Its been awhile...
I know I havn't posted anything for awhile. Its just I've had alot of problems latley. Im pretty much being diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder... And getting prescribed with REALLY good anti-depressent pills. My councelor is worried because I barely sleep, and when I do its for barely an hour and the most usualy 3-5... Its pretty sad. And on top of that, I just got in trouble with the police @.@ And I have to keep it confidential, so sorry... Can't say much about it. Then... I believe Im pregnant. And its not gonna be a good pregnancy if I am because of all the shit I've been doing with and to myself, especially since Im a heavy smoker & drinker, My good friends that know about this tell me Abortion! Abortion! But I can't do that... If Im gonna be stupid enough to have sex, then I need to accept having a child. I took two test. The first last week it said Negative. Then the second yesterday... It came out pregnant. And the worst part about this, is the dad... He's a 17 year old, going to the army for 4 years in Germany, and Doesn't know about it yet... Im so scared to tell him. We don't even talk anymore. He even asked me to wait for him when he comes back to California, but I said, I don't know If I can do that... He said he loves me... I can't take those words anymore, Its so horrible... Love is horrible. Well me And Louii broke up. He couldn't take in all my emotions. Now Im seeing my friend Nick... We'll see how that goes... Im not rushing ANYTHING... I just feel so alone latley. Im moving out too... I can't wait!!!