OSCAR PREDICTIONS DESPITE ONLY HAVING SEEN A HANDFUL OF OSCAR NOMINEES.
I'm not predicting boring things like shorts and documentaries. SNOOZE, amirite? (I am wrong)
BEST PICTURE
The Hurt Locker. I'd like it to go to Up, though. Either of these two.
Write-in: Star Trek. (I've seen about seven movies in the last year, sorry)
ACTOR
Jeff Bridges. Probably. I have no clue.
Write-in: Sam Rockwell and Sam Rockwell, Moon.
SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon (just because) OR Plummer (cramming for finals). Tucci deserves one (Best Supporting DILF), BUT NOT FOR THE LOVELY BONES.
Write-in: The burning ouija board from the abominable Paranormal Activity OR the kid from The Unborn who says "he wants to be born now" and punches her from Cloverfield.
ACTRESS IN A LEAD ROLE
Carey Mulligan. Brit invasion!, etc. Also the rest of the nominees make me go "ehhhhh."
Write-in: Alison Lohman, Drag Me To Hell. "I BEAT YOU, YOU BITCH."
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Maggie Gyllenhaal OR Mo'Nique. No clue, but both have lots of appeal here. Either it'll go to a black lady, or a narcoleptic mannequin.
Write-in: Hannah's wig.
ANIMATED FEATURE
Up. No contest? Coraline is a possibility (less people voting Up because of its Best Picture inclusion?) and is very good, but Up all the way.
Write-in: Was there a Pokemon movie this year? Oh, Astro Boy!
ART DIRECTION
Doctor Parnassus. I like Gilliam's style. Possible Avatar win?
Write-in: Whatever, who cares, it'll go to Avatar.
CINEMATOGRAPHY
Avatar. Just...because. IDC.
Write-in: Dragonball. Just STUNNING photography, amirite.
COSTUME DESIGN
Coco Before Chanel. Given? I think The Young Victoria is nominated too, THEY LOVE PERIOD SHIT.
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker. "Oh, a lady director!" Plus I liked her at the BAFTAS.
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
FILM EDITING
Inglourious Basterds. IDK, it needs something, right?
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Un Prophete.
Write-in: omg as if I watch movies with subtitles. Is Canada foreign? Pontypool looks well good and sometimes those Canadians speak French. Oh, and Thirst, obvs.
MAKEUP
Star Trek (WINONA LULZ, CHRIS PINE FRESHNESS).
Write-in: Blue penis. That was real, right?
MUSIC
Up (stunning score!).
Write-in: HANNAH. MON. TANA.
SOUND EDITING
The Hurt Locker OR Avatar (would prefer Star Trek tbqh).
Write-in: Trans Formers.
SOUND MIXING
Star Trek. BECAUSE. "Multi-Academy Award winner Star Trek."
Write-in: Trans Formers. Such a noisy mess, I think it was ART.
VISUAL EFFECTS
Avatar, but it SHOULD go to either of the other nominees. Suck it, Na~vi~*. TBH this opinion is formed entirely on how stupid I think the Na'Vi look. I guess that is bad.
Write-in: Tormented, for the bit where Jal from Skins waves her stumpy arms about.
WRITING (ADAPTED)
An Education (because it's Hornby) OR Precious (HARD-HITTING TRU LIFE). Should go to In The Loop.
Write-in: GI Joe.
WRITING (ORIGINAL)
A Serious Man OR Inglourious Basterds.
Write-in: Obsessed. "BITCH I'LL SHOW U CRAZY."
WRITE-IN CATEGORY - BEST EYE CANDY
- Cam Giggidy, Pandorum
- Chris Fine, Star Trek
- That Australian guy, Abortionator 17: Revenge of the Beep-Beeps
I've only seen Star Trek, Coraline, Up and Trans Formers 2: Revenghee of the Fallen so far, though, so I imagine this will be 99% wrong. Like I care, THE OSCARS ARE SUCH A JOKE but I have to watch in case ("in case") people say or do stupid things. And so I can be all "GRRR SANDRA BOLLOCKS."
