(no subject)
i wrote some pretty harsh things in here about roy. i wrote some pretty untrue things as well. i guess he read some of these things, and now he despises my very existence. i'm not shocked. i would despise my very existence myself if i read something like that about me. >_<
what can i say but i have managed to hurt myself so many times with the angel that it's a commonplace thing when i relate to him. hurt. pain. love. that's what i feel when i think about him. indifference? no. it's never indifference. i feel cold all over. i never thought i'd stop shaking. why does he still have this effect on me?
he broke my heart as much as i broke his. why doesn't he understand that? i guess i'm the silly one here. the silly one that forgives so easily, the silly one that would give up everything for one more sweet kiss. i would give up my life here--everything i've fought so hard to create..i would trade everything for his sweetness again.
but who am i kidding? again, see silly girl. everything written in this journal is silly. we had made progress only to have it smashed again by my harsh words. now perhaps he is truly lost.
angel. who refuses to be my angel.
angel who would set me ablaze, rather than fall with me into sweet oblivion once more.
<3
what can i say but i have managed to hurt myself so many times with the angel that it's a commonplace thing when i relate to him. hurt. pain. love. that's what i feel when i think about him. indifference? no. it's never indifference. i feel cold all over. i never thought i'd stop shaking. why does he still have this effect on me?
he broke my heart as much as i broke his. why doesn't he understand that? i guess i'm the silly one here. the silly one that forgives so easily, the silly one that would give up everything for one more sweet kiss. i would give up my life here--everything i've fought so hard to create..i would trade everything for his sweetness again.
but who am i kidding? again, see silly girl. everything written in this journal is silly. we had made progress only to have it smashed again by my harsh words. now perhaps he is truly lost.
angel. who refuses to be my angel.
angel who would set me ablaze, rather than fall with me into sweet oblivion once more.
<3