(no subject)
it hurts so much to feel almost nothing. its a deep dull ache. to feel somethings so strong and others not at all. what i do feel is what i do not want to feel. i fight it so much it tears me up inside. it creates conflict with others that i cannot admit what i feel. i cannot be at peace with it. all i do is fight it. how am i ever going to feel anything else if i fight the few feelings that i have. why must the only things i feel be the deep things. why can i not feel simple things.