BEST PICTURE
The Hurt Locker. I'd like it to go to Up, though. Either of these two.
Write-in: Star Trek. (I've seen about seven movies in the last year, sorry)
ACTOR
Jeff Bridges. Probably. I have no clue.
Write-in: Sam Rockwell and Sam Rockwell, Moon.
SUPPORTING ACTOR
Matt Damon (just because) OR Plummer (cramming for finals). Tucci deserves one (Best Supporting DILF), BUT NOT FOR THE LOVELY BONES.
Write-in: The burning ouija board from the abominable Paranormal Activity OR the kid from The Unborn who says "he wants to be born now" and punches her from Cloverfield.
ACTRESS IN A LEAD ROLE
Carey Mulligan. Brit invasion!, etc. Also the rest of the nominees make me go "ehhhhh."
Write-in: Alison Lohman, Drag Me To Hell. "I BEAT YOU, YOU BITCH."
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Maggie Gyllenhaal OR Mo'Nique. No clue, but both have lots of appeal here. Either it'll go to a black lady, or a narcoleptic mannequin.
Write-in: Hannah's wig.
ANIMATED FEATURE
Up. No contest? Coraline is a possibility (less people voting Up because of its Best Picture inclusion?) and is very good, but Up all the way.
Write-in: Was there a Pokemon movie this year? Oh, Astro Boy!
ART DIRECTION
Doctor Parnassus. I like Gilliam's style. Possible Avatar win?
Write-in: Whatever, who cares, it'll go to Avatar.
CINEMATOGRAPHY
Avatar. Just...because. IDC.
Write-in: Dragonball. Just STUNNING photography, amirite.
COSTUME DESIGN
Coco Before Chanel. Given? I think The Young Victoria is nominated too, THEY LOVE PERIOD SHIT.
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
DIRECTING
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker. "Oh, a lady director!" Plus I liked her at the BAFTAS.
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
FILM EDITING
Inglourious Basterds. IDK, it needs something, right?
Write-in: DRAGONBALL.
FOREIGN LANGUAGE
Un Prophete.
Write-in: omg as if I watch movies with subtitles. Is Canada foreign? Pontypool looks well good and sometimes those Canadians speak French. Oh, and Thirst, obvs.
MAKEUP
Star Trek (WINONA LULZ, CHRIS PINE FRESHNESS).
Write-in: Blue penis. That was real, right?
MUSIC
Up (stunning score!).
Write-in: HANNAH. MON. TANA.
SOUND EDITING
The Hurt Locker OR Avatar (would prefer Star Trek tbqh).
Write-in: Trans Formers.
SOUND MIXING
Star Trek. BECAUSE. "Multi-Academy Award winner Star Trek."
Write-in: Trans Formers. Such a noisy mess, I think it was ART.
VISUAL EFFECTS
Avatar, but it SHOULD go to either of the other nominees. Suck it, Na~vi~*. TBH this opinion is formed entirely on how stupid I think the Na'Vi look. I guess that is bad.
Write-in: Tormented, for the bit where Jal from Skins waves her stumpy arms about.
WRITING (ADAPTED)
An Education (because it's Hornby) OR Precious (HARD-HITTING TRU LIFE). Should go to In The Loop.
Write-in: GI Joe.
WRITING (ORIGINAL)
A Serious Man OR Inglourious Basterds.
Write-in: Obsessed. "BITCH I'LL SHOW U CRAZY."
WRITE-IN CATEGORY - BEST EYE CANDY
- Cam Giggidy, Pandorum
- Chris Fine, Star Trek
- That Australian guy, Abortionator 17: Revenge of the Beep-Beeps
I've only seen Star Trek, Coraline, Up and Trans Formers 2: Revenghee of the Fallen so far, though, so I imagine this will be 99% wrong. Like I care, THE OSCARS ARE SUCH A JOKE but I have to watch in case ("in case") people say or do stupid things. And so I can be all "GRRR SANDRA BOLLOCKS."