to see you, now!” he demanded, bringing sehun’s attention.
“ah…still the same brat who won’t call me noona,” she chuckled lowly, “donghae, donghae, donghae. my sweet, beloved donghae. the last time you met me, you almost die with a knife struck your back. remember that, sweetie?”
donghae clenched his phone at dara’s careless tone, “dara… i met chanyeol,” he paused, so does the female, “he told me…about jiyong.”
there was a moment of silence before dara cooed, “chanyeol… of course, the one that got away,” he could feel the sly smile in her voice, “he had always been my favorite. an eager young man, just like you. and even though he survived, never once he reported me to the police. such a sweetheart. i should send him my thanks, don’t you think?”
“dara, we can talk about this. i can help you.”
“help me with what donghae? i don’t need any help. i’m not a terminally ill patient, aren’t i?” dara’s question renders him speechless. what could he do to help dara? and most importantly, does dara need any help in the first place?
“that’s what i thought. well, my flight is about to take-off, i’d have to end our lovely conversation here.”
“f-flight!? you’re going abroad!?” donghae exclaimed, stupefied.
a hearty chuckle escaped dara’s lips, “goodbye donghae. may we never meet each other again, sweetie.”
--
dara smiled to herself as she ended the call, taking off her sim card and replaced it with the new one. her smile widened when her companion sat beside her and ignoring the looks other passenger were giving them, she pulled down the hood and kissed her companion’s cheek.
“my chanyeol,” she whispered, caressing the younger male’s disfigured face affectionately, “i’m sorry what happened to you, darling.”
“i-it’s okay, noona. i know you didn’t mean it,” chanyeol grinned, crooked teeth showing.
“so kind, so pure,” dara spoke tenderly, her warm gaze melts chanyeol in his seat, “that’s why you’re my favorite chanyeol-ah.”
she hugged his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes fluttered close.
“always mine.”
a/n: oh shittttttt this is long, like so fucking long (23 pages and 9000+ words according to Microsoft word) i can’t. i really love writing twisted kinda stories but idk if i have done a good job orz
i love how dara portrayed her ‘evil’ side in missing you mv. like she looks innocent on the outside, but messing with her heart and she’ll get you back. idk, i love this kind of character. besides, dara said that she’s on tv is different from her real-self. meaning, she’s not always the lovable, dorky, cheerful vitamin (which means she might be introvert, but since this is a fiction, let me be delulu by assuming she’s a cold-hearted, badass gal ^^)
okay, imma stop ranting, please comment ;A;
umm, and this is unbeta-ed and i stayed up all night finishing this, so sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors (/cough/ineedabeta/cough/